Do you think it’s likely to happen?

[thenoetel]

I am meeting a guy next Monday bank holiday for our 3rd date. He has suggested a wine and cheese evening with a walk near his house. We get on well and text each other a fair bit. Does this mean that sex is likely to happen or am I getting the wrong idea?

posting another thread because the other only got one reply

Yes, guys like sex a lot. We don’t do the emotional ‘must be third date or more stuff.’

Most guys are ready to go from the start. It’s hard wired into us. We don’t overthink it.

I feel like I should be the voice of reason here as there have been some questionable posts. If you are going to pack a toothbrush, overnight bag etc. remember, you don't know him well at all. A friend of mine always pack a can of bear repellent which Amazon have for 8.99. It may seem daft but I promise it is better to be safe then sorry

You'd fall for someone after 5 dates ? Really?
Do you read Mills & Boon in your spare time ?

I would agree with all that.
Why on earth would any intelligent girl go to a guy's house when she hardly knows him and could be very vulnerable?

Don't be silly. Have you READ posts on here where the posters are convinced they are in love after a week? There's millions of them.

I'm not sure I understand what this means "We don’t overthink it.".

Are you saying that you don't think about contraception, STDs or whether the woman is agreeable or not to what you want?

Well I haven't seen any, so I must be on the wrong forum !
And I seriously doubt there are millions of women who are so ditzy.

Bless you OP, how would we know?

I mean, on the balance of probability, yes. Man meets woman he’s attracted to generally equals man would like to have sex.

Do you want to have sex with him? That’s the important question.

If he’s half decent, he won’t be making any assumptions about what might happen.

Of course not, for any sane guy that’s a given. Don’t misinterpret my comment as recklessness.

It’s what I said, there is no thought about waiting to third, fourth dates etc.

Guys, mostly, think about sex completely different to women.

Yes!

🤣

That's interesting, but I'm still none the wiser.

I guess it reinforces the old adage about men "not looking at the mantelpiece when poking the fire" ?

Because that's where the sex happens?

That's not what he meant? Men just don't have rules or expectations about waiting for sex. If they like/are attracted to you they will generally be up for sex at any point.

A guy doesn’t need a long time to assess if he’s sexually attracted to a woman. It is pretty much instant. So if they go on to have sex, if he’s even half decent in bed, he will be very much looking at the mantlepiece while he is poking her fire.

I don't know what he meant, hence the question.

Ive asked my DP about this and he kinda agreed, very broadly.
He did chuckle and said about when we met so in that context I do kinda get it

He might not be making any assumptions, but that doesn't mean he won't be hopeful.

If you're not ready, OP, then you're not ready. If that's the case I wouldn't go to his house. The third date is seen by a lot as the time when something happens - get yourself out of that situation by saying you want to go somewhere different. If he doesn't take that well, dump him.

@thenoetel
Remember YOU don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

That includes sex or going to his house for cheese and wine. YOU can choose where you go and what you do.

You don’t know him so do not feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do.

Hope there is no stilton - stinks the place out! Suggest some non-stinky cheese so you can chat/do whatever/have sex for hours without needing gas masks.

He is likely to be hoping for sex. What are you hoping for?

Exactly, all guys know this.

That being said, who doesn’t love the thrill of the build up with multiple dates, suggestive language and not quite knowing when it’s going to happen.

All part of the fun.

Sex doesn't just 'happen', doesn't it, you decide to do it. It's something you have control over.