Any advice for me (33F) thinking about dating older men (42-50) and I am dating with intention??

[ForeverHopeful3]

I left my ex in May and I am done dating these losers who need 5+ years with a woman before they can make up their mind about marriage. I am 33 years old, I want to find my hubby (like yesterday lmao but I know I have to be patient), and I want kids in the next 2-3 years.

I am on dating apps and until tonight, I have been focusing on men 33-38 years old. Well, I put the age to 42-48 and my gosh, these guys are HOT! Not all of them, but I see some real Alphas and I feel like that is missing in my age group.

Has anyone dated older before? What's it like? The one's I am matching with have no kids, never married, and state that they are also dating for intention and want children. They are all well off in their careers and most of them are closer to 42-45.

I have never dated this far out of my age before but I am definitely down to try it.

You go girl!

keep us posted!

I’m the same age as you, and that was also my plan, after being single for 6 years. I thought I’ll go for an older guy because guys my age are fucking idiots.
I somehow ended up with someone 8 years younger than me 😂 our baby is due in 2 weeks!
Honestly, go for it!
Date whoever you like, be honest about any red flags, tell them what you want and get these men scrambling to give it to you 🙌🏻 good luck!

10 years age difference- is nothing.
You will of course find that for many of them - there is a reason why they’re single, so as with all OLD, be a tad cautious.

Honestly leave the 50 years olds. I would go ten years max, men start aging rapidly after a certain point, they start falling asleep on the sofa and talking to you about trains. Also don’t trust those pictures. Good luck OP.

You're too old for a lot of them because they'll hear your biological clock ticking from a mile off. But they'll know you're desperate, so could get a few shags out of it if they promise you enough.

Some will already have DC which would mean a lot of challenges for you that many would rather avoid.

Sperm quality worsens with age, eg increasing risks of miscarriage and DC having health issues.

Hmm not sure they'll be any more likely to settle down than the others!

A lot of them will have come from long term relationships and are just after a shag or something casual. Others will be the 30 something guys you speak of, 10 years down the line, who still don't want to commit.

When I started OLD in my mid 40s, I already had children and met a number of men also in their 40s who wanted to have children and get married. They were decent guys, a couple were consultant doctors and really nice, kind respectful men. I went into my archived messages for something and noticed one of them had changed his WhatsApp photo to his wedding day with a very lovely looking bride. He was clearly ready to move quickly!
I met someone with children the same age to me and we’re still together 2 years on but I wasn’t looking to start a whole new family with anyone. You’re in a great position to go for it now!
Make sure you pick someone who treats his mother well, is generous with time and money and has a good job.

You’ve got to wonder why they’re still single and child free at that age if they’re so ‘hot’?

You’ll hear this a lot but really wasn’t my experience at all. I had no shortage of dates with men of a similar age to me (and I’m mid 40’s).

If U want kids I'd also think about their old sperm have they lived a healthy lifestyle etc

No offence, but they probably didnt hear your biological clock ticking if you're mid 40s.

But they were interested in having more children

What app worked for you @Thingyfanding ?

I only used bumble. I had a lovely time for 6 months, lots of fun dates.

Yes some of them are really hot. But please look for more than that. These are the men other women have thrown back for very good reason. Have a wander through other posts on here because when a women eventually decides to leave a complete waste of space they go on the apps. If they can’t parent the kids they’ve got, they won’t change for you.
This is the age range I dated and it’s a nightmare. Also the photos are usually old. If you’re desperate for a family there’s a good chance they’ll see you coming a mile off.
Proceed with caution if you’re really going to do this (which it sounds like you are).

its because they don’t want to get married and don’t want children, they are looking for short term fun and romance

And women don’t age for some reason?

This is a hilarious but accurate response.

Bring back marriage brokers.

Early 40s is ok, but surely a man in his late 40s with no kids is likely to be a bit of a commitment phobe? Or are you happy to date divorced men with kids @ForeverHopeful3?

When women get to the point that they spend an entire evening telling their OH about the mechanics of landing gear on a plane until his eyes roll back inside his own skull I will believe that women age in the same way men do.

God bless my old man, love him to bits, but I’m not sure thats the kind of thing OP is looking for given she used the word “hot”.

My ex used to spend the evening telling me all about the latest nonsense on celebrity dancing/ island/ jungle / whatever on ice until I wanted to hang myself, people may age differently- but that doesn’t necessarily make them right or wrong

Ofc they do, but the OP is only 33. She doesn't need to be at that stage yet.