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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH ignores my boobs, yet his social media is very boob orientated

77 replies

MoonStarsAndRainbows · 06/06/2024 15:44

Been with DH for 10 years, and in that time he has never once shown any interest in my boobs. Never touched them or wanted to see them. I thought it was a bit odd, but left it at that. Some guys are maybe not into boobs I thought.

Anyway, I recently decided to open social media accounts after never really having them before. TikTok, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest. I went to add people from my phone book, and DH was on there (all but Pinterest.

To my surprise he is following purely porn accounts, or good looking women. Most of them are flashing their boobs, so it’s very heavily boob orientated. No particular theme (ie small or extra large boobs, many with boobs my size)

Aside from being pissed off he is drooling over random women, I’m left puzzled as to why he would rather stare at pixels than show interest in my real boobs. I have never turned him down, in fact he is the one with a low sex drive (obviously the right hand is getting the action).

What gives? Why would he prefer random boobs over mine? I feel so hurt and suddenly self conscious about my boobs 🙁

OP posts:
Loocheeyar · 06/06/2024 15:49

Eugh . Men.
my now ex boyfriend would not add me to his social media . When I looked ,same as you , dodgy profiles of some. In underwear . But not me !!??
anyway he’s an ex now .
they are weirdos

coxesorangepippin · 06/06/2024 15:52

Laughed at your right hand is getting all the action comment

Who knows, op

Marblessolveeverything · 06/06/2024 15:57

Some version of the Madonna / Whore complex? Do you have children does he associate your breasts with feeding?

Maddie212 · 06/06/2024 16:02

He needs to unlink his phone number from his wank Instagram account

MoonStarsAndRainbows · 06/06/2024 16:04

With. Sorry you had a creepy crappy boyfriend there too, Loocheeyar.

Yep, his poor hand must be knackered with all these boobs 😂coxesorangepippin!

I have thought of the Madonna Whore Complex thing. But he never really had much of a sex drive before kids. So nothing has changed post kids in that respect

OP posts:
MoonStarsAndRainbows · 06/06/2024 16:04

Maddie212 · 06/06/2024 16:02

He needs to unlink his phone number from his wank Instagram account

Guess his hands are too busy to do that 😂🤦‍♀️

Although, pretty embarrassing for a guy to have his face and name linked to that crap for the world to see. Might as well go around with playboy magazines on his work desk.

OP posts:
ratherbeanywhereelse · 06/06/2024 16:06

I didn't notice stb ex before you wrote husband. Was that an honest mistake?

Marblessolveeverything · 06/06/2024 16:06

He is probably likely lazy, or never really matured into being in a relationship past "Palm and her five sisters"!

MoonStarsAndRainbows · 06/06/2024 16:08

ratherbeanywhereelse · 06/06/2024 16:06

I didn't notice stb ex before you wrote husband. Was that an honest mistake?

Sorry, you lost me there? I haven’t written soon to be ex. He is my DH, although the ‘D’ is firmly in question!

OP posts:
beatrix1234 · 06/06/2024 16:09

It’s amazing how porn will really interfere in relationships, it’s so sad , clearly this man prefers the company of his hand and the booby pixels.

BluLagoon · 06/06/2024 16:13

Apologies side note, but never knew what ‘stb ex’ was until now, so always read it in my head as ‘shit the bed ex’ 😂

MoonStarsAndRainbows · 06/06/2024 16:14

BluLagoon · 06/06/2024 16:13

Apologies side note, but never knew what ‘stb ex’ was until now, so always read it in my head as ‘shit the bed ex’ 😂

Sounds like your version and the official one are one and the same 😂

OP posts:
C1N1C · 06/06/2024 16:16

I'm going to ask the awkward question (forgive me). Do you have nice boobs?

To try and draw an analogy, if your DP had a wonky acorn, but Casanova online had a thermos flask...

If I was going to guess, I'd honestly say the online boobs are an afterthought. Porn stars, OF models etc get their boobs out, but it's what they're doing with their bodies that men look at. The boobs are there, sure, but they're more like background imagery by the time you hit 40.

SamW98 · 06/06/2024 16:17

I can’t get past the fact in 10 years he’s never touched or wanted to see your breasts.

Was this honestly never an issue for you?

MILTOBE · 06/06/2024 16:18

How did you start a serious relationship with a man who didn't pay your breasts any attention at all? I would feel horrible about that and wouldn't want to see him after the first night we spent together.

lostnecklace · 06/06/2024 16:20

I couldn't respect this man. His bags would be packed if I found this. Eeew!

MoonStarsAndRainbows · 06/06/2024 16:21

C1N1C · 06/06/2024 16:16

I'm going to ask the awkward question (forgive me). Do you have nice boobs?

To try and draw an analogy, if your DP had a wonky acorn, but Casanova online had a thermos flask...

If I was going to guess, I'd honestly say the online boobs are an afterthought. Porn stars, OF models etc get their boobs out, but it's what they're doing with their bodies that men look at. The boobs are there, sure, but they're more like background imagery by the time you hit 40.

It’s hard to be objective about your own body, but I don’t think they are the wonky Tesco value veg of boobs.
🤷‍♀️

Although I am left with doubts now!

OP posts:
bluetopazlove · 06/06/2024 16:25

It's obviously just the image of he himself likes to produce .Why he himself likes to produce ?

I

Catandsquirrel · 06/06/2024 16:30

Does he avoid other parts of your body (e.g. giving oral or other foreplay) or specifically boobs? Could he just be awful at sex?

mummytojoseph · 06/06/2024 16:34

He sounds like a creepy sleaze bag.

S00tyandSweep · 06/06/2024 17:03

Ask him.

Say "when you look at tits online but ignore mine and regularly wank but starve your wife of intimacy and sexual affection, it makes me feel like I've married a teenage boy rather than a man; can you explain why I should feel differently to that?"

Cantrushart · 06/06/2024 17:18

MoonStarsAndRainbows · 06/06/2024 16:21

It’s hard to be objective about your own body, but I don’t think they are the wonky Tesco value veg of boobs.
🤷‍♀️

Although I am left with doubts now!

Please don't start doubting your boobs, I'm sure that they are just fine. Presumably he saw them before you got married. The problem is his and his alone.

Tiredofthis888 · 06/06/2024 17:26

I’ve had this with my DH and I’m disgusted with it.

YouveGotAFastCar · 06/06/2024 17:28

This would give me the ick so fast, and I’m not sure I’d ever recover. It won’t just be you who has looked him up and found this 🤢

and presumably he’s a grown man, not a 17 year old…

eurgh

FrancisSeaton · 06/06/2024 17:28

Very strange
The more I hear about these men the more I'm happy to never have anything to do with them

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