How long would you keep dating someone who you feel is not quite right for you?

[Savvysue3]

Trying to find the right way to explain how I am feeling here.
i guess my question is how long would you ‘date’ someone when you have a feeling they are not really the one for you but also are nice and kind etc
im dating a guy for around 8 months, for many reasons I feel we are not compatible in the long run and I also feel by this stage my feelings should have grown more towards loving them and they haven’t.
but he’s nice company, the sex is good etc
do I just call it a day now as I’m sure this won’t be a long term thing? We haven’t talked massively about our feelings and the future but I’m impression is that he thinks this is ‘it’ for him.

why is ‘date’ in quotes? Answer would be end politely tomorrow

Following! I have no advice but I’m dating someone new, been around 6 weeks & he’s so lovely. But I’m just not feeling it. It’s also scary because on paper he’s perfect and I’m scared of throwing a good guy away when I know they’re hard to find. I do know the answer for you (and for me) is to just end it though

I once gave someone about eight dates, but only because he was nice, gentlemanly and he was good looking but I couldn’t work out if I actually fancied him. Ultimately the opportunity came up to travel and I broke up with him and he wanted to just put a pin in it till I got back but I didn’t want to be tied down incase I met a cute guy whilst travelling so I ended it clearly.

So figure that’s actually a good test -
If you went travelling for a few months and met a really hot man who you got on with, would you want to snog him? Or would you feel too guilty because you’d been seeing this other guy back home? And would that make you feel smothered? If so, probably worth cutting him loose.

Generally I don’t go on more than two dates with someone I’m not sure on. If by the end of date two I still don’t feel much attraction, I call it a day.

Plus I think if you’re still questioning it even after sleeping together he’s definitely not the one for you.

Interesting question. I think that’s quite a long time if you know deep down you aren’t feeling it. I went on 4 dates with someone last year as I was willing myself to feel more because he was lovely, a gentleman and we had a good laugh. But I couldn’t progress things beyond that. It didn’t feel right.

Well, since the dick is good, I will let you off keeping it going for 8 months!

End it now though, life is too short for both of you x

Wtf! 8 months? Insane

I was in a similar situation when I was about 20 years old. I let it continue on far too long when I knew he wasn't the right person long-term for me.

As some people have already said, 'on paper' he was ideal but I just didn't feel the same. He was in the Police and I expected it to fizzle out naturally due to his shifts, so I let it continue on.

In the end I had to end it as one of his friends had told one of my friends he was planning on asking me to get engaged. I had no idea things were that serious on his part. He was a nice guy but ultimately just not for me.

So, I would advise you to end it sooner rather than later.

I later met the love of my life at 25 years old and instantly had all the 'firework' feelings for him. If anyone had asked me about my feelings after a few dates with him, I would have said "I'm going to marry this man" - and I did.

I strongly believe that 'when you know, you know'.

You need to end it. I married a nice man but, truthfully, didn’t ’feel it’ - I was young and naive. We ended up in a sexless marriage (of many years) and I felt lonely etc. (even though the sexless marriage was my doing). I ended the marriage after 23 years. I think menopause, and a few losses in my life, pushed me to do something.

I met someone else at 45 who absolutely took my breath away (still does) and who I adore and fancy like crazy. We are so connected and compatible in many ways. I just wish I had had the sense not to marry my ex and admit, at the time, that he wasn’t the one. I think what I learned was, ‘don’t light a fire to keep someone else warm’!

You're being really unfair to him unless he knows how you feel about him and feels the same way. You've already wasted eight months of his life when he could have been meeting someone who was perfect for him. Don't waste any more.

Never settle for second best to your dream relationship

A couple of dates?