The smell..

[sarah0106]

So I've been with current partner 4 years... he had a terrible upbringing, his mums narcissistic and his dads controlling and very arrogant, there's been abuse in his childhood although he said he can't remember it happening.

Now to the point! He lets off wind and it's rotten now I'm not smelling of roses when I let off but this is like blocked drains, raw sewage smell, I've said to him I think he needs to go to the doctors and see about IBS or IBD but he's not taking me on at all, I say in a jokingly way "aw your rotten somethings crawled up your butt and died" but this is what it is like. I've tried doing the nice approach, I've tried the"your rank rotten" I've got air fresheners everywhere because it's that bad.

There's clearly an issue inside it doesn't matter what he eats, drinks, he can have salads to eat and water to drink and it's still as bad as when he has fizzy juice and a donner kebab.
Help because my nose can't take anymore

Gross. How does he manage this at work? Surely he’s not farting at his boss.

I'm reading When The Body Says No by Gabor Maté and it cites studies, lots of them, and also supports the idea that stress, including that caused by past trauma, can make you sick.

If stress doesn't make people sick, explain stress-induced migraines, stress-induced vomiting, and stress-induced alopecia? Explain vaginismus after rape? Explain why there's a correlation between ACEs and IBS, and IBS patients report pain when people without IBS don't upon having the same small volume of air rectally pumped into their colons?

We are our bodies and something that affects our brains affects our bodies by definition because a) our brains are part of our bodies and b) are connected to the rest of our bodies by our nervous systems.

@MoneyMill What a load of absolute nonsense 🤣

I saw a tv show once where the said that people with the worst smelling farts actually had the healthiest microbiome. Also smelling farts is now thought to be good for you so get huffing!

https://theweek.com/speedreads/450160/study-smelling-farts-may-good-health

I think he must a secret curry/cider fan! I can clear a supermarket aisle after consuming those two ingredients 🤣

Do you think he's reluctant to go to his GP because of the childhood abuse? You're joking may be making him feel worse about himself or it may make him think it's not a serious problem. If you want him to seek medical help you need to speak to him calmly and seriously.

@samarrange
I started reading that book this weekend as it's been recommended a few times in various Mumsnet threads. Sadly your link didn't work just now but thanks for the heads up. I'm a quarter way through the book and really would prefer more facts and less waffle.

try a pro biotic. Yukkalt or supermarket own brand

Yeah vaginismus makes sense, also a lowered immune system. Stinky farts however... more likely he's been eating foods that aren't compatible with his digestion. Also if he's eating loads of protein and broccoli like a lot of gym goers his farts will likely reek.

“There's none so blind as they that won't see.”

Mans smelly farts caused by trauma. I’ve heard it all now.

Tell him to go to the bathroom. Like he does at work or like when he’s with his friends. It’s gross and disrespectful.

Lactose intolerance?

Lactose intolerance. Would he try a dairy free diet?

The body says no is an interesting book

Does this link work? https://medium.com/@tarasierralee_57910/the-cult-of-bessel-van-der-kolk-author-of-the-body-keeps-the-score-e4aabf785da4

It does, thank you!

I think smell might be the relevant sense for this thread!

I'm just here because anything fart related cracks me up.

In all seriousness though, now, my brother has always had rank, utterly disgusting, something has died, lingering farts. He's nearly 50 & in reasonable health, no-one ever thought to wonder if he had a medical concern. We all just avoided being in a closed room or vehicle with him

Yet now you realise they were pleas for help all along …

I'm not sure that you needed to disclose his backstory. Doesn't seem relevant to me.

I could never be intimate with a man who wilfully farted in front of me. It's the death of sex.

I'd tell him to put a cork in it or to use the loo. Explain that it's revolting and also repellent.

No one plans farts, they just happen, often without warning

Why are people making disgusting jokes about child sexual abuse? What the actual fuck is wrong with you @Bumcake @oakleaffy?

And I agree with @samarrange , Bessel van der Kolk is a quack and nobody I know in the scientific field takes him seriously. His book has trivialised the word trauma and his oversimplification of complex science has in turn inspired a generation of armchair experts to dole out their unsolicited opinions and advice on people’s (usually women’s) ailments and medical conditions. He has also been accused of bullying and harassment https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2018/03/07/allegations-of-employee-mistreatment-roil-renowned-brookline-trauma-center/?amp=1

Interesting discussion about it here https://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/bessel-van-der-kolk-and-joseph-spinazzola-both-fired-from-their-trauma-research-institute.1301152/

Im starting to wonder if maybe some people do🤷🏻‍♀️?

“ yeees, when I get home tonight …”

“ I’ll save this for when I’m next at Margery’s.”

In fairness, even the very sudden type can normally be quelled unless you are actually in the process of doing squats or similar - although there was a thread in here where people admitted that skill wanes with advancing years.

Probiotics and or yogurt for the good bacteria and also reduced/cut out dairy for a short while in case that's the problem, humans become less tolerant of lactose as we age. (Can get lactose free yogurts)
If it's a recent thing it's certainty worth a GP visit to rule out any issues.

Try him on a vegetarian diet. Might increase the flatulence a little, but nowhere near as smelly.