Found my partner messaging other women on Facebook

[WallyHilloughby]

i suspect I know the answer but my partner left his phone on the side unlocked and a message came up. It was a woman responding to a message her sent her- just a flirty jokey message to her about something on a local spotted page for a certain place. She asked ‘sorry who are you?’ - I thought it was a bit weird but hey ho. Later on that night my curiosity got the better of me so I looked in his messenger inbox. There were many messages of a similar nature all to young attractive women. Some replied and chatted generally. Most ignored him but one in particular seems to have been chatting over a few weeks. Of course when I asked him about it he tried to sweep it under the carpet and said he was just contacting these women to talk as friends. When I asked why he didn’t contact any men to talk as friends he couldn’t reply.
could it all be innocent?

The one he was complimenting on her looks etc hair and when I challenged him about it he said it was just in a friends way. He never knew her prior to messaging her randomly!

he sounds like a real catch. Other than the fact he’s inappropriately messaging young women. He’s totally disrespecting you! To your face!! Throw him back! Yuck!

Think 'young and attractive' are the key words here.

His behaviour is unsolicited and creepy.

He is looking at random women’s profiles and coming in to them.

It is with a sexual viewpoint not a making friends gesture.

Why isn’t he messaging men if he wants new friends?

I bet all of the women are attractive and he hasn’t tried to be friends with anyone who looks like the back of a bus!

What makes it even worse is that instead of admitting what a prat he is he thinks you’re a gullible idiot and will believe his pathetic excuse of him just being friendly!

There are two things going on here ,

1. predatory and creepy behaviour to random women.
2. His extremely low opinion of you.

He's a creepy middle aged sex pest, messaging women randomly that he doesn't know is pretty repulsive (we've all had these messages on social media from creeps that we've had to block!)

If I were you I would leave - just thinking about him would make my stomach turn, let alone share a bed with him 🤮

Mega creepy messaging young women on a whim to tell them their attractive and have bonnie hair and was just being friendly.
Aye right!

He is what is known as “affair ready”. Eventually someone will engage him and he’ll wring his hands and say it just happened.

I’d tell him to leave. If he wants a girlfriend he can’t stay married to you.

Of course it’s not innocent, he’s looking to hook up with other women .
You can’t trust him .
Leave him .
You’re only 46 , don’t look back with regret when you’re 66 .

No, it could not be innocent, I'm afraid. What a plonker. I would be annoyed if some random bloke messaged me out of the blue. He is cheating on you (in intention if not in action, the lack of action being because he has no takers!) and perving on these young women. Dump him!

Creepy af

You do know what you have to do

Been there bought the t shott. Just leave now. It only gets worse. It never stops.

With a wet fish.

In the bin!

Found my partner cheating on me is the headline this should have been.

He's definitely hiding more.

Yeah, right.... and he's 46 years old. 🙄

Some men prefer to chase, flirt and fish their way through Facebook as they can "pretend" it's just being friendly and neighbourly - they can even half justify it to themselves by doing this, instead of using an actual dating app.

They know that using a dating app would be a full commitment to finding an extra girlfriend / mistress and would mean more hot water (trouble) for them if caught by the "missus" (their original main partners/ wife).

They think they can get away with befriending women on Facebook and if one FB lady ever takes the bait / happens to like his type of banter .... he will do everything to reel her in and make it physical.

10 years ago I had a brief 6 week fling / affair with a married man from a Facebook encounter. I didn't know he was married (he kept his status and connections to his wife hidden on his FB page). I only found out the full situation after I "bumped" into another one of his mistresses - I noticed this other lady putting a lot of comments and likes on his FB posts, so I messaged her. She was very willing to chat and exchange stories about him including all the stuff she knew about his true marital situation.

Ofc it isn’t innocent.

Can you really take a man who is being ignored in young women’s inboxes seriously? Such an ick. If he hasn’t cheated yet he’s lining it up.

@WallyHilloughby kindly op . Come on. Your “h” is creep praying on young? Attractive females online
yuck

Yep my ex justified it by saying he was making women feel good about themselves as they obviously have low self esteem. Then said it was my fault for being insecure..
Gaslighting cunt!

Yeah it’s not innocent he’s looking for attention from other women. He’s lying to you, like you said why can’t he message blokes?

He’s sniffing out a shag

Yuck just yuck
Stick him in the bin.
Tell him hes free to message all the women he wants and good luck finding someone else.
What. A. Catch

That's probably it then. He feels insecure and is looking for an ego boost. Maybe even "punishing" you for daring to be an attractive lady in her 40s by going for the young ones. I've noticed a lot of men can't handle attractive older women...they're supposed to look like Norah Batty 😄 just tell him in that case you'll "be friends" online with men in their 20s. A lot of whom actually do go for women in their forties! You'll have more success than him 🤣 seriously though don't put up with it. I'd have to leave.

You know it isn't. He has no need to do this and yet has chosen to contact women he doesn't know, en masse, to see what he can get from them.
Get rid. Plenty of men like this in the sea.

Yuck.

Wake up and smell the coffee, kick him to the kerb.