DP back on Grinder app

[anonn123]

Some time ago I found out that my DP was using an app called Grinder... It's a gay app for anyone that doesn't know. he promised to come off it and to never download it again. It took me some time but I forgave and moved on from it but last night I checked his phone not sure why I did but I guess my guy feeling has been off and he's back on the grinder app but only this time he has been exchanging explicit images there is atleast two men he has been meeting up with.

I feel betrayed and like my DP doesn't love me, is he gay ? We have an active sex life so I don't understand.

When I questioned him the first time he said he was just looking nothing else. I haven't mentioned anything to him yet but I plan on doing this evening but I now feel our relationship is over as I can't forgive a second time but maybe that's what he wants so he can hook up with men

You say there are at least two men he is meeting up with. How sexuality is not really relevant, he is cheating so surely that's what matters? Man or woman, cheating is cheating.

He's bisexual I assume - his feelings for and attraction to you could well be genuine. (I am not saying this to persuade you to stay with him - I don't in any way think you should - just to reassure you that you have no need to think it's all been a lie and that he never loved or fancied you).

He has totally betrayed you by doing this behind your back. As others have said, cheating is cheating no matter what the gender of the partner.

If he wanted sex with others while maintaining his relationship with you, the only acceptable thing to do would be to discuss opening up the relationship (to which you could say yes or no). To my mind, going behind your back is pretty unforgivable, especially as it wasn't just a drunken spur of the moment thing (not saying that's ok either!) but a deception he planned and carried out over a period of time.

How are you feeling OP? You are sounding quite matter of fact - perhaps the emotional reality hasn't fully sunk in yet? That can happen, and if so it's worth bracing yourself, as you may be in a practical mindset now but may suddenly crash.

(Of course everyone responds to these things differently).

Sending lots of best wishes. So sorry this has happened.

Well he doesn't love you enough to be faithful.

Who he's unfaithful with is beside the point really.

He’s gay and in denial and subsequently putting your health at risk. Time to separate and start the divorce process.

‘I feel betrayed and like my DP doesn't love me, is he gay ? We have an active sex life so I don't understand.’

His sexuality is irrelevant. What he is most definitely is an abusive cheat who is harming you emotionally, removing your right to informed sexual consent and putting your sexual health at risk. And all while you are healing from the last discovery.

Does he love you? Well one things for sure if this his idea of ‘love’, it is worthless.

Do not stay with this man. Love is not a good enough reason to stay.

Then you're with a man who is actively cheating on you. And has been for years.

I wouldn’t keep his secret either. X

Not sure why people keep minimising the sex of who he has been cheating with.

It's a documented fact that gay and bi men take far more risks sexually than straight men.
I worked for years on the gay scene and saw it every single day.

And she doesn't owe him 'being kind' either - fuck him.

Please get tested for STI's OP. He has put your health at risk. I'm so sorry 💐