Why some women are attracted to difficult men/players in relationships

[OMGDidYouSayThat]

Just a thread to explore the Psychology behind why women love a bastard...

Is it excitement because of the twists and turns?
Is it because it's a project to fix?
Is it because others are attracted to them?

Interested to hear everyone's views on the subject as i can't work out why someone would go into a relationship with someone they knew was going to be a nightmare to handle...

Yeah i guess you where in a word a responsible ‘fuck boy’ which i guess at least shows some respect for women, the guy in question isn’t what you’d call intellectual so maybe he just picks up what he can get, when he can get it using basic love bombing tactics and the women are just falling for it because they are bored or neglected at home then accidentally falling pregnant. Who knows but it’s odd that they seem happy.

Personally in a friendship group where you get a ‘floating banger’ the one that’s been through all your friends, you know the one, can be male of female they are the least attractive prospect in my eyes. Sex that comes easy is the most boring

In that case, women are their own worst enemies. I think I know what you mean. Some years ago I was at a party where there was a very good looking actor. I watched while woman after woman flocked around him, flirting, laughing at nothing, hanging on to his every word with no idea of their own fawning behaviour or the existence of the other women. And they were all in a group around him. I suddenly thought why are they like that and I'm not? I couldn't imagine lowering myself like that or accepting being one of a mindless herd. What does that make me?

The answer to your question is it makes you individual and desirable, i think most of the human race pretty much falls into one of 2 categories, those that follow and those that lead.

I’ve heard it described as ‘line cook energy’, meaning a charismatic, chaotic, yet sexually competent dirtbag.

Conversely there is the hot but crazy woman, that will ruin both your life and your credit score.

Responsible fuck boy is almost an oxymoron but I suppose I was never reckless.

I am just amazed this guy doesn’t have the sense not to get women pregnant. It’s a huge responsibility and unfair on the kids in a way.

In my 20s I had many friendship circles and scenes so I didn’t get too much overlap. But women knew what I was looking for. Crazy days indeed.

And yes, the chase, the build up, the tension and waiting makes for more fun in the bedroom. As does being completely sober.

If you were completely sober, you would have been a rarity indeed.

Some women are attracted to fame and power along with confidence. It’s as old as time and explains the phenomenon of unattractive male celebs bedding attractive women.

I am not sure what it makes you but perhaps someone who is more strong willed and able to see beyond the guise of fame and power.

Back then unlikely on the first time but subsequently, I would often enjoy a post tipple to savour the moment.

At least you did @PrincessFairyWren Figure out what the problem was that is.

I hope so @Formerbadboy rather than being a complete outlier. When I think of fame and power, I just see trouble. Give me anonymity - enough to have a jolly nice life with but not so much people start putting the lens on you.

I am similar to you. When I see guys like that I just see walking STD's. I have always been attracted by geeky/nerdy types though and never had a famous crush growing up like a lot of my friends. It's just packaging.

Fascinating post.

it’s because women are trained to be more competitive than men. Yes, you read that right. It’s women who dictate relationships, from being predatory and showing interest so men see the green light and can’t help themselves.

They see a bastard and think they are better than the hundreds of women before them, so they think the previous sad saps women weren’t as good in bed as moi. Then the bastard men oops, cheats on new woman. She’s yet another statistic.

it’s just ego. The woman thinks she can turnaround the player because she’s got more than the thousands of previous women who got cheated on.

Plus, these women go with what feels familiar. If their dad was a cheater, dating a cheater feels “familiar”

most people date similar to what they previously dated, so if they always dated bad boys, they keep on going for more of the same. It’s a habit they can’t stop, despite everyone telling them their partner is bad news.

@Nicewoman Yes i see your point, also if you scan through the posts on MN you do tend to see a pattern where women are being treated really badly by their partners, in some cases verbal abuse, physical abuse, even rape and they still want to try and make those relationships work, and in most cases they feel guilty like it’s their fault and they asked to be treated that way. Sad world we live in. Just a question, do you think women have always been that competitive or do you think it’s a generation thing?

The women are usually being told by the bastard that they are better than all his exes. They are the ones making her think she might change him but she is never quite good enough and is always the one who makes some minor mistake that means he can't trust her and this is when the phrase "but if you loved me unconditionally...." comes into play for these men.
Women are easy to fool because it is only since the internet we've let each other in on the secret that these men say the same things to every woman. It is nature to be flattered and not assume someone being nice to you is lying.

No, I don’t think it’s generational and I don’t think it’s nationality, etc other factors.

its women driving the relationships from who they date, when they have kids, how many kids, where the family lives, what they eat, how they socialise. The lot.

You meet all these women and think honestly think:

1. they are different from all the rest.
2. it won’t happen to me.
3. They are special and unique and they (as a woman) have more to offer than all the other women that have come before them. So cheating etc, won’t happen to me, because they are better looking, younger, better in bed, more intelligent, more talent, better background etc. then fast forward and the women is being cheated on.

example: I have a guy friend, aged 50. Serial cheater, kids with random women all over the place. Good-looking, intelligent, money. However, a Narc.

He’s been with about 400 women. Always cheats, lies, he can’t hold down a relationship.

He’s always banging 20-30 years olds. He thinks he’s living the dream. But so many women come into his life, all the love bombing. Then he gets bored and needs new flesh. So much game-playing going on.

You would absolutely think women could see red flags a mile away: kids from one night stands, endless lies & gaslighting, evasive behaviour.

Honestly, these women should know better, but they think they are the best/better than all the rest. They arrogantly think I’m so young and pretty & doing porn style sex, he would never cheat on me. Little do they realise he has at any one time about 10 women on the go and is just feeding them a constant pack of lies all the time.

About 3 months in, they realise they’re with a giant Narc and have a blazing row accusing him of blah blah, little do they realise they are the 508th woman who has come out with exactly the same BIG YAWN comments.

Oh, and he can’t remember about 100 of the 500 women he’s slept with. Thats how memorable your porn style sex was. He can’t even remember you or your sex.