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Relationships

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Fiance saying other women approach him

86 replies

Tinkerbell270 · 13/07/2026 10:02

Hi I was looking for some advice please. I’m engaged and my fiance has told me that he is in debt and he needs to pay it off asap. He asked me to help him and strangely said that if I can’t help there are other women he could ask. He said he has been approached by a wealthy woman in a coffee shop and also another at a swimming pool. He basically means he would go out with them and eventually ask them for a loan. I’m so shocked by what he said suddenly last night than I can’t believe who I got engaged to. He said the woman in a coffee shop asked a waiter to get his number and the woman at the pool came up to him and said she liked his shoes and perfume. He then started talking to the woman at the pool as she was a lawyer and he wanted legal advice. She then asked if she could give him a lift home! I was really upset he would talk to a random stranger who’s obviously trying to chat him up but he doesn’t see an issue. Is that normal? Am I over reacting?

He then changed his words and said of course I’d never do that I’m not like that but there are options to do that. I said why the hell would you mention such a thing and basically you’re saying either I give you money or you’ll go date other women for money! I told him it’s over and I didn’t answer his call today. I really don’t know what to make of this or if it was a joke but I’ve lost all trust in him. Any opinions are welcome thanks

OP posts:
Itiswhysofew · 13/07/2026 11:12

Sorry this has happened to you. What a shock.

He's not marriage material. He's a sleaze. He's given you an ultimatum, which is bad enough, never mind involving other women. That's just 😳

ginasevern · 13/07/2026 11:19

@Tinkerbell270 He's in debt, asking you for money and then willing to sleep with other women for money. Oh, and basically threatening you. Right? Run as fast as you can OP and don't look back. He's a total scumbag.

Bananalanacake · 13/07/2026 14:04

Don't let him move in with you if he wants to save money that way.

outerspacepotato · 13/07/2026 14:15

So his deal was you give him money or he becomes a gigolo?

I'd wish him luck in his new career.

This is nasty manipulation and it's time for you to be done. This man will make you miserable while he takes your money and time.

Mydahliasareshit · 13/07/2026 14:17

Well done for doing the smart thing. We all commend you!

BeBreezyPlum · 13/07/2026 14:23

I am a man and I too am often approached by imaginary women offering me money and a drive in their cars.

What a total knob.

CharityShopMensGlasses · 13/07/2026 14:26

Ick.
Leave and never look back.
Men getting approached like this i think is fairly rare it sounds like fantasys hes made up that wherever he goes women flock to him. If they are hes probably sending out flirty signals, and if they are they can have him.
Its not like it is for women who dont have to flirt at all to be approached by men.

Wherethedogsits · 13/07/2026 14:31

If he wants to work as an escort let him but leave and don’t look back.

MrsMoastyToasty · 13/07/2026 14:33

If he comes crawling back say "CAB is thatta way!"

Justlurking8 · 13/07/2026 14:39

SuddenLightbulb · 13/07/2026 10:16

Well, you did the obviously correct thing. No one wants to be engaged to a man in debt who apparently conceives of himself as some kind of gigolo who can exploit women financially.

This.

SlightlyTerrifiedButPolite · 13/07/2026 14:43

He sounds like the tinder swindler! This is horrible on so many levels, I’m so sorry. Do you know how much the debt is? Do you feel like he targeted you, or is it recent debt?

it doesn’t make it any less painful but now is the time to find out, before you get married xx

RaininSummer · 13/07/2026 14:45

He sounds like a big creepy sleaze who just sees what he can get from a woman.

Justchillinhere · 13/07/2026 14:50

His blatant lies and backwards way of saying give me money or I'm off yesterday because I'm a stud backfired on him, that chapters finished, he's not the person you thought he was, at least you found out before marriage/children, a whole new life is starting for you x

istherereallytimeforallthat · 13/07/2026 15:17

So basically he was both trying to fleece you out of a lot of money and make you jealous at the same time. And then when you said no to the money he said he's had other offers. LOL. What a dickhead. As if other women are going to be queuing up to hand their cash over to him.

You did the right thing. Keep him dumped.

Yearningallovertheplace · 13/07/2026 15:20

How long have you known him and how did you meet? Sounds like a scammer

OriginalSkang · 13/07/2026 15:23

Yes, this sounds like a romance scammer

Is he the same nationality as you?

Edit: typos

OMGDidYouSayThat · 13/07/2026 15:26

You’re not over reacting, he is what’s otherwise known as a N.O.B and i suspect he’s full of bullshit, tell him it’s his debt to pay off, he’s just using emotional blackmail to get you to clear it for him, never do that, as soon as you take on his debt he could just move on and you would be left paying it. Tell him to go find his rich bitch and crack on.

Theyreeatingthedogs · 13/07/2026 15:27

You need to bin him. He's either a fantasist or a sleazebag. Don't marry him.

whippersnapper55 · 13/07/2026 15:44

He's lying about the other women to try and scam you out of money. Well done for dumping him. Block his number and never see or talk to him again!

istherereallytimeforallthat · 13/07/2026 15:53

Six hours later, and one would have expected the OP to have come back by now.

Bonbon21 · 13/07/2026 15:58

Well, you are sorted , well done.
...as for him.. There We Are Then...

Beccahm · 13/07/2026 16:21

Tinkerbell270 · 13/07/2026 10:02

Hi I was looking for some advice please. I’m engaged and my fiance has told me that he is in debt and he needs to pay it off asap. He asked me to help him and strangely said that if I can’t help there are other women he could ask. He said he has been approached by a wealthy woman in a coffee shop and also another at a swimming pool. He basically means he would go out with them and eventually ask them for a loan. I’m so shocked by what he said suddenly last night than I can’t believe who I got engaged to. He said the woman in a coffee shop asked a waiter to get his number and the woman at the pool came up to him and said she liked his shoes and perfume. He then started talking to the woman at the pool as she was a lawyer and he wanted legal advice. She then asked if she could give him a lift home! I was really upset he would talk to a random stranger who’s obviously trying to chat him up but he doesn’t see an issue. Is that normal? Am I over reacting?

He then changed his words and said of course I’d never do that I’m not like that but there are options to do that. I said why the hell would you mention such a thing and basically you’re saying either I give you money or you’ll go date other women for money! I told him it’s over and I didn’t answer his call today. I really don’t know what to make of this or if it was a joke but I’ve lost all trust in him. Any opinions are welcome thanks

No, those women do not exist. Yes, he tried to manipulate you. Yes, you've dodged a massive bullet, my love.

Run and never look back!

FrustratedApples · 13/07/2026 16:56

You did the right thing.

ItWasntMyFault · 13/07/2026 17:07

You absolutely did the right thing. He’s talking bollocks of course, those women don’t exist and he’s trying to manipulate you.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 13/07/2026 19:53

He's an idiot and in debt at that. If other women are stupid enough to pay off his debts for him they can knock themselves out but I think we all know those women don't exist outside his fantasy.

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