The dreaded feeling of being loose

[Curiousmee]

Hi all, F here 39. Had two kids one in 2011 one in 2020.

Just a question for baby mums out there. After two kids I’ve noticed i’m deffo not as tight still 4 years after my second child even after trying the usual keegles etc. No matter what I try it just won’t go back to how it used to be and even my partner agrees. (He is fully supportive I just asked him for his honest opinion)

Is this a common thing for all you other mums out there ? After baby number one I did feel it wasn’t as bad. But after number two it’s just a no go !!

At 53, Ive never ever had anyone complain. They are usually happy that they get to have a go.

Are any of your other body parts in the same condition they were in 2011?

I don’t notice any difference and my husband, when asked, said it feels as great as ever 😄 and I don’t have a reason not to believe him. 3 natural births but no damage e.g no stitches etc.

lol love that. It’s not him complaining that was any issue. It was just something i noticed and when I asked him he agreed. But with what you just said I suppose I’d never had anyone complain either and it’s only as I asked him he agreed. Between my first baby in 2011 until I met current partner who is father of latest child 5 years ago I’d been with multiple men and yeah I never had anyone mention anything (apart from a BS rumour created from an angry ex) lol.

Hah deffo not my boobs !!!! But yeah I get your point.

That’s amazing, especially after 3 children !!.

It was the angry ex who said you had a wizards sleeve? I think we all know that we can discount anything that an angry ex said.
The vagina is a muscle and I hope you're tightening it with your recent bf!
Actually, how do you know that you're not as tight? Are you a penis?!

I worried about this. I ended up getting the Perifit care from Amazon and it’s good. It tests your pelvic strength and gives you a score. You insert it inside and then it links to your phone and you play games on your phone which help to strengthen. It’s quite funny really and you can even play challenges against other women 😂😂 remotely obviously. Worth a go if you’re worried and even if everything is fine it’s good to maintain your pelvic health as you get older. 🙂

Well he wasn’t an ex more just someone I was seeing. I used to work in a pub and he was a regular and I had also been with his friend many years before and he told him I must of been easy as I was very loose and his friend agreed and from that someone else was told and before you knew it everyone had heard it 🙄.

With regards to your question “how do I know I’m not as tight” well the simple answer without being crude is I can feel it when I have some time alone if you get my drift. Plus after asking current partner he basically agreed.

I just googled that product !!! Looks good but so expensive !. Only thing I’ve ever tried is the keegal balls 🤷‍♀️

It is expensive I agree but it lasts for years so worth it. I think it’s really worth it to keep everything intact and prevent leaks etc when older. 🙂 investment for a strong pelvic floor. Sound like I’m selling it sorry, I just know I tried loads of things but that’s the only one that was decent x

Just out of curiosity what made you want to get one in the first place. Was it you who realised you needed it or a partner etc etc ?

Same house but the furniture has been moved around and the door left wide open.

First I was inclined to say find a man with a thicker cock. But actually maybe go to the GP and ask them to make sure there’s not some damage or something to your vagina, that’s actually not quite right post-pregnancy. I don’t think we get checked very well after Labour. I had many stitches and a painful delivery and infection and honestly I don’t think anyone ever checked it once I was home.. No other wound would ever be left like that would it.
So get a professional opinion before assuming everything’s fine.

Hah this is so true. Especially noticed it with my cervix !!

I have been checked and everything was given the all clear. Obviously they wouldn’t know what I was like downstairs before I had a baby so all they could say was I looked perfectly normal.

In regards to the thicker cock comment lol admittedly he isn’t as “thick” as many exes but he also isn’t as skinny as a worm down there 😂. We do however have a couple of sleeves which makes such a difference 😁

Mine was after my third pregnancy -which was twins
me and DH used to joke about it a lot - initially felt like a tit in a top hat wobbling about loL!!
Nature /healing. Doing the exercises, lots of oral sex orgasms, shagging and holding a wee had sorted it out and now I could crack a nut down there if need be

"Plus after asking current partner he basically agreed"

Is he a gynaecologist or just exploiting your own insecurity, red flag from me wrt him, sounds toxic tbh @Curiousmee

Love that lol

Ha no he never mentioned anything till I asked him. To explain it a bit better to you when I asked he never said “yes I think you have a bucket” or anything like that lol.

The way he explained it was that it didn’t look any different at all, especially as I have an “inny” it looks exactly the same. But what he did notice is that I can do certain things a lot easier (I won’t mention specifics on the post) and that it feels and sounds slightly different and since we had the discussion I can agree he is right !!.

"he did notice is that I can do certain things a lot easier"

Does that have something to do with ping pong balls? 🙈

Honestly I’m the same as you and can notice it during std 🫣 2 kids and it defo doesn’t feel the same, I also worry about sneezing etc in case I pee a bit 😭 and keep having to run the loo to pee. I must admit I haven’t done any kegels though so think I might get a machine if they’re worth it

😂😂😂, no lol. Don’t think the thread is a suitable place to explain the details though !!!!. More than happy to share on messages if you must know !!

good god absolutely not 🤣

Oh yes the sneezing looool. After sex no sneezing is allowed for a good hr for fear of leaking something and/or letting out some horrific noises (happened before) !!!😂😂😂