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Red flag or not?

63 replies

rubberduck68 · 30/03/2025 14:10

Date three with a man who up until last night had not been too weird (yes, that is how low the bar is in the mid-fifties dating pool). He claims to be a member of the labour party, a “socialist”, anti-royal and anti-aristocracy. He’s flexed activism, including anti-fox hunt protests. He is a bit preachy, which I was hoping would ease off (a lot of Lenin, Marxism, Orwell quotes). Last night he revealed his ex of nine years was a fox hunter, and that she was raised as “aristocracy.” I questioned how he can have those beliefs and date her, and he said, “Well, we are not who we date, are we?” I joked that he must have an apolitical dick, because nothing would shut my foo faster than a fox hunter toff. He didn’t like that at all. I am getting red flag vibes. AIBU?

OP posts:
Sodthesystem · 30/03/2025 14:14

Basically he hates his ex so he's now claiming to hate all the things she stood for. They didn't bother him back then, until, presumably, she dumped him. He is just another 'all my ex's are crazy (and I hate women and everything they stand for-because they're obviously all the same)' prick.

He sounds like a self involved narcissist prick tbh.

Sodthesystem · 30/03/2025 14:18

I'd be inclined to drop him with 'i can be with people whos words don't match their actions' haha. Just to see the waffling bullshit merchant realise you'd seen through his pomp and circumstance drivel.

Catastrophejane · 30/03/2025 14:18

I think the red flag is being into student politics in his mid-50’s ( am guessing he is same age? Sounds like a real black and white thinker.

im left leaning myself but i have to say I find these ‘right on’ leftie men to be absolutely insufferable!

the fox hunting ex also suggests that its politics of envy with him and he’d secretly love to be a rich toff!

something2say · 30/03/2025 14:19

Did he annoy you with his attitude?

rubberduck68 · 30/03/2025 14:21

Sodthesystem · 30/03/2025 14:14

Basically he hates his ex so he's now claiming to hate all the things she stood for. They didn't bother him back then, until, presumably, she dumped him. He is just another 'all my ex's are crazy (and I hate women and everything they stand for-because they're obviously all the same)' prick.

He sounds like a self involved narcissist prick tbh.

He pre-dates his "socialism" and "activism" from his youth and claims to still hold those principles, so that wouldn't make sense timeline wise (but I hear you).

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 30/03/2025 14:21

Are you dating Woolfie Smith?

Id find his self obsessed political preaching beyond tedious tbh

Next 🤣

StopStartStop · 30/03/2025 14:22

I couldn't be bothered with the fuss. Next!

ChiliFiend · 30/03/2025 14:34

He sounds insufferable

ohnowwhatcanitbe · 30/03/2025 14:38

I couldn't be arsed to listen to anyone going on and on about their political or other views like that (whether I agreed with the views or not), and especially not on an early date with someone new.

You can't reason with the unreasonable and you can't argue with stupid, so just dump him and save yourself the bother.

In any case, fox hunting was banned in 2005 so his ex certainly wouldn't have been hunting for some time.

Alllll · 30/03/2025 14:40

Im not sure they’re red flags, but I couldn’t be arsed with it.

TwistedWonder · 30/03/2025 14:47

Alllll · 30/03/2025 14:40

Im not sure they’re red flags, but I couldn’t be arsed with it.

Agree with this. Not actual red flags but just a sign he’s not the right one

rubberduck68 · 30/03/2025 15:12

TwistedWonder · 30/03/2025 14:21

Are you dating Woolfie Smith?

Id find his self obsessed political preaching beyond tedious tbh

Next 🤣

😂That is so funny... yes! There is a kind of "Woolfie" vibe, even has a "mockney" accent!

OP posts:
rubberduck68 · 30/03/2025 15:15

something2say · 30/03/2025 14:19

Did he annoy you with his attitude?

I was quite bewildered at the time, but this morning woke up and felt uncomfortable more than annoyed...

OP posts:
tsmainsqueeze · 30/03/2025 15:20

rubberduck68 · 30/03/2025 15:12

😂That is so funny... yes! There is a kind of "Woolfie" vibe, even has a "mockney" accent!

Ughhh -the 'mockney' accent is enough alone to dump him !

rubberduck68 · 30/03/2025 15:29

tsmainsqueeze · 30/03/2025 15:20

Ughhh -the 'mockney' accent is enough alone to dump him !

I know, the last man who made it to the second date (but not to a third) had one too. No family history with London (or Essex!), just very strange.

OP posts:
Isitsixoclockalready · 30/03/2025 15:31

rubberduck68 · 30/03/2025 14:10

Date three with a man who up until last night had not been too weird (yes, that is how low the bar is in the mid-fifties dating pool). He claims to be a member of the labour party, a “socialist”, anti-royal and anti-aristocracy. He’s flexed activism, including anti-fox hunt protests. He is a bit preachy, which I was hoping would ease off (a lot of Lenin, Marxism, Orwell quotes). Last night he revealed his ex of nine years was a fox hunter, and that she was raised as “aristocracy.” I questioned how he can have those beliefs and date her, and he said, “Well, we are not who we date, are we?” I joked that he must have an apolitical dick, because nothing would shut my foo faster than a fox hunter toff. He didn’t like that at all. I am getting red flag vibes. AIBU?

The most important opinion is yours.

Bittenonce · 30/03/2025 17:55

Mixed feelings on this one tbh - I kind of agree with him (although he sounds like a tw*t so I really don't want to) that having different background and beliefs shouldn't be a barrier to a relationship, provided you can respect each other's opinion. I was just chatting with a woman who's vegetarian - and I'm definitely not! - but that wouldn't have been a barrier in itself, for either of us. But I'd be tempted to join the 'junk him now' chorus just for being preachy and holier than thou. And also if I'm honest because at 60 I'm refusing to lower my bar, still think its better to be alone than in the wrong place!
.

ruddygreattiger · 30/03/2025 18:02

Get rid, can you imagine listening to this bloke droning on at every opportunity, take it from me it gets old very quickly.

EmuFace · 30/03/2025 18:05

You lost me at the quotes. Run!

TwistedWonder · 30/03/2025 18:06

As a fellow 50 something single lady, why do so many men of our age love the sound of their own voice so much?

Honestly dating in our 50’s seems to be listening to a droning monologue of ‘me me me me me’

healthybychristmas · 30/03/2025 18:08

No way. I'm left leaning but the thought of being lectured would put me right off.

WhisperGold · 30/03/2025 18:09

Red flag. I see what you did there.😁

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 30/03/2025 18:15

Someone that preachy is either a totally inflexible bore, or given that he can flex those “deep” morals for his d**k suggests he uses inflexible morality to hide his actually very flexible morals. Classic overcompensation.
Another poster said the anti-fox hunting, liberal stuff is him dealing with issues with his ex. Probably got dumped for not being posh enough so has decided to “own it” in this way. But either way he’s got issues.

aquashiv · 30/03/2025 18:36

I am amazed you met a leftie all i met were bloody reform voters it was weird nothing about me gives thst vibe...

Daleksatemyshed · 30/03/2025 18:42

So endless political ranting and virtue signalling from the word go - NEXT!!