Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Fiance saying other women approach him

86 replies

Tinkerbell270 · 13/07/2026 10:02

Hi I was looking for some advice please. I’m engaged and my fiance has told me that he is in debt and he needs to pay it off asap. He asked me to help him and strangely said that if I can’t help there are other women he could ask. He said he has been approached by a wealthy woman in a coffee shop and also another at a swimming pool. He basically means he would go out with them and eventually ask them for a loan. I’m so shocked by what he said suddenly last night than I can’t believe who I got engaged to. He said the woman in a coffee shop asked a waiter to get his number and the woman at the pool came up to him and said she liked his shoes and perfume. He then started talking to the woman at the pool as she was a lawyer and he wanted legal advice. She then asked if she could give him a lift home! I was really upset he would talk to a random stranger who’s obviously trying to chat him up but he doesn’t see an issue. Is that normal? Am I over reacting?

He then changed his words and said of course I’d never do that I’m not like that but there are options to do that. I said why the hell would you mention such a thing and basically you’re saying either I give you money or you’ll go date other women for money! I told him it’s over and I didn’t answer his call today. I really don’t know what to make of this or if it was a joke but I’ve lost all trust in him. Any opinions are welcome thanks

OP posts:
Annie202 · 14/07/2026 09:37

He is a liar and a fantasist and you should avoid him like the plague!

Tinkerbell270 · 14/07/2026 10:33

SuddenLightbulb · 14/07/2026 09:34

Respectfully, OP, and I know it’s hard, but you need to disengage. He couldn’t ‘make’ you keep phoning him, just as he can’t ’show you hell’. You’re making excuses for the fact that you (understandably) are still reeling with shock and hoping he’s going to soften/apologise/beg you to take him back. Stop contacting him. Stop contacting his family. Block him. Focus on rebuilding your own life and being grateful you didn’t actually marry this tosspot. His debts are his problem.

Thank you so much you’re right I have to block him. I was just hoping for an apology for closure before blocking him but I no longer need that.

OP posts:
EmeraldDreams73 · 14/07/2026 10:54

So sorry OP but thank God he's overseas at least. Such a shock for you but he can't do anything if he's blocked. I'd definitely log it with the police in case he does come over but I imagine he'll be on to the next victim before you know it xx

AllTheTreesOfTheField · 14/07/2026 11:11

I imagine he'll be on to the next victim before you know it

Absolutely.

Bonkers1966 · 14/07/2026 12:35

He didn't make you call him, you made the choice to do so, knowing how abusive he is. Stop

MintSnail · 14/07/2026 16:44

Run for the hills. I would be blocking / changing the locks.

Beccahm · 15/07/2026 23:18

Tinkerbell270 · 14/07/2026 10:33

Thank you so much you’re right I have to block him. I was just hoping for an apology for closure before blocking him but I no longer need that.

I really don't like this.

I know he's abroad, but does he have your address? Know anything about your wider family etc? Screenshot everything, raise something to the police if he's threatening you, and block him.

Francestein · 16/07/2026 05:55

Have some self-respect. Admit to yourself that you fell for a conman. You don’t live in the same country and his financial situation is not your responsibility. Keep screenshots, block.

AmberSpy · 16/07/2026 06:15

Bad with money and a delusional fantasist? Yeah stay well clear of him.

fireandlightening · 16/07/2026 06:19

How long have you known him? Sounds like he preys on women - asking you to pay his debts etc is a huge red flag. Glad you're running for the hills. Pick up the pace.

Inmyuggs · 16/07/2026 06:22

Wow
A manipulative guy trying to mind f* you.
Make sure you keep him blocked.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread