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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've got myself into a mess

77 replies

WhatthehellamIgoingtodonow · 09/01/2024 08:53

Just that really! On/off relationship with affair partner (off when he can't be bothered to contact me). I'm married, he is divorced. I love him to bits, him not so. No gifts ever, not even a Xmas gift! Blows hot and cold. I cling to my phone waiting for the next text - the battery is flat by the end of the work day because I keep checking it. Constantly trying for the validation of what it was like in the first place, funny texts etc (usual format). Marriage over, children grown up and I am alone. Tried counselling but I even lied to the counsellor. I know it serves me right and I deserve a flaming but I just dont know what to do.

OP posts:
Cosywintertime · 09/01/2024 16:43

Does he know you’ve seperated.? I mean it wasn’t there in your op. And seems to be an odd drop in , like oh yeah I told him and we agreed to separate. Made me think it was nonsense.

look you offered the guy sex. He doesn’t want a relationship with you. Grab hold of what little is left of your dignity and move on.

ItsBeenRaining · 09/01/2024 16:54

Does he know you’ve seperated.? I mean it wasn’t there in your op. And
seems to be an odd drop in , like oh yeah I told him and we agreed to
separate. Made me think it was nonsense.

Well op did say she'd lied to the councellor. This was a very flippant remark regarding the husband, so who knows.

Op you've had the high, now comes the low, this is part and parcel of the game for players, they not only get pleasure from chasing you, they gain pleasure from breaking up marriages, destroying your reputation and from seeing you in distress and pain.

In fact I would say the crawling desperation is the ultimate high for them and quite in line with someone who has sadistic tendancies.
You gave this man access, are still giving him access to your mind, he is controlling you like a puppet.

Now stop and try to think of others, your husband, your children anyone but him, he doesn't like you, he thinks you are weak and pathetic.

It's just a game and you have to stop playing now because you are losing.

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