What stories do you have of silly accusations your ex partner made against you?

[LilacReader]

So, I've been reading a thread recently whereby a young lady was devastated that her boyfriend had dumped her and it was slowly coming out that he was a walking red-flag. I think since typing the 'problem' out she came to the realisation that he was a nasty narcissistic who made her feel like he was doing her a favour by staying with her. Some of her stories were horrible and some really dumb.
This got me thinking about my past marriage and silly little things that I was accused of - probably a reflection of his own awful behaviour and wanted to hear similar stories.

Silly story 1: I was in my bathroom before work and noticed that the dust had built up behind the linen bin. I moved it to the middle of the floor to remind me to clean when I returned. Later in the day my ex-h went home, saw this and came raging back into the office (I worked with him) to accuse me of moving it out of the way so I could perv out of the window at the young boy of maybe 18/19 who lived next door! (I'm in my 50s)

Any silly stories to tell?

Loads after the split - sometimes to my face, often to others though... the best one...

"She is the reason we split up"... she told someone about my partner.

Which I cant understand as we split in Feb, she moved out with a lump sum in April and I only started speaking to this person in late June and met with in July!!
But then she used the gaslighting and narc card with me many a time!

He gave me the silent treatment. Made him drive to the pub so it was my fault he could only have 1 pint. I was on a work meeting. It was 4pm. Pub was 10 mins walk.

got the silent treatment again as I didn’t give him a kiss when I went drove him to the pub as Murray bent got stuck.

went to the pub with him and invaded his place and embarrassed him when I was there.

went in a mood as he texted me to say he was off to the pub. My text was have a great night see you later. I was being controlling.

shouted at me for answering the door to a random guy who was accusing him of texting his girlfriend flirty messages. I shouldn’t of answered the door

dumped me when I secretly bought a house and told him I was moving out that day. Guessed I deserved that one

Accused me of being jealous that he was a good dad to his kids.,..
Not sure of the rationale behind that one, my kids have got a dad they see more than he sees his.
Accused me of having a problem with/ being funny about his kids mum.

Claimed every man I’ve ever been with has hit me/beat me up.
No man has ever hit me except for him which he said was an accident at the time but now I wonder about, very strange fantasy to have.

I think he was projecting a lot from his own failings and previous relationships onto me,
the hitting comment I actually reminded him of my name and who I am because it was so incorrect it was like he was talking about someone else.
I left him and then he accused me of abusing him the whole time and slagging his family off.
Couldnt give any examples of my abuse or to who or what id ever said bad about his family.
Very strange man.

Christ. Some of these are a bit dark and creepy, so one that is a bit lighter...

Different date. We had gone on a gourmet champagne tasting weekend to France involving visits to vineyards and a seven course lunch with champagnes to match each course. It was March and northern France was absolutely freezing.

We had our huge lunch in a beautiful chateau, which took several hours, and then returned to our hotel about 5pm. I'd drunk a tiny glass of champagne with each course so was full of food, mellow from the wine, relaxed, happy.

Date wanted to go for a walk - in the dark & cold - so I said I was going to have a snooze and would see him later. He erupted. Said he wanted us to go for a walk and he hadn't brought me on a weekend just so I could get pissed and fat. 😯

Surely, the whole point of a gourmet champagne banquet is to drink champagne, eat lovely food and relax, not hike around the french countryside in the dark and sleet. And I was neither drunk nor fat.

Some men are just strange. 😁

Wow, at least now I can see it wasn't just my daft ex who had completely lost it - thanks for all your stories so far, please keep them coming.
I remember being about 8 months pregnant and attending a wedding. I was standing at the bar with him and he told me off for staring at the barman. I admit he was correct, I was - but i really really wanted a drink!!!!. I got proper told off!
Its funny, in this case and all the ones ive read, generally these stories always stem from it being the accusers who are cheating/has cheated!

When I finally ended my relationship with the nasty bastard I started seeing another guy about 6 weeks after, we were walking down the street and passed one of ex's best mates. I said hello but thought nothing of it. 10 mins later my ex is running down the street after us asking what the fuck I was doing. He clearly didn't think we'd actually split up despite us not talking for weeks and me telling him I'd rather not see him again thanks you nasty piece of....anyway he got told where to go...again

Could honestly write a whole thread on this guy

After my brief traumatic marriage to my RAF husband, (during which he had accused me of being unfaithful in the first month together after checking my underwear in the laundry basket!) I remained in married quarters briefly whilst he moved back into barracks.
He accused me of being unfaithful, despite the fact we were properly separated, after one of his mates had seen a guy walking me home from the camp Thursday evening bop!
Ridiculous!

The week after however lol

So many...exh is a bit of a loop the loop.

When we split up he sent me ranting texts accusing me of stealing his car. I was hundreds of miles away with my parents because he'd locked me out of our house. He knew this. Turned out he rang the police to report it and as he was giving a statement he remembered that he'd parked it at the shop, forgotten and walked home. He looked out the window later and assumed it had been stolen from the drive. There's no words, are there? 😂

Reminds me of this 🤭

How long did he think hamsters live?

I’ve thought of an example mine gave as evidence of my abuse of him.
He accused me of accusing him of cheating.
I had never accused him of cheating or ever even implied I thought he had or would cheat.
He just completely made it up.
why?
I left him because he was a lazy bastard who didn’t want to make any effort to do the things required to maintain a relationship, I knew he wasn’t trying to have 2 relationships, he couldn’t be bothered.

Was convinced I was cheating constantly, obviously had multiple issues but a true narcissist at the core. Paranoid, grandiose, image-obsessed, control freak, completely out of touch with reality. Even his own mother warned me he was narcissistic and delusional.

XDH reversed his shiny new penis extension into the huge bright yellow skip on my drive. Apparently it was my fault he didn't notice the skip and he needed my insurance details so he could claim against me.

One afternoon I was on a Teams call when the door bell rung. I got up and went to see who it is; two teenage boys (12-13 years old) were standing there with a box of cookies. I apologised quickly and said I was on a call but if they had time they could come back in an hour to see what they wanted.

Got back to the call, and when it finished I went to the kitchen to grab a drink. My husband was there and we started talking. I told him that the boys came around before but I was on a call and I couldn't see what they wanted. I said that I assume they were selling cookies and wondered what they are raising money for. Off I went to get some cash and leave by the door for when they are back.

An hour or two later, my husband started screaming at me because apparently I am aroused by teenage boys, and I am willing to spend our whole fortune buying cookies because I am interested in having sex with them 😯This was triggered by me looking at a group of teenage boys in sport uniforms outside the services and wondering out loud if they are part of a basketball team.... Apparently, I was staring at the 15-year-old boys, lusting over them and I couldn't take my eyes off of them right in front of our 10 year old son and our 7 year old daughter....

I have also been accused of buying a clitoral stimulator in order to use with multiple men (dude, if my affair partner cannot make me cum the traditional way, what's the point of having an affair?!), that I used said sex toy with my female best friend, or my very obviously gay male massage therapist on our living room while he is in the kitchen making lunch. Lastly, apparently he knows better than me how many times or how frequently I have had sex with my ex-boyfriend (only relationship before him which ended before we got together 13 years ago). Can't seem to comprehend how inappropriate it is to ask me such thing, or why I keep saying that it's not his business!!! He feels sorry that he chose me even though I was not a virgin; good luck with that mate at your 40s!

Hopefully, he is a very-soon-to-be ex husband. The day the door of my house will close behind him will be the happiest day of my life. 😅

That because I didn't want to have sex with him that I must be shagging the entire local town instead 🤷‍♀️

One guy flooded my house twice by running a bath and forgetting about it. Water poured through the ceiling through two whole floors! When he was banned from my house over this he argued that it was our fault because the overflow on the bath tub should have stopped or overflowing?!

He then tried to kick me out of his house for no reason in retaliation while I was cooking him dinner. I thought he was joking when he screamed at me 'get out!' out of the blue. So he grabbed me by my legs and dragged me out of the room, catching my legs round a door frame and pulling as hard as he could while I screamed. Until he tore the ligament in my knee.
At hospital they said they'd only ever seen this injury on Rugby players. I was in a full leg cast for about 2 months.

To be fair the hamster was young- maybe about 6 months but I swear to god there was something wrong with it from the start. I grew up with hamsters and I’ve never had one like this. It was horrible, completely impossible to tame.

I do, however, promise I didn’t kill it! Our daughter is 15 now and he still tells her I’m a hamster murderer 🤦🏼‍♀️

Classic. I had this one too

After we broke up after a 20 year marriage I apparently "stole" all of our joint friends. I think most of these "joint" friends were my friends first and after exh cheated and I divorced him they chose to remain friends with me but not with exh so much. This is apparently all my fault.

Went to his friends house crying saying i was stopping him seeing the children "again" friends bumped into me at the supermarket they were grabbing extra food (and tissues) and were puzzled why i was there shopping instead of "out with my new boyfriend" I laughed i had no boyfriend i showed them the message from my ex claiming he had a migraine and couldn't see them that day the pappy went back and called him out about it he didn't drop in for sunday lunch again for awhile

Accused me of alienating the kids against him by taking them out for fun on my day off work because "i knew he couldn't afford to do the same" parks and picnics were out of his price range apparently

I had to give reasons why I wanted a divorce one of them was that he was engaged to someone else he agreed he was engaged but didn't see it as a reason why we should get divorced

Told his then fiance that I was begging him for sex infront of the children when he was trying to drop them off I got my then partner to answer the door instead and a ring doorbell he was PISSED

After we split he told everyone the kids weren't his but he signed the papers anyway because he was such a great guy so I did an ancestry DNA test and they matched with his relatives 😂

Mine-amongst many other examples, started divorce proceedings claiming adultery when he had a long term partner through out our marriage leading a double life! Oh and they went to the police and accused me of stealing his work van and tools. Said van had been abandoned on our driveway for 18 months with the doors left open and the only things in it were McDonald’s wrappers…. I had it scrapped and got 120 for it which I listed in the divorce paperwork. But the police carted me off in a police car and I was really wondering how my life had sunk this low when the Sergeant dismissed it saying husbands and wives couldn’t steal from each other! And apparently I had three men on the go at once….🙄

Accused me of cheating because he’d opened google maps on my phone to use in the car & a random address had a pin on it, that I’d never been to before. I must of pressed it by accident last time I used it. He didn’t believe me when I told him how ridiculous he was being. I had to explain myself for hours on that one.

If I changed my hair or wore extra make up to work, I was trying to cheat.
If I chatted to a similar aged man, I was trying to cheat.
If a good looking man was on the TV, I was trying to cheat.
He asked about my previous partners a lot.

I was so young & naive back then, I agreed to marry him! & a few months before the wedding he left me for someone at work & got her pregnant within 3 months.

Talk about having double standards!

I’ve had such a lucky escape & now found a really decent man.

I feel very stupid for allowing someone to treat me like that.

Dragged me by my hair through a wedding reception because I accidentally slipped on the dance floor and grabbed the nearest person to me that happened to be a man. Loads of people saw. He took me outside grabbed my phone and went though if while calling me a whore etc. found nothing smashed my phone up and grabbed my face and shoved my head into a chair of the seating area. Someone called the police and when he was arrested he got let out after a night in the cells because even though I gave a statement (I hadn’t had one drink as he didn’t like women drinking) he told the police I had bipolar and everyone at the wedding was too scared to say anything so he got away with it. He made me call people from the wedding and apologise to them for my behaviour .We broke up but he wrote all over social media about me and my bipolar . he did go on to a long term relationship with someone else who he beat up and he went to jail for 3 years later.

I can confirm I do not have bipolar

You gave someone the keys to your house who had been dating for 2 weeks, told them to let themselves in and wait for you there for several hours. 😱

Allowing a complete stranger access to your home, aside, what sort of evening was that? Why even bother telling him to come over and why didn't you arrange to see him another day.