Hubby wont get his passport renewed

[karenza83]

what would you do. we are due to go away in 6 weeks for my birthday, it is a special one and booked back in march. when booking mine and my hubs passport was due to run out in august, so we decided that we would wait to update them. here is the thing - I have, all sorted and back. I have raised this several times with my husband and he just is like yeah yeah yeah. i really dont know what to do. i have kind of given up asking, this is something that he needs to do. he looks so diffrent to the picture from ten years ago.
do i just stop asking and let him miss out.
do i just try and use his old photo and hope for the best.
do i just go on my own and try and enjoy it as best i can.

You'll not be going with him. So, best friend or on your own?

I'm going to assume that your husband is not your best friend, as that's not how someone who cares for you behaves.

He could have it all done in a few days if he just did it online.
There is more to this and I would give him one last chance to explain, then set about arranging to go with someone else. There will be a fee to change tickets to another name though, so you had better look into it now.
Then I would consider whether you still want to stay married to someone so unreasonable.

He must be thick if he thinks he can go on an expired passport. It’s got nothing to do with him not looking like his photo anymore.

If he is not stressing about it, why should you? Good riddance.

I don’t understand what you mean by this?

do i just try and use his old photo and hope for the best.

What is there for you to try, are you thinking you will be going through passport control carrying his passport for him?

Go without him. Experience life as it can be when not dragging dead weight with you. You might not want to go back.

'Hubs' doesn't want to go and thinks that you won't go without him

I'd be sashaying off to my flight with a cheery 2 finger wave to him

🤣🤣🤣

I wouldn't remind him again but start to thinking is there any one else you can invite. Then about a week before ask if he has done it and if not invite someone and just ask for transfer costs

Tell him you have asked around friends to see if anyone want his place on the trip.

Don’t remind him. Don’t do it for him. Give it until a week before then make plans to take someone else. If you can’t find someone else go alone and use the time to reflect on your relationship and his choices.
I hope you have a lovely time whatever the outcome

Have a think about your future op.

What do you think this says about his feelings towards you?

He can't be arsed to spend ten minutes doing his passport to go on a special birthday holiday with you.

Unless he's like this about everything, I imagine he doesn't want to go. Is there a reason he might want to stay at home? Does he have something planned with his mates/family/hobby that he hasn't dared to tell you about because it's your special birthday trip? Has he developed a fear of flying or is nervous about the chosen destination? Is he having an affair!

Sit him calmly down and speak to him. Tell him you will be going without him and judge his reaction.

Reading between the lines a bit here, he believes that his admin is your responsibility. It sounds to me as though you are planning to do the application for him but need him to get a new photo, which is why you are wondering if you can just proceed with the old photo.

There are a few potential reasons why he's refusing to even get a photo done, and I have to say that none of them that I can think of are benign. It's possible that he doesn't want to go on this holiday, either because it's a treat for you and the world ought to be all about him or because he just doesn't fancy it. Or, he quite enjoys keeping you off-balance and stressed (nasty) and will do it at the last minute when he has achieved maximum upset, possibly enough upset that you don't enjoy the holiday. Or he genuinely doesn't see why he should exert any effort on his own behalf when he has a slave available to do it for him, even if it's verging on impossible he expects you to put the effort in and find a work around.

So, here is a potential work around if you are his admin slave. Find where all the photo places/photo machines are, often pharmacies will do it so have a look there too. Go somewhere for any reason and pass by one of these places, take him by the arm and say "let's just get it done, it'll only take a minute" and refuse to go onward until he's had his photo taken. Then do all his admin for the application.

If you don't want to be his admin slave forever then just ignore the issue and go by yourself, be vaguely sympathetic but don't accept responsibility when he kicks off about it all being your fault.

He can download an app, take a photo on his phone (actually it is easier to get someone to take it for him) it takes a couple of minutes and costs about £5. Then it costs £80 and other 10 minutes to apply online and usually less than a week for the passport to come. A trip to the post office is the only errand requiring him to leave the house.
He doesn't want to do it.

This- tell him straight. He’s got one week to apply, or you’ll invite a friend.

Go without him.

It's what I did when my husband dithered about renewing his passport.

I reminded him a thousand times, put reminders on the calendar and fridge (where all family notices go). When it came time to pack for the holiday he panicked and tried to get one of those rush renewals done. As we were leaving in the morning it still wasn't enough time.

He expected me and our son not to go!

Couldn't believe him.

He turned up on the holiday 5 days late and wasted loads of money. Prat.

Make it clear you are going regardless of him being able to go or not.
Also make it clear you aren't his admin slave so he can get up off his arse and renew it himself. Or not. He'll be the one sitting at home while you are having a great time.

Dad did this to DM once. He dragged his feet about agreeing to go on a long haul holiday, so she got fed up and booked it with her best friend instead. Then once he did finally decide to go, the booking couldn't be changed, nor were any flights available. So he had to stay home on his tod for three weeks and hated it.

After that, he never dithered ever again.

Is he expecting the OP to call off her trip because he (deliberately) avoided getting a passport? If so, and it was me, I'd be opening the Yellow Pages at D for Divorce.

There is a fast track renewal service available. I’d tell him one last time, very sternly, that he’s already outside of the 10 weeks necessary for passport renewal so if he is planning on coming on this trip he can pay for a fast track renewal or you’re going without him.

and follow through.

oh, and then divorce him. What a waste of oxygen.

just read this, that seems to make a lot of sence. lookign back he has done this at lots of occations. maybe this time i have decided that I will leave for him to sort.

that did make me chuckle - I will be going what ever

Leave him at home...

‘Reply’ means reply to the thread, not any particular comment.

new to this, so that is great, how do i reply to a direct message. thank you

If you want to do his admin for him. There is an app called photo aid that you can use to take his passport photo. You just take a photo in good lighting, you don't need any special background. It erases everything in the background. The photo is approved by a person in minutes and you get a download code to put on the passport application.
It is so quick and easy. I used it for 5 of our passports and they were all approved.

apps.apple.com/gb/app/passport-photo-uk-aid-photo-id/id1500544448

However, if you suspect that he is deliberately sabotaging the trip. I'd call whoever the booking is with and swap him for a friend before it is too late. If his desire is to sabotage your special birthday, you will enjoy the trip more without him.