He likes cheerleader costumes…?

[Subwaystop]

Chatting with this guy who seems to be a total gentleman. I had an event that required a careful wardrobe selection and in discussing my shopping asked him what his taste in clothing is. It was meant to to invite his style - casual, elegant, formal, etc. He replied that he loves my quirky dress style and how much personality I have, that it comes through in my clothing. Then he added “in the bedroom I like short skirts tall boots, schoolgirl and cheerleader costumes.” Say what!
What would you make of it?

I’d be fine until the schoolgirl comments. That’s not ok.

He's a dirty perv like every other man out there.

I would find what he said a massive turnoff.

The schoolgirl bit would make me boak.

I would assume he was joking ?

Schoolgirl? Urgh, is not be wanting anything more to do with him.

I believe he was serious. I asked him if he is serious and he said couples do costumes to spice up their sex life. He literally explained that to me like I’m 2!

Not sure I'd be talking about that subject to a 2 year old.

It would fully put me off. Idk how old you are, but as I’m approaching 50, the last thing that would make me feel sexy would be dressing up like a teenager (even leaving aside the grossness of the thought that he gets off on the idea of teenagers).

I would dress as the fastest sprinter on the planet, seriously no

Tell me you have a sexual interest in underage girls without telling me you have a sexual interest in underage girls. He’s gone first ……

It felt to me like it’s an answer from a man who lives in a porn fantasy and wants me to play into that. I’m totally surprised, he did not strike me as the type. I thought he was the type to want real mature women, he’s dated several women older than him by a bit. Once he realized I was not liking his answer he deflected it and made a non issue of it. But I feel it’s revealing.

Yuck. Creepy.

I would not date a man who is sexually attracted to schoolchildren - this one has admitted that he is.

Nor would I think of him as a 'gentleman' any longer OP.

Yep - sounds like porn. At least he's told on himself what a creep he is sooner rather than later and saves you from getting more involved now rather than down the line.

These men are such a disappointment.

Well, the mask slipped there didn't it. That would be it for me.

I agree. Cropped sweaters, Lycra and short plaid skirts would make me feel ridiculous, not desirable, even though I am in shape enough to “carry them off”.

They’re an incredible immature look and would make me feel infantilised, rather than being a desirable mature woman.

There’s something off about a man who wants a mature woman to dress like a teen. Imagine asking your mature male lover to dress up in baggy jeans, a basketball singlet and a baseball cap to get you turned on. Ewwwwww.

He made it sound like this is a normal occurrence in his experience for women to get into costumes. Is it? Mature women? I’d feel so ridiculous and pathetic, objectified and sad.

It's not the specific costumes so much for me, but his bald entitlement. Yes, couples dress up - when it's mutually agreed. He's just telling you what he expects in bed. He's got no interest at all in what you would like. Obviously you don't like the sort of thing at all and he hasn't even registered that it's also your decision.

I think it is “normal” in the sense that there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with dressing up and role-playing if that’s what does it for both of you, but I wouldn’t say it’s terribly common.

I’ve had partners who’ve liked fancy lingerie but have never been asked for role-play dress-ups.

Of course, I imagine that someone who finds it a big turn-on is going to be a lot more proactive about asking for it than others who might just be open to the idea. Making it sounds as though everyone before you has been into it (whether that’s true or not) could be a subtle way of applying subtle pressure to do it.

The most shocking thing of all about men is their total lack of shame, insight or embarrassment, and their massive sense of entitlement. That he could say this, referencing sexual behaviour, to a woman he's not in a relationship with is bad enough but casually mentioning schoolgirls? He's not bothered that you or anyone else knows this about him. He doesn't care that you don't want to know. He's testing you, getting off on making you embarrassed. Because he can. There will be no repercussions for him, but he'll walk away cheerfully with a smirk on his face.

No I would not be entertaining that.

Grim.

Anyone can pretend to be decent on chat, that doesn't mean they are

Wow. Projecting? 😂