Would you continue dating someone after they admitted attempted shoplifting?

[glippert]

What would you do if you caught someone you were dating trying to shoplift?

I've been dating a guy for about 3 months and he's very honest and got a very virtuous community job. We were in a local supermarket and we got to the til and I couldn't find the shampoo I'd put in the basket so was asking him and the cashier. He was looking around for it and then said 'oh, it's in my pocket, I forgot I put it in there'. We paid for it and after he said it had been deliberate. How would you react?

No

When I first read the title I thought. Well if someone said they had shop lifted in a time of life that was really hard and they were very desperate then I could probably see past it but this is just bizarre!!

It would be a deal breaker for me.

Deal breaker for me too. It means we don't share the same values which means a relationship would never work. I don't mind a bit of frugal living but stealing and stinginess is poor imho.

As a teenager I went on a date with a guy who said he needed to pop into Safeway. He then asked to stand at the end of the aisle while he attempted to nick a couple of pastries. I walked to the end of the aisle down the next, out the shop and hot footed it to the tube station. He wasn't best pleased I'd run off and wouldn't see him again. Unsurprisingly he actually did end up in prison a few years later so I feel I dodged a bullet.

@glippert are you saying that you are unsure whether to continue dating someone you know is a thief?

I would not date or even have a friendship with someone I suspected of thieving. That's just inviting problems into your life.

It's over - am just processing and unpacking a whole load of other weird things including this!

That was my thought also. A teenage misdemeanour, I’d overlook as everyone has done something stupid when young. However, in the scenario you described, I’d be horrified, and would dump him.

Check your belongings and dump him.

@glippert
You’ve done the right thing. It’s an ugly trait/compulsion.

Did you tell him why?

Community rehabilitation order?

Actually OP I think shoplifting is the least of it, he sounds decidedly weird.

Fair enough. I thought it was your shampoo! Either way he's addicted to stealing which means he could easily steal from you.

My uncle was like this. He felt like an underdog who never got opportunities that others got, so therefore he was entitled to cheat and thieve. He was even proud of it! We were shopping at the equivalent of Sainsbury once and he put a crate of beer on the bottom of the trolley, near the wheels, and became very vivacious with the checkout girl, distracting her. After we left, he pointed out the beer and that he hadn't paid for it, and laughed.

He also didn't mind playing the poor sad little brother and tricking my softhearted disabled mother into giving him her meagre savings. When there was nothing left to pluck, he stopped coming around. POS human.

Thieving because you're desperate and your kids will go hungry if you don't is understandable. Thieving because you feel the world owes you signals moral corruption. People like the latter will never be safe partners.

No. I don’t do low life thieves.

Stealing whilst with you and not accidentally? No, dump the idiot.

How could you ever trust him?

Weird. Glad you've got rid.

One thing to steal if you are truly in a desperate situation, or an impulsive and silly child. Quite another as an adult doing it for shits and giggles.

He is not to be trusted. 🚩

I'm glad you have finished with him.
I would have too.

But he’s not honest is he? He stole something.

Do you think he might have been testing you?

Small social boundary violation to test the waters. I’m really curious about his job now and thinking cult recruiter.

How big was his pocket to fit a whole bottle of shampoo in? Obviously not the biggest issue but the mind boggles.
He’s seriously weird and has no issue being a criminal. Run for the hills and don’t look back.

This is the tip of a massive iceberg. Sorry he’s a dud but this is massive red flag behaviour and well done for ending it swiftly 👏👏

Trust your instincts and throw this one back. Besides anything that would give me an instant ick.

Do you really have to ask?
You’ll be contaminated by association once he’s caught ffs! And presumably benefiting from his crimes.
Run if you have any morals or common sense.

No