Would you continue dating someone after they admitted attempted shoplifting?

[glippert]

What would you do if you caught someone you were dating trying to shoplift?

I've been dating a guy for about 3 months and he's very honest and got a very virtuous community job. We were in a local supermarket and we got to the til and I couldn't find the shampoo I'd put in the basket so was asking him and the cashier. He was looking around for it and then said 'oh, it's in my pocket, I forgot I put it in there'. We paid for it and after he said it had been deliberate. How would you react?

Immediate dumping offence. He's told you he's honest, but he's not actually honest, is he?

Personally it would turn me off because it shows traits I don’t want in a partner… deceit and stingyness/no money.

Absolutely not.
Shoplifting is not a victimless crime.

Unless his job is testing shop security measures then I would run a mile.

If you continue dating him, get him to empty his pockets before leaving anywhere.

If it was a confession to something done years ago as a child/teenager then I'd be more willing to overlook it, but actively stealing (attempting) now, with you, no chance. I couldn't be with a thief.

No, that would be the end of that. Fundamentally incompatible values. And just very weird behaviour.

I wouldnt want someone who can't be trusted not to steal in my home or any of my families home

I thought that you were going to say that it happened in his early teens.

I would run a mile.

No chance. Couldn’t be round someone who thinks they should just have things they haven’t paid for. It’s a fundamental trait,

Is he one of those “oh so virtuous” types who think big corporations deserve it / can absorb it so it doesn’t matter? Also tend to be very vocal about how virtuous they are but actions don’t tend to match up with words…

It was so weird, if I hadn't spotted it missing, I wouldn't have said anything but I was just trying to be helpful (it was shampoo for his place). He said when we were out that the woman behind the til was so nice so he'd have felt taking it plus he didn't want me to think badly of him. Just so weird.

What kind of virtuous community job does this thief have?

More than the kind of spiritual anti-materialist sector

I know money was a bit tight but he also kept trying to insist on paying for meals out (I always said we'll half it or alternate to share the costs). He could have afforded the shampoo though so it was all very weird. He also tried to haggle on the price of something (reasonably priced) in a charity shop.

It seems like a very basic lack of respect for others.

Spiritual thieves are the worst kind.

It's bizarre. Not the shoplifting itself, which is not good. But the fact he chose to shoplift something on your behalf without you knowing about it. Like what was he going to do, wait til you've left, produce the shampoo out of his pocket and say 'tah dah! I just pinched this for you even though you were perfectly prepared to pay for it. Impressive huh?'

The mind boggles. He must be a serial shoplifter if he just can't even stop himself when he's shopping with a paying customer he's trying to impress!

No get out now.

His impulse is to steal, and imagine your humiliation if he’d been caught.

I ‘think’ you would have been implicated as well.

Silly silly man and all for a bottle of shampoo.

@BillieWiper but it wasn't even for me - it was a shop for his house and his things. I never would have known tbh had I not been trying to be helpful and pointed out it wasn't in the basket - I said it in oh I'll go back and get it if we accidently forgot it on the shelf way.

I would end it. It's a weird thing to do, it's early days in the relationship, no loss.

I wouldn't like it. Imagine if he'd been caught stealing it and you were with him?! You would most definitely been dragged into it

Imagine if he stole something more expensive when you were with him and you had to explain it to the police!

he's very honest

He's not at all honest. He's a thief.

He could have afforded the shampoo though so it was all very weird.

It's not really relevant whether he could afford it. If someone can't afford something that doesn't mean it's ok for them just to steal it!

That is well weird in a grown man! He's either a common-or-garden thief or has a strange compulsion, either way, no thanks!

Absolutely not. If he gets caught and you are with him, you will likely be implicated as well. It will be viewed as a joint enterprise, how are you going to prove you had nothing to do with it ?