DH ignores my boobs, yet his social media is very boob orientated

[MoonStarsAndRainbows]

Been with DH for 10 years, and in that time he has never once shown any interest in my boobs. Never touched them or wanted to see them. I thought it was a bit odd, but left it at that. Some guys are maybe not into boobs I thought.

Anyway, I recently decided to open social media accounts after never really having them before. TikTok, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest. I went to add people from my phone book, and DH was on there (all but Pinterest.

To my surprise he is following purely porn accounts, or good looking women. Most of them are flashing their boobs, so it’s very heavily boob orientated. No particular theme (ie small or extra large boobs, many with boobs my size)

Aside from being pissed off he is drooling over random women, I’m left puzzled as to why he would rather stare at pixels than show interest in my real boobs. I have never turned him down, in fact he is the one with a low sex drive (obviously the right hand is getting the action).

What gives? Why would he prefer random boobs over mine? I feel so hurt and suddenly self conscious about my boobs 🙁

My ex was like this. For the first 2 years he never saw or touched my boobs. And I have nice boobs! And they're big.

The last year of our relationship I had to keep nagging him to touch them and he would.

I left him.

He then slept with 4 women and touched all of their boobs straight away... seemed mega excited about their boobs.

He also had a porn addiction and paid for OF girls.

He's my ex.

I agree with your post for the most part but to suggest her partner is looking at the woman's faces is laughable. We all know that won't be the case.

could it be porn addiction?

Maybe he likes the whole image, whereas you are focusing on boobs.

How on earth do you know he touched their boobs??!!

I was wondering that too.

And me three! Just... how?! 😅

I always read it as stupid bastard ex🤣

Porny shit on ordinary social media is gross.

You have been with him for 10 years. And he has always had a low sex drive and no interest in your boobs. You married him with that being a known fact about him.

Why does it matter now?

Are you bored or unhappy in the marriage otherwise? You don’t need any reasons to leave - being unhappy is enough.

As to his IG - no one but jealous GFs/ Ws checks who people follow. So - this is often said with 😱 on MN - but ‘The World’ does not care.

He may or may not masturbate to those pics. But I suspect - this is not the real issue here.

He took great delight in telling me about touching their boobs, spiteful bastard. One of the women he slept with gave me every bit of detail, because he slept with her while we were trying to fix things... to this day I don't know if she was doing it to be nice and tell me what he was doing, or just being horrible.

I'm so sorry you've found yourself in this situation op. I counsel porn/sex addicts as well as betrayed partners.

It is nothing to do with your body at all. You could be a supermodel"insert your definition of ultimate beauty/attractiveness" he would still be participating in these activities and ignoring whoever he had as a partner.

It's highly likely your partner does find you extremely attractive. He isn't looking for human connection he is purely looking for distraction dopamine numbing out no expectations of him. No work required from him to consider another human. He won't be seeing these other women as humans just sexual objects.

He most likely has engaged in these habits since he was a young teenager or earlier. Parts of the brain actually gets stunted at this age. Hence the immaturity.The longer it goes on the worse it gets. He will be stuck in shame likely to make it all your fault should you confront him.

Please go over to reddit love after porn for wonderful resources and support.
Check out omar minwhalla secret sexual basement and integrity abuse.
Helping couples heal podcast.

It's entirely a him issue op that highly likely started before he even met you. This is how he copes with life. There is a massive amount of abuse and entitlement that goes with this behaviour. It's not something you have to forgive or "put up with" make the best decisions for your wellbeing op and he should do the same thats his responsibility but no one can force him into recovery.

I'd reccomend pbse podcast for him. 12 step and a csat/apsat. Porn on the brain website as well. But that's his responsibility to do and he will be fully able to do that for himself if he chooses. It's not on you op to "rescue" him. It's also not possible to do.

Sorry, hang on a minute. Your DH of 10 years has NEVER TOUCHED YOUR BOOBS?!?!

WTF?! How is this even possible?!?!

Same!!!

Nice to know I wasn't being stupid thinking that🤣🤣

@Devilsmommy I though it meant stupid bastard ex too 😂Although now I see that doesn't totally work, 'stupid twat bastard ex' would though!

In my head it was STupid Bastard eX 😃

@Starlight1979 yep, same! I'm wondering how many threads I've not quite understood now. Ah well.

Need to go and reread some which will probably make a bit more sense now 😂

Also wondering what other abbreviations I've misunderstood 😂

I would agree with this ^^ porn is an easy way to get sexual satisfaction, it doesn’t need much effort, or say no , or ask for its boobs to be touched 🤷🏻

He could be looking at their faces, or the overall shapes and curves of their outline, they just happen to have boobs too

That is one ofnthe most ridiculous things I've ever read on here.

How many men have you actually met who would completely ignore or not even notice boobs because they were studying a face or overall shape of their outline.

There's trying to make a poster feel better and then there's talking utter bollocks.

Bet if you had your boobs as a pf pic he would be adding that up straight away lol

Not if DH stands for dick head

I agree with posters that are basically saying he’s a lazy fucker who is likely porn addicted and it’s easier for him to get off to that than a real woman. A lot of men absolutely love to please in bed, he doesn’t sound like one of them, he sounds like it’s all about the end goal, and so wanking is just easier for him, but he doesn’t see the damage it’s doing to you and your relationship. Have you actually talked to him about this, as ten years of no boob touching is a lot, I mean no way could I hold that in for even a day, like the first time you ever had sex didn’t you think wait a minute, this is a bit odd, and eventually have a discussion? If you want to resolve it I reckon he needs to knock the porn on the head and focus on the real woman in front of him