Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The ick - how to break things off

126 replies

Nanick · 23/06/2024 21:31

Just this weekend I've got the ick with a man I've been casually dating for the last 6 weeks. We finally got round to dtd over the weekend, but for reasons I won't go into we didn't. What a let down. He could get it up, so that wasn't the issue.

There were some other things too - poo related 😳 And I'm just not feeling it.

How do I break it off gently? Dwindle text communication so that he gets the idea? I don't want him to think this is just sex related. Life is so busy at the moment too and I just cba, I'd rather stay single.

OP posts:
Steakandwine · 24/06/2024 14:55

mansplainingsincethe90s · 24/06/2024 14:46

Best breakup I ever received was clear and succinct. Can't remember the exact phrase she used but it was along the lines of:

"I don't want to go out with you anymore, it's nothing you've done I'm just not feeling it."

Best way to be polite and honest, so many people ghost and I guess In my single days that could of been easy (didn't own a mobile) but I was always honest if it wasn't working out

ArcticBells · 24/06/2024 15:38

I've had slow fade and it's really hurtful.

We all love a 💩 thread. Dump and spill OPGrin

Quadrangle · 24/06/2024 18:38

Pump and dump and dump

Catlord · 24/06/2024 19:14

ArcticBells · 24/06/2024 15:38

I've had slow fade and it's really hurtful.

We all love a 💩 thread. Dump and spill OPGrin

Hope any stains don't fade too slowly!

shuggles · 25/06/2024 19:10

All of this talk of "the ick" is very strange and I don't understand it at all.

Are you sure "the ick" isn't a simple case of committment issues? Not wanting to be in a relationship with one person for too long.

PrimaDoner · 25/06/2024 20:08

shuggles · 25/06/2024 19:10

All of this talk of "the ick" is very strange and I don't understand it at all.

Are you sure "the ick" isn't a simple case of committment issues? Not wanting to be in a relationship with one person for too long.

No it’s when someone does something that irretrievably puts you off. Like blows into a hanky like your dad in the 80s or – case in point – wipes their bum on your bedsheets

Everyone’s got a limit 🤷🏻

shuggles · 25/06/2024 20:23

PrimaDoner · 25/06/2024 20:08

No it’s when someone does something that irretrievably puts you off. Like blows into a hanky like your dad in the 80s or – case in point – wipes their bum on your bedsheets

Everyone’s got a limit 🤷🏻

Show quote history

Someone wiping their arse on the bedsheets is an example of someone being outright disgusting and having questionable hygiene and this would be a reasonable basis for ending a relationship with someone.

I'm not sure why using a tissue gives the "ick"- taking normal action to clean body parts is off-putting? That's a strange thing to say.

I have also read that people have gotten the "ick" from people wearing a certain green t-shirt, or by eating sweets. None of these are disgusting and being put off by things like this is more likely to be a simple case of not being able to commit to a relationship.

Original poster
Nanick · 25/06/2024 22:57

Didn't mean to leave you all in suspense and didn't expect this thread to attract so many replies! Some detail was left out deliberately. I've now called it off.

After dinner and drinks out, we went over to his. We were hardly through the door and he announced quite matter of factly that he had leave me for a bit as he needed to go for a poo. I went in shortly after him to freshen up and there were no skids.

There was a bit of foreplay and when it got to it he said his foreskin was really tight and sore from wanking earlier on in the week, sorry. He then tried to make light of it and chuckled that he's a bit of a wanker - obviously trying to save face. It was so cringe, although I did feel sorry for him.

In the morning when I went to the loo, there were skid marks around the toilet bowl. I mean surely he would have been aware of this and cleaned up after himself? 😳

We don't have that much in common either and there were some comments over the weeks that irked me. Otherwise he's a nice guy. Just not for me.

OP posts:
dunkdemunder · 25/06/2024 23:04

Nanick · 25/06/2024 22:57

Didn't mean to leave you all in suspense and didn't expect this thread to attract so many replies! Some detail was left out deliberately. I've now called it off.

After dinner and drinks out, we went over to his. We were hardly through the door and he announced quite matter of factly that he had leave me for a bit as he needed to go for a poo. I went in shortly after him to freshen up and there were no skids.

There was a bit of foreplay and when it got to it he said his foreskin was really tight and sore from wanking earlier on in the week, sorry. He then tried to make light of it and chuckled that he's a bit of a wanker - obviously trying to save face. It was so cringe, although I did feel sorry for him.

In the morning when I went to the loo, there were skid marks around the toilet bowl. I mean surely he would have been aware of this and cleaned up after himself? 😳

We don't have that much in common either and there were some comments over the weeks that irked me. Otherwise he's a nice guy. Just not for me.

I don't understand why wanking earlier in the week would cause a tight foreskin.

Anyway yeah, couldn't be bothered clearing up skid marks on day one. This is when everyone is on their best behaviour

Howbizarre22 · 25/06/2024 23:09

Nanick · 25/06/2024 22:57

Didn't mean to leave you all in suspense and didn't expect this thread to attract so many replies! Some detail was left out deliberately. I've now called it off.

After dinner and drinks out, we went over to his. We were hardly through the door and he announced quite matter of factly that he had leave me for a bit as he needed to go for a poo. I went in shortly after him to freshen up and there were no skids.

There was a bit of foreplay and when it got to it he said his foreskin was really tight and sore from wanking earlier on in the week, sorry. He then tried to make light of it and chuckled that he's a bit of a wanker - obviously trying to save face. It was so cringe, although I did feel sorry for him.

In the morning when I went to the loo, there were skid marks around the toilet bowl. I mean surely he would have been aware of this and cleaned up after himself? 😳

We don't have that much in common either and there were some comments over the weeks that irked me. Otherwise he's a nice guy. Just not for me.

🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

FictionalCharacter · 25/06/2024 23:25

Blimey, he wanked so hard he damaged his knob? Good grief.

XChrome · 26/06/2024 02:33

Nanick · 25/06/2024 22:57

Didn't mean to leave you all in suspense and didn't expect this thread to attract so many replies! Some detail was left out deliberately. I've now called it off.

After dinner and drinks out, we went over to his. We were hardly through the door and he announced quite matter of factly that he had leave me for a bit as he needed to go for a poo. I went in shortly after him to freshen up and there were no skids.

There was a bit of foreplay and when it got to it he said his foreskin was really tight and sore from wanking earlier on in the week, sorry. He then tried to make light of it and chuckled that he's a bit of a wanker - obviously trying to save face. It was so cringe, although I did feel sorry for him.

In the morning when I went to the loo, there were skid marks around the toilet bowl. I mean surely he would have been aware of this and cleaned up after himself? 😳

We don't have that much in common either and there were some comments over the weeks that irked me. Otherwise he's a nice guy. Just not for me.

That is the definition of ick. Disgusting.

Appalonia · 26/06/2024 02:43

FictionalCharacter · 25/06/2024 23:25

Blimey, he wanked so hard he damaged his knob? Good grief.

Oh that made me chuckle!😂

Sorenlorrenson · 26/06/2024 04:34

How does wanking too hard cause a tight foreskin?

olympicsrock · 26/06/2024 04:39

Well done for ending it. You can do better.

rockingbird · 26/06/2024 04:51

He's more than a bit of a wanker 😬😬

Ifyouinsistthen · 26/06/2024 05:44

Going against the grain here - at 6 weeks of casual dating I don’t think he needs a long speech or conversation about why you’re not pursuing things. This isn’t even a relationship. A brief text saying it’s not working/would rather be friends/will be too busy to see him would suffice in my opinion. Also if it was as awkward as you describe he won’t be surprised at all. Sorry about the skid marks!!!

Ifyouinsistthen · 26/06/2024 05:45

Oh sorry - just saw you ended it! Well done!

Sweden99 · 26/06/2024 06:41

Nanick · 23/06/2024 21:31

Just this weekend I've got the ick with a man I've been casually dating for the last 6 weeks. We finally got round to dtd over the weekend, but for reasons I won't go into we didn't. What a let down. He could get it up, so that wasn't the issue.

There were some other things too - poo related 😳 And I'm just not feeling it.

How do I break it off gently? Dwindle text communication so that he gets the idea? I don't want him to think this is just sex related. Life is so busy at the moment too and I just cba, I'd rather stay single.

Be blunt.
"I do not want to continue the relationship. Thank you for the time together but I do not believe we are right for each other and I am ending it".
You do not own an explanation, only being clear.

countcalculia · 26/06/2024 06:42

Maybe he should get circumcised!

greengreyblue · 26/06/2024 06:48

No OP if you’re not feeling it just tell him. Btw those things would put me off too.

Pickled21 · 26/06/2024 07:14

Just be blunt. You don't see this blossoming into a relationship as you aren't well suited. Then block his number and move on. It doesn't have to be a big deal. Don't apologise, it's absolutely fine to realise he isn't what you want.

LlynTegid · 26/06/2024 07:15

Good decision OP.

LoyalMember · 26/06/2024 08:27

Is he into scat stuff? You need to tell us now...

EverythingYouDoIsaBalloon · 26/06/2024 17:13

Why on earth are people saying block? What an overreaction to suggest someone needs to be blocked just because a person has decided to stop dating them.