I found my best friends husband on a dating app. What are the chances it's innocent?

[SofiaJessica4]

I just found his profile with what looked like old photos. I am beyond shocked. They have been married a year and seem really happy, he seems devoted to her. What are the chances this is a mistake and he just forgot to delete his profile? They met on Bumble.

They are not in an open relationship and I am certain she is the type of person to have discussed deleting profiles as soon as they were official.

He is not the forgetful type. I will add he's a boundary pusher and was once in a poly relationship but she is very much against that and not to repeat myself but they seem really happy :(

Im going to tell her, I think have to, and I'd want someone to do the same for me, but I really don't want to believe that it is what it looks like

Are you single ?

Yes they are totally separate. You only have a profile on either side because you make one but I guess people will believe what is easier you’ve done what you can.

Old, dormant profiles fall to the bottom of the algorithm and are not shown!

You’ve done exactly the right thing, OP. Your friend knows all you know - you can’t do any more. You may well be right to still be suspicious, but as you say, you’ve done your part. It’s up to her now.

I couldn’t imagine not telling my best friend what I’d seen and if she kept donating like this from me it would feel like a betrayal, to be honest. I think you did the right thing and that’s all you can do.

Keep out of this. It's absolutely none of your business. You won't be thanked for meddling.

@Viviennemary and all the others who have said ‘don’t say anything’, what would you say if you discovered your husband had been cheating then your friend said ‘oh yes, I know’.

This is a genuine question, I’m not being goady at all, I’m really curious because this type of scenario comes up quite often and there are always answers like this and I don’t understand the reasons.

It’s not

I’d say it’s not necessarily dodgy. I’d been happily with (now) DH for 3 years when a colleague let me know I somehow still had a profile on Tinder (I thought I’d deleted it but apparently had just deleted the app, not the account). I hadn’t touched it since I’d met DH. I was horrified. DH thought it was funny.

If it was me, I would be making a fake account, messaging him and see if he replies! Then see if he says he is married/separated/looking for a threesome etc.

Yep, bumble hides your account after 30 days of inactivity.

Don't tell him, he will delete it if dodgy
Tell her