The smell..

[sarah0106]

So I've been with current partner 4 years... he had a terrible upbringing, his mums narcissistic and his dads controlling and very arrogant, there's been abuse in his childhood although he said he can't remember it happening.

Now to the point! He lets off wind and it's rotten now I'm not smelling of roses when I let off but this is like blocked drains, raw sewage smell, I've said to him I think he needs to go to the doctors and see about IBS or IBD but he's not taking me on at all, I say in a jokingly way "aw your rotten somethings crawled up your butt and died" but this is what it is like. I've tried doing the nice approach, I've tried the"your rank rotten" I've got air fresheners everywhere because it's that bad.

There's clearly an issue inside it doesn't matter what he eats, drinks, he can have salads to eat and water to drink and it's still as bad as when he has fizzy juice and a donner kebab.
Help because my nose can't take anymore

Food intolerance is my first thought or a shocking diet.

Without sounding gross my farts smelled like something had died. That was the first symptoms of IBD that I had. Does he have any other symptoms ?

He Could go to the bathroom to fart if he cared about the impact on you. Clearly he doesn't.

What’s his upbringing got to do with his bowel issues?

I’ve just been scratching my head over this part as well!

He was abused sexually

Have you heard of a book called 'The body keeps the score '?
Let Google be your friend.

Does anyone else say anything? Could it be you have a very heightened sense of smell? Any other signs of ill health in your DP? Is he complaining about his flatulence?

Has it been like since you met, or are the horrendous farts a new symptom? How often does he eat doner kebabs? What is his diet normally? I'm unsure how childhood sexual assault would cause an adult man to have malodourous farts? Could you book a GP visit for him and go along for support?

Why are you taking the piss out of him for it? Just tell him seriously to go to the drs, quit with the humiliating childish jokes.

This. Talk to him. Say you're worried about his health because his farts smell so bad. Don't joke about it, it makes him think it can't be that bad. How much water does he drink?

Are you thinking he got physical damage?

Someone is going to have to enlighten the rest of us about how abuse causes foul wind. We haven’t read the book.

I can see how it could perhaps cause a lack of control, but that doesn’t account for the exceptional odour.

The title underscores the book’s central idea: Exposure to abuse and violence fosters the development of a hyperactive alarm system and molds a body that gets stuck in fight/flight, and freeze. Trauma interferes with the brain circuits that involve focusing, flexibility, and being able to stay in emotional control. A constant sense of danger and helplessness promotes the continuous secretion of stress hormones, which wreaks havoc with the immune system and the functioning of the body’s organs. Only making it safe for trauma victims to inhabit their bodies, and to tolerate feeling what they feel, and knowing what they know, can lead to lasting healing. This may involve a range of therapeutic interventions (one size never fits all), including various forms of trauma processing, neurofeedback, theater, meditation, play, and yoga.

https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score

Maybe he’s evolved skunk like tendencies to keep wrong ‘uns at bay.

Just get him a prebiotic from Holland and Barratt don't take it with a hot drink it will de stench him

https://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/h-b-expert-calm-gut-30-capsules-60062787

Try this I bought something similar a few years ago after I had a similar episode after an illness it worked great

The author of that book (Bessel van der Kolk) is a complete charlatan. Nobody in psychology takes him seriously. See for example https://medium.com/@tarasierralee_57910/the-cult-of-bessel-van-der-kolk-author-of-the-body-keeps-the-score-e4aabf785da4.

There is indeed no reason why past abuse might cause farts to smell bad. I guess it would "make sense" if one unpleasant thing led to another unpleasant thing, and "Oh that makes sense" is the entire business model of most self-help books. But nature doesn't work like that. Perhaps trauma might cause your farts to not smell at all. (I don't believe that either.)

It's like homeopathy, in which the water that the medicine was diluted in magically retains the healing power of whatever the special substance is, but not the memory of all the shit that's been in that water over the aeons since the molecules formed.

The most likely cause of smelly farts is diet, or an interaction between diet and gut flora. If he has always been like this then there's probably nothing wrong. If it's a recent development then it might be worth checking out with a doctor, but the first thing to do is to try varying his diet while keeping a food diary. And in the meantime, get him to leave the room when he feels he's about to let rip.

Not such a bad idea.

Wow!

So you're saying that neglect or physical, emotional, psychological or sexual abuse of a baby or child whose brain is still being formed will have zero impact on their body?

Do you believe that Trauma, PTSD and cptsd don't exist then?

So a bad upbringing causes smelly farts? Heard it all now

But trauma and (C)PTSD are mental conditions. We know that negative emotional and psychological experiences have negative mental health consequences. (Of course, the brain is part of the body. But that's not what The Body Keeps The Score means.)

There is, however, very little evidence that abuse causes specific physical disorders. It's an important research area, and perhaps more will be discovered. But in the meantime, quacks like Bessel van der Kolk are not helping with their "it sounds like it makes sense, so it must be true" handwaving. Just because childhood abuse is bad doesn't mean that whoever makes the most extreme claims for its effects gets to be declared the winner.

(Source: I have a PhD in health psychology and I read the scientific literature.)