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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Found my partner messaging other women on Facebook

77 replies

WallyHilloughby · 07/01/2026 20:02

i suspect I know the answer but my partner left his phone on the side unlocked and a message came up. It was a woman responding to a message her sent her- just a flirty jokey message to her about something on a local spotted page for a certain place. She asked ‘sorry who are you?’ - I thought it was a bit weird but hey ho. Later on that night my curiosity got the better of me so I looked in his messenger inbox. There were many messages of a similar nature all to young attractive women. Some replied and chatted generally. Most ignored him but one in particular seems to have been chatting over a few weeks. Of course when I asked him about it he tried to sweep it under the carpet and said he was just contacting these women to talk as friends. When I asked why he didn’t contact any men to talk as friends he couldn’t reply.
could it all be innocent?

OP posts:
fatphalange · 13/01/2026 09:39

Eww that’s such icky, beggy behaviour. Sounds a bit of a state aswell. And really immature.Women he’s messaged will see you out with him and wonder why you’re with such a slime bag/feel sorry for you

Boobyslims · 13/01/2026 10:30

Creepy and even worse he’s not being accountable. He may never bother to have an affair but he is amusing himself with his chit chat lightly flirting banter. I’ve been on the receiving end of this via FB and you just know these men are married. As a pp said, he’s less commitment / less of lie to you if it’s all innocently ‘just Facebook”!?! And just a bit of banter! Urgh! It’s an ego boost for them.

to the PP who said her pervert justified it by saying he was doing it to make these women feel good, oh my GAWD have these eejits no shame!!!!!

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