Good chemistry, but questionable views. Nerves perhaps ?

[Jenkibuble]

Had a date with a guy yesterday - been chatting for a few days .
I am not new to online dating (been on /off them for 4 years or so)

Went to a pub and chatted for about 2.5 hours.
We hadn't covered much conversation via text, so the chat in real life did flow quite well.

He mentioned his ex a lot (she cheated on him and they split 2 years ago ) and how he parallel parents but refuses to communicate with her AT ALL - kid is 12 , week on / week off.
He did acknowledge that he had spoken about her a lot but that it had really wrecked him etc. He told me 2 sessions of therapy had not helped and not his thing !

He also told me about 'types' he avoided online and some of his views didn't sit well with me-
eg multiple kids by different men (I challenged this, stating is it her fault that the guys ditched her?'
Also, he avoided successful career women
Plus disliked those with any botox/tatoos/fake lashes . I showed him my tattoo and I had my lashes done last week :) at which point he back tracked .

He made comments demonstrating his insecurities eg his age, height and not looking as pretty as he used to.

He mentioned how he would be gutted if his son was gay too. I raised my eyebrows and said 'really' ? and added that I love my kids regardless of their preferences.

Despite this, there was humour and chemistry.

He is away for a week and then I am so we have left it quite chilled about meeting back up after that.

Do I need to accept these differences in opinions /view points . Put it down to nerves too?

TIA !

Honestly?
I would avoid

No, no and no. It’s not nerves! No amount of nerves would make someone say they’d be gutted if their son was gay. That’s a total deal breaker for me never mind all the other dubious stuff.

He’s not worth pursuing. He’s homophobic. He’s bigoted. He’s judgemental. Why on earth are you even considering him?

I am not sure why you think that nerves have anything to do with the way that he is thinking tbh. When I am nervous I may ramble a bit, but I don't start saying really horrible things.

And not even just this but he's hypocritical too - backtracking when OP showed him her tattoo... So he will 'hate' something, presumably unless he thinks there's a shag in it for him.

He's an opinionated, judgmental twat. You might fancy him, but you also have to consider what's going on in his brain, and that's the gigantic stumbling block.

Next!

yeet

No. Come on now. You should be on here super excited that you had a first date and it was perfect and slightly gutting that you can't meet again for 2 weeks. Not questioning his views. Throw this one back.

Christ. No. Just no.

I think the homophobia, judgmental views and droning on about his ex would be enough for me to pass on seeing him again! But it's your decision at the end of the day 🤷‍♀️

You don’t need to be in lock-step on every issue, but shared values are essential to a successful relationship.

Homophobic

Not over the ex

Controlling about women's face and body face and body

Misogynist hates successful women and see controlling over someone else's face and body and dislikes women having children with different dads but not men who have children with multiple women.

WTF, humour and chemistry? I'd be out the door before the date ended.

So many red flags flying. He checks a whole lot of hell nos.

I know nobody's perfect but when you've got a list of things you need to overlook that make you uncomfortable after a first date, I think that's a sign that this isn't meant to be.

Yikes, if he's prepared to tell you this on day one god knows what he'll end up actually being like

Isn’t it standard to show your “best self” on a first date ? Vaguely or blatantly offensive opinions … is that his best ? He’s not good enough, and sounds too hung up on the ex story .

There’s too many issues to be honest op- that’s all a lot!!!

Any one of those flags would be a freezing cold shower for my libido. Total turnoff.

Oh come on OP.

I can see why therapy wouldn’t be ‘his thing’ 😂 🚩🚩🚩

Thanks for your opinions. Think you have confirmed my concerns !

Just second guessing myself on differing opinions as in the past I KNOW I have struggled to see others' viewpoints , BUT values are important !

He was honest about his perfectly legitimate opinions, instead of pandering to try and impress with politically correct views.

Nerves don't turn you into a misogynistic judgemental arse.

Nerves don't turn you into a walking red flag.

Avoid.
He's going to turn into a middle aged bore who shouts at the news.

Gutted if his son was gay?
Avoids career women?
Big red flags 🚩