Found my partner messaging other women on Facebook

[WallyHilloughby]

i suspect I know the answer but my partner left his phone on the side unlocked and a message came up. It was a woman responding to a message her sent her- just a flirty jokey message to her about something on a local spotted page for a certain place. She asked ‘sorry who are you?’ - I thought it was a bit weird but hey ho. Later on that night my curiosity got the better of me so I looked in his messenger inbox. There were many messages of a similar nature all to young attractive women. Some replied and chatted generally. Most ignored him but one in particular seems to have been chatting over a few weeks. Of course when I asked him about it he tried to sweep it under the carpet and said he was just contacting these women to talk as friends. When I asked why he didn’t contact any men to talk as friends he couldn’t reply.
could it all be innocent?

If he only wants to chat to new friends why is he only messaging attractive young women? Why not join a group for friends his own age? He can chat with Barry from Bognor or Doris who works in Tesco.

He’s a common of garden creepy old pervert - men like him make women’s flesh crawl

Absolutely this. He’s disgusting and I’d never let him near me again.

Tends to be the case unfortunately. Desperately in need of an ego boost.

He’s always going out with his ‘lad mates’ and will frequently get drunk and post about it on social media

Ew, so he's an embarrassment as well a s a predator.
Consider just giving it up as a bad job, would you not prefer the bliss of being man-free?
Do you own your own property?

Yes we own a house. His parents gifted us a significant amount towards it, we aren’t married so I know it would be a nightmare to try and get an equal amount back from the sale of the house.

you know when you actually write something down and realise how absolutely shit it all sounds. Urgh

I could tell you don't have the legal protection of marriage as you referred to the predator as partner instead of a H, that's why I asked about the property.

Your financial and housing security is 100% more important than the loser blokes sad ego and lust. Focus on getting your own property, savings and pension as high as you possibly can.

How long have you lived there? Do you contribute to bills?

Is the house in both your names?

Ewwwwwww

He’s a grim sleazy knob.

He sounds vile. I would be making plans to separate.

Are you for real? She was 100% right to not trust him.

Every thread where a woman rightly suspects her H of cheating then commits the cardinal sin of checking his phone, someone like you hangs them out to dry because you equate checking a phone as the same as cheating which is wild.

Do you think she should have asked him? Do you think he'd tell her the truth?

People like you would rather OP lived a lie with a cheat rather than find out for herself and be able to make choices about her life.

There’s nothing quite as embarrassing as a man trying so hard to cheat but failing

Gaslighting at its finest (not you, the poster you quoted)

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Having access to the internet at our fingertips 24 hours a day is really proving as an excellent means to weed out those men who can't resist temptation isn't it. Get rid OP, nothing good will come of this.

Isn’t it just. The sleazy little creeps who previously would have had their faces laughed into if they approached women young enough to be their daughters and way out of their league, But online has made them brave and shameless behind their keyboards.

Slightly different scenario but any women who has tried online dating will testify for the men 15/20/25/30 years senior mostly resembling Dobbys older more wizened brother sending ‘age is only a number’ messages then getting aggressive when they get a polite no thank you,

Indeed
I have a friend who has a partner who is constantly trying and failing
dunno why she stays with him he’s pathetic

He's vile. You know this can't be anything innocent.

If he's trying to make new friends (!) - why? Doesn't he have enough? Why only young women? Why does he specifically want some young women friends? Why complement their looks? That isn't how you make friends, it's how you chat people up.

He's a cheating, lying sleaze unfortunately, and you deserve better.

This. Gross

Yeah, he’s a creep.

Reminds me of my friend, who was messaged by some random bloke on Facebook. They actually got on really well, she left her husband (he was awful though) and set up house with this ‘Facebook man’ and they’re still together now.

I shudder at the modern world. I can't imagine messaging anyone I don't know just randomly, and even less why anyone would reply to a message from someone they don't know.

I saw someone on Insta recently saying that if someone cheats in a relationship, it’s usually the less attractive half of the relationship. Thinking about anecdotal experiences from my own circle of friends, this seems to be generally an accurate observation.

Messaging women he doesn’t know on social media is gross. Even more so given he’s 46, not 15, and is in a long term committed relationship with kids. That would be it for me. Let him go and have all the free time he wants to chase attractive 25 year olds who will not be remotely interested. How pathetic of him.

He’s got his fishing net out.

Sounds like my ex- a complete beg!
Don’t stand for this disrespect, disloyalty and dishonesty. Throw him back.

I like that, a “beg”
because they’re always begging for attention