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I have had a lucky escape

70 replies

NowtWorse · 24/09/2026 12:43

Met a guy on an app in early June. Divorced with one child with shared living arrangements with ex-wife. All good. He'd broken up with his ex (not ex-wife, he's been with this woman for about 6 years until she walked out last summer 2025. I'm the first person he's been seeing since then.

I'm divorced with one child and moved to a different part of the country after escaping an abusive marriage in 2017. This is the first relationship since for me too after concentrating on my child.

All going very well and happy until the ex turned up screaming and shouting and hammering on the door saying you're seeing someone else. Turns out she's been playing games for months with him until he told her it's over and the house is going on the market in May. We never introduced our children.

She was screaming, called me a slut and a common tart and to get out of her house. To be fair he told her to calm down and go home but the evening was wrecked.

She later broke in and cut some of his clothes up and caused some other damage.

She kept calling him crying and saying she wanted him back and she'd made a mistake. It came to a head last weekend when we had concert tickets and he cancelled because she'd shown up, going on about how she's changed.

He got back to me saying he didn't know what to do. I made the decision for him. She told him I wasn't the right sort of person to settle down with as I work part time and don't own my house. That's because of my marriage breakdown and its consequences.

I'm sure it'll all end in tears. I did meet his mother briefly who seemed nice and said the ex was selfish and controlling.

I've had a lucky escape haven't I? I know men lie about crazy exes but I've seen one in action and this one is genuine.

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 24/09/2026 12:46

If he was thinking of going back to his ex then yeah you’ve had a lucky escape. Hopefully the poor guy reports his ex and gets help to get rid of her for good.

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 12:49

She later broke in and cut some of his clothes up and caused some other damage.

the same night you were there when she was screaming at you?

ManManManManMan · 24/09/2026 12:50

Crazy exes are definitely real. Most of my friends have a story or two. Mine rang my manager at work pretending to be the police and told him I’d been harassing her, then reported me to the police and told them I’d stolen her stuff when it was her who had stolen from me when I kicked her out. This was after she’d tampered with the brakes in my bike and caused my to go over the handlebars and land on my head. And many other things.

One of my closest friends is in the process of having his life destroyed by his ex who is a certifiable psychopath hell bent on setting him dead. So yeah, they do exist, they’re everywhere unfortunately.

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 12:50

Yes a lucky escape

although he wouldn’t have seen me for dust following the first crazy dramatic show down.

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 12:51

She told him I wasn't the right sort of person to settle down with as I work part time and don't own my house.

He presumably told her that

NowtWorse · 24/09/2026 12:53

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 12:49

She later broke in and cut some of his clothes up and caused some other damage.

the same night you were there when she was screaming at you?

No it was a few days after that when he was at work. I can't even think why he'd consider giving it another go after that.

OP posts:
Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 12:57

NowtWorse · 24/09/2026 12:53

No it was a few days after that when he was at work. I can't even think why he'd consider giving it another go after that.

I can’t think why you’d have thought to carry on with this relationship after that quite shocking display from his ex!

Just forget about him. What a weirdo!

sherbetlemonade · 24/09/2026 13:10

Not your circus, not your monkeys. Way too much drama.

NowtWorse · 24/09/2026 13:33

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 12:51

She told him I wasn't the right sort of person to settle down with as I work part time and don't own my house.

He presumably told her that

Well yes I guess she was quizzing him about me.

OP posts:
Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 15:17

NowtWorse · 24/09/2026 13:33

Well yes I guess she was quizzing him about me.

He didn’t need to tell that level of detail fgs

NowtWorse · 24/09/2026 16:43

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 15:17

He didn’t need to tell that level of detail fgs

It's a shame, we got on very well. He was nice and respectful. I'm now seeing him as a wuss to be honest with you.

OP posts:
Lmnop22 · 24/09/2026 16:46

He literally cancelled a concert date with you because his ex wanted him back and he was considering it? After she broke into his house, turned up uninvited at his house screaming abuse at him and his partner and refusing to leave?

Yeah, bullet dodged OP!

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 16:53

NowtWorse · 24/09/2026 16:43

It's a shame, we got on very well. He was nice and respectful. I'm now seeing him as a wuss to be honest with you.

“Nice and respectful”?

I think you and I have very very different standards for what constitutes “nice and respectful”

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 16:56

It came to a head last weekend when we had concert tickets and he cancelled because she'd shown up, going on about how she's changed.

I would bet that he took her instead

Empress13 · 24/09/2026 17:18

Bloody hell you don’t want the drama I’d get rid

NowtWorse · 24/09/2026 17:38

Lmnop22 · 24/09/2026 16:46

He literally cancelled a concert date with you because his ex wanted him back and he was considering it? After she broke into his house, turned up uninvited at his house screaming abuse at him and his partner and refusing to leave?

Yeah, bullet dodged OP!

Yes he did. She turned up to talk and said she wanted to stay the night but she ended up going back to wherever she lives. She also said I live too far away from him to sustain a relationship. It's 15 miles.

He probably was trying to avoid her having a meltdown but to even consider the idea is crazy.

OP posts:
NowtWorse · 24/09/2026 17:39

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 16:53

“Nice and respectful”?

I think you and I have very very different standards for what constitutes “nice and respectful”

I mean before this woman showed up and everything hit the fan.

OP posts:
Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 17:45

NowtWorse · 24/09/2026 17:39

I mean before this woman showed up and everything hit the fan.

You only met him in June! So he was “nice and respectful” for a few weeks? When was the ex incident?

Did he or you have the concert tickets?

NowtWorse · 24/09/2026 17:48

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 17:45

You only met him in June! So he was “nice and respectful” for a few weeks? When was the ex incident?

Did he or you have the concert tickets?

He bought the tickets himself. The ex incident was 6 September.

OP posts:
Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 17:54

NowtWorse · 24/09/2026 17:48

He bought the tickets himself. The ex incident was 6 September.

I reckon he took the ex to the concert

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 17:55

When he called and said pathetically he didn’t know what to do
and you said let’s call it quits
how did he respond?

Lexingtonavenueandme · 24/09/2026 17:56

I wouldn’t be surprised if he was addicted to and feeding the drama. I mean, 6 years is a long time to stay with a ‘maniac’

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 17:57

Lexingtonavenueandme · 24/09/2026 17:56

I wouldn’t be surprised if he was addicted to and feeding the drama. I mean, 6 years is a long time to stay with a ‘maniac’

Oh exactly

FloydPink · 24/09/2026 18:51

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 17:45

You only met him in June! So he was “nice and respectful” for a few weeks? When was the ex incident?

Did he or you have the concert tickets?

Maybe I am missing something but can we be helped with crazy ex's. Ok, you may not want the drama of someone with one, but they cant help it!

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 18:56

FloydPink · 24/09/2026 18:51

Maybe I am missing something but can we be helped with crazy ex's. Ok, you may not want the drama of someone with one, but they cant help it!

He told his ex that the Op worked part time and didn’t own her own house
he bailed on the concert that he was taking this OP because his ex kicked up a fuss

He LOVED the drama