What stories do you have of silly accusations your ex partner made against you?

[LilacReader]

So, I've been reading a thread recently whereby a young lady was devastated that her boyfriend had dumped her and it was slowly coming out that he was a walking red-flag. I think since typing the 'problem' out she came to the realisation that he was a nasty narcissistic who made her feel like he was doing her a favour by staying with her. Some of her stories were horrible and some really dumb.
This got me thinking about my past marriage and silly little things that I was accused of - probably a reflection of his own awful behaviour and wanted to hear similar stories.

Silly story 1: I was in my bathroom before work and noticed that the dust had built up behind the linen bin. I moved it to the middle of the floor to remind me to clean when I returned. Later in the day my ex-h went home, saw this and came raging back into the office (I worked with him) to accuse me of moving it out of the way so I could perv out of the window at the young boy of maybe 18/19 who lived next door! (I'm in my 50s)

Any silly stories to tell?

With a nasty ex of mine, I used to work some Saturdays and started at 6am. He'd complain I was waking him up too early so I said I'd stay at home Fridays instead so I didn't wake him, I got the silent treatment for several days because I clearly didn't want to spend time with him. One of many things he did, lots of accusations of cheating too. The man was absolute head fuck

Changed my username to comment as it’s outing but he accused me of killing his hamster. He repeatedly left me over a couple of years and when I refused to take him back the last time he stormed off leaving his hamster. I don’t mind telling you this hamster stressed me out- it constantly escaped it’s cage/ bit me etc and I was navigating a full time job with a horrible commute, a 2yo child and him being an absolute arsehole to me post break up. In the end I got desperate and put a padlock on the cage which stopped it from escaping but I made it very clear he needed to take the hamster the next time he picked up my daughter. I made sure the hamster had food, water and was cleaned out weekly. We’d gone away to my mums for a weekend and arrived home just as he came to pick up my girl. He was being vile as usual so I told him I was done with this and he could take his hamster too. Picked up the cage and dead hamster slid across the cage bottom which led to him losing his shit that id killed it on purpose.

I dated someone for a couple of weeks. One day I had a quarterly sales meeting that would start at 6pm, ran usually until 7.30pm, then the boss would order some pizzas & soft drinks to share before we all went home.

I told newish boyfriend this in advance. Then rang him at 5.45 to say " sales meeting starting soon, see you later". I'd given him a key and he had said he would come over at about 10pm.

All went to plan, arrived home to find new boyfriend running around my house, head in hands, screaming "where have you been?"

Bit odd !

I said "sales meeting" and went to make a drink. Boyfriend said "you should have been home hours ago". Errr. no.

I hate fuss, and getting annoyed, I pointed out I'd told him it would run late and I'd be home at 10. I made myself a drink and headed for the stairs when he said "where are you going?" Now really pissed off, I said I'd done a 15 hour day, I was tired and I was going to bed.

And he said......"but I haven't had anything to eat yet" ...like he expected me to cook for him. I handed him the take away menu, he exploded and I showed him the door.

I don't think so! I am not some mother-replacement for a 40yo drama llama.🙄 He can make his own flippin' supper. 😁

good LORD!

Gosh, nothing fortunately. This thread is eye-opening.

Accused me of ruining Boxing Day by falling asleep on the sofa (briefly) after tea. Apparently that’s why we had to leave his relatives house early as everyone was appalled and I’d ruined the day (I didn’t know we left early).
His relative phoned him the next day upset and wondered what on earth had happened.
I thought we’d had a perfectly nice day where I’d helped out with food and clearing up, chatted to everyone and it was all civilised.
But no, I was the devil for having a nap.
No one in their family has ever done that.
I left him, obviously.

At least I've never killed anyone's hamster 😂

When we were getting divorced but still having to live in the same house he very smugly informed me one day that I would be going to prison. This was because he had been to the police and told them that, about 15 years previously when he'd been unemployed, a giro that he had reported stolen had been signed and cashed by me. (It hadn't.)

I don't suppose it will surprise anyone to hear that the police never contacted me. They didn't contact me when he reported to them that I was involved with the "drug dealers" next door either, which was just my single parent friend and her two children. I think they must have had him down as a deranged nutjob and if they did then they certainly had the measure of him!

Well,my ex accused me of shagging anyone who moved,including but not limited to my own father

Another ex-we'd broken up,(he was an abusive bastard) and I never wanted to see his arsehole face again

He moved back with mummy (who didn't want him either) but the side of her house faced mine (bit of an odd layout of streets)

Anyway,I lived in York and he claimed he was going to go see granny and grandad who lived near hull

Off he went and I spent the whole weekend at home (this was the Friday to sunday)

Didn't give this a thought until he banged my door down and screamed at me because I didn't leave the house

He'd wanted to stalk me to see who I was banging but I foiled that so he'd spent 3 days hanging around the end of my street/hanging out of his mother's landing window to see who'd I'd had round (nobody which pissed him off even more)

Same bloke hid a key to my house in my shed and broken in at 3am (with a knife) ready to batter the bloke who was in bed with me

I was on my own and snoring away to suddenly woke to him on top of me with a huge carving knife in my face

Police didn't want to know (this was about 1999) and his family treated this as 'normal'

Best laugh is (which isnt funny),he'd been shagging (read,abusing) a 14 year old girl behind my back and got her pregnant (after claiming it was me that had been shagging about)

She had his baby and he moved on to another young girl (and another,and another etc until he got into trouble for drug dealing and went to prison came out and started up with a 15 year old)

I'm now with an amazing bloke who wouldn't dream of acting like this

I aparently hatched a plan with my then 3 week old baby to bully ex out of the family by encouraging the baby to pee on him during nappy changes.

That I somehow hacked his Whatsapp and deleted all conversations related to a property we were in dispute over. And that I was trying to hack into his bank account. He made these accusations via his lawyers.

I kid you not!

The ex i had two dc with

He only went for contact to punish me for ending it

He finally stopped showing up and I got a court order to stop his parental rights as it was making me ill and no good for the kids

Anyway,didn't hear anything from him until dd was an adult

He got wind that she was going away,on holiday abroad with her long term boyfriend

He messaged me (not her) on either fb or insta demanding I take her passport away and cancel her holiday 'or else ill make sure she cant go!ill take this to the highest court'!

Dd (at the time) was 27 (she's now 30-he hadnt seen her since she was 2)

And he'd just got back from his own holiday abroad! (bought with the csa money he refused to pay for them)

Gave us a good laugh at the time

She went away and had a lovely time

Dear god some of these men sound really mentally ill.

Accused my parents and me of deliberately conspiring against him by having my birthday when it was (just after a festival he particularly liked to go to), because it meant he had to buy me a present, and therefore had less money to spend on cannabis.

My ex said all sorts of things in our divorce papers. I divorced him because of his porn addiction and because he had secretly filmed me using hidden cameras.

He had a real issue with understanding the difference between reality and fantasy, and the things he put in the divorce papers really brought that home to me.

For example, he claimed that I had lied and told our neighbour, who was also a good friend of mine, that he had secretly been filming her too. This made absolutely no sense to either of us because no such conversation ever happened. And even if it had, how on earth would he have known about a private conversation between the two of us? If anything it make us then wonder if he had!

He also made other claims about things that supposedly happened involving our friends, which simply hadn't happened at all.

It was quite disturbing to read, particularly because he'd actually written these things down in a legal document. It made me realise just how detached from reality he seemed to be, because I genuinely believe he thought some of these things had happened when they hadn't.

Reading it all just made me even more relieved that we were getting divorced to be honest. Thankfully we didn't have children together.

It was about 6 months in, everything had been perfect and I was crazy about him. Was getting to know him and feeling he knew and understood me- we’d had long chats about how we are as people, so I’d told him already that I don’t experience sexual attraction without emotional connection and had been single and celibate for over 5 years, hadn’t met anyone I liked. So he invited me onto a zoom, which was on a topic I’m really interested in. So I logged in and was listening to the speaker talking to someone else answering a question. I was in my fleece jumper, hair up, no makeup, not attempting to impress. Didn’t say a word for the whole zoom, speaker didn’t acknowldge me etc.
After the zoom, I get messages from him “you loved that didn’t you, I saw how close you were sitting to the camera and I saw you smiling”
I said yes it was great, really good topic thanks for inviting me. To then hear him say “you liked him didn’t you, you were attracted to him” and me flabbergasted, “ummm no, wow why would you even think that, I don’t even know the guy” cue hours of ranting back and forth texts about the guy being attractive (he wasn’t, wasn’t ugly but nothing special and certainly not to me) me utterly confused, and menst to have a date with him the following day. Got abour 3hrs sleep and was so confused the next day meeting with him, but no apologies at all.

and so, that was the beginning of his descent into who he really was, narcissist, liar, cheat, false accuser, head messer, constantly breaking up with me, blurred boundaries with other woman, and surprise surprise an acknowledgement that he was constantly being sexually attracted to women at first sight, and tempted - unfortunately when that accusation happened I believed he was maybe just deeply insecure and needed more reassurance - but no, it was projection becasue of how he was as a person. He constantly referenced that guy every time we had an argument also.

Thank God we eventually broke up, it got so bad, with all the above plus porn, not being able to be intimate without porn etc, awful man, red flags are real, so glad I haven’t seen or heard from that guy in many years

Meeting a big group for a drink and walk into a packed pub with boyfriend behind me. I’m scanning the room to look for our group and spot one (his workmate). I give him a big grin and a wave and head towards the group. Boyfriend sulked all night because I was overly friendly/flirtatious in my greeting. I smiled and waved. I smiled and waved. Waved goodbye to the boyfriend soon after.

At the time of this incident, my ex, my husband at the time and I had a five year old and a 6 month old. He went to the doctor with burning pee. When there and days before the lab results came back, the dumb doctor said it sounded like an STD. So my ex came home with rage in his eyes, asking me what I'd been doing while he was at work and I was home. For one thing, I'd always been faithful. And I was like a walking zombie because my infant was the worst sleeper, I was breastfeeding, wasn't really interested in sex at that point with my husband though did it anyway, so certainly wasn't lusting after any random man and inviting him in. Craziness and abusiveness.

Of course the lab results just showed a urinary tract infection.

Sleeping with my (gay, out, in a relationship) colleague and friend, on a school residential.
Our baby I lost in an ectopic pregnancy actually being my bosses not his.
Cheating because I went for a bikini wax before a holiday.
Cheating because I missed a train.
Having a severe mental illness because his psychological abuse drove me to thoughts of self harm.

I genuinely have no idea where to start.

Biggest, probably that he had 18 months left to live…superseded by him telling the police I’d been tampering with his medication resulting in my arrest at 4.30am (just clarify, I did not tamper with his medication).

He thought I was cheating because when he went away the shower head was moved and it was obviously for someone taller….i hadn’t actually moved the shower head….

I’ve heard of child geniuses but your newborn was clearly born a member of Mensa 😉

Was constantly accused of cheating but he was the one that was actually cheating.

My newborn was a full on evil genius. Poor bullied ex took himself off to sleep on the sofa because the baby was so mean to him, and I was unfairly ganging up on him by taking babies side.