DP back on Grinder app

[anonn123]

Some time ago I found out that my DP was using an app called Grinder... It's a gay app for anyone that doesn't know. he promised to come off it and to never download it again. It took me some time but I forgave and moved on from it but last night I checked his phone not sure why I did but I guess my guy feeling has been off and he's back on the grinder app but only this time he has been exchanging explicit images there is atleast two men he has been meeting up with.

I feel betrayed and like my DP doesn't love me, is he gay ? We have an active sex life so I don't understand.

When I questioned him the first time he said he was just looking nothing else. I haven't mentioned anything to him yet but I plan on doing this evening but I now feel our relationship is over as I can't forgive a second time but maybe that's what he wants so he can hook up with men

Hes at very least bisexual but I think the point is the lies and cheating. It would be over for me. Im so sorry.

Best to leave him.

Probably bi or pan.

Certainly a lying, cheating dickhead.

Leave him, he clearly can’t be trusted. It doesn’t matter if he is gay or bisexual, it matters that he is unfaithful.

I agree he's very possibly just bi, but lies aren't on no matter his sexuality.

If he's bi why would be not just tell you?

Agree with Amber. The point is he has lied to you on lots of levels here. He saw he got away with it before and has decided it was worth the risk again. You can not trust him going forward. Time to exit stage right I’m afraid.

He’s cheating and will always cheat. Just leave.

He’s lied, he could be bi-sexual, get an STI test and leave him.

Does it matter what sex the people he is messaging are? Or what his sexuality is? ( I'd suggested his sexuality is "greedy")

Surely the main problem is he is betraying and disrespecting you, and when he says he'll stop, he's lying.

Cheating’s cheating at the end of the day

Time to exit. He’s sleeping with men and your life is a lie.

He's gay or bi, up to you whether you decide if that's acceptable in your relationship or not, some people are happy with non conventional setups and some are not. The fact he hasn't discussed something so big with you is more of a concern, i don't think most people wake up one day and decide to be gay or bi-sexual, i think it's probably always been there.

Grindr is a hookup app- nobody is on there just to chat to people.

His sexuality isn't the issue here.

"gives me the ick just thinking what they physically do"- I assume you didn't mean to sound so homphobic?

Married? Kids? Mortgage? Whats keeping you.

You sound very nieve OP. If hes not gay, at the very least he is bisexual. Hes not on this app just to look or chat. He is actively seeking a sexual relationship with man.

He wont change, he'll just keep lying as long as you are willing to accept it. End this relationship and get an sti test.

This is bait surely.

That’s what I thought. Nobody could be this daft.

Erm yeah he's into men. At least he must be Bi. But that's almost beside the point as he seems to think going on hook up apps is acceptable during a monogamous relationship. So that alone is a deal breaker. Regardless of the sex of people he's trying to shag.

It sounds like you want different things. He is not being honest with you which leaves you on the backfoot.

He’s cheating on you. Find your anger! He doesn’t deserve you. Of course he’s bi/gay.

I have a few gay friends and they’ve said that married or men in heterosexual relationships will often pop up on Grindr, for a hook up. One acquaintance regularly met a married father of three for quick encounters. It happens

I honestly wouldn’t be questioning him tonight

id just focus on getting your shit together and leaving. You don’t need to confront him, you’ve seen the evidence with your own eyes.

do you live together? Are there children? Do you know where to get tested for std’s?

come on OP. Put your big girl pants on and be done with him.

It doesn't matter whether he's gay or not. It would make no difference to what he's actually doing whether the app he was on was Tinder or Grindr or whatever.

Either way, he's cheating on you Again. You leave him.

He might be gay, he might be bisexual. You'll never really know. What you do know is he's a cheating, lying dickhead. And that's all the information you actually need.