I am so cross - mainly with myself. I divorced ten years ago and have DS11. Apart from a few dates with someone over three years ago, I have been single and although I have missed the company of someone, things have been good. I like my job, colleagues, have a good social life and now a son who has just started secondary so I am pretty busy.
I have an old school friend that I have known for 50 years! He was a year above me. We’ve stayed connected over the years, mainly on socials and have seen each other at various school reunions. I always thought what a lovely guy he was and about two months ago, we started messaging each other and are now in a pretty intense situationship, for want of a better word! I am not sure how this has happened but I am completely crazy about him. I can’t eat or sleep and it feels like pleasure and pain all in one. I can’t actually believe I am in this position. I sense that he is backing off and I am quite angry about it but mainly with myself. My equilibrium has been disturbed after all this time and I am not dealing with it very well. I don’t want to blow up at him or come across as needy - do I challenge him on where he sees this going or do I just back off, get on with my life and if he’s really interested, his actions will show me? We are both in our 50s so I know this sounds pathetic. I feel like I have fallen foul of a love-bomber and I feel like crap. He’s super-intelligent, self-aware and has a high-powered well-paid job, so this is not someone of low intellect (if that makes any difference). I’m a single Mum but earn a lot less. I don’t know why but I’m feeling so insecure and on the back foot.
What should I do?