Hubby wont get his passport renewed

[karenza83]

what would you do. we are due to go away in 6 weeks for my birthday, it is a special one and booked back in march. when booking mine and my hubs passport was due to run out in august, so we decided that we would wait to update them. here is the thing - I have, all sorted and back. I have raised this several times with my husband and he just is like yeah yeah yeah. i really dont know what to do. i have kind of given up asking, this is something that he needs to do. he looks so diffrent to the picture from ten years ago.
do i just stop asking and let him miss out.
do i just try and use his old photo and hope for the best.
do i just go on my own and try and enjoy it as best i can.

Its 1 of 2 things here. He either hopes you will just do it all for him or he doesn't really want to go. Call his bluff and just don't mention it again then go without him.

A studio photographer can submit the new picture online as soon as he takes it, email your husband the link to complete the application, he fills it in right away... Mine arrived within the week.

Can you change the name on his ticket? Take a friend or family member instead.

He’s an adult. Tell him one more time to renew it and that if he doesn’t get it back in time you will still be going without him. Then sit back, stop stressing, and get ready for your holiday. You’re sorted, and going regardless.
Oh and you’re his wife, not his mother. He can pack his own damn suitcase too.

Thank you all. I shall not mention it again I think. I am tired of getting him to be intrested so prob best that I go on my own and enjoy the trip.

He sounds a bit like my ex. He would push everything to the last minute that was important to me, and I can only assume enjoyed the power of watching me get stressed.

Thankfully I came to my senses.

I think I'd let him know that you are going in the trip with or without him, what he does (or doesn't do!) is not going to affect your enjoyment of your special trip. Honestly if he doesn't renew his passport I think that would be it for me, I couldn't be with someone who shows me that much disrespect that they would deliberately do something like that.

If you booked in March and both your passports were going to expire in a few months, why didn’t you just renew them at the time? Especially with all the delays at the passport office. Was it his idea to wait? Coz it sounds like he wasn’t interested in this from the very start of booking it.

What do you mean by just try to use the old photo? Were you suggested that he attempt to travel on an expired passport? You know they won’t let him check in, right? It has nothing to do with an old photo or how much he resembles it. The passport is no longer a valid document. He can “just try” to travel using it.

Depending on where you are going you need to have at least 3 months left on your passport from the date you leave the country you are visiting.
I had to renew my passport 6 months early because of this, I was going to be a couple of days over the limit due to travelling home through a third country. So do check the dates on your own passport OP.
This has become a much bigger issue since Brexit.

Oh. sorry, just seen that you have renewed yours OP.

The fuck is wrong with him? What a twat.

Is he trying to deliberately ruin it? Does he have form for that kind of behaviour?

Next time you’re out in a shopping centre or big supermarket, frog march him to one of those photo booths and get him to take a photo there and then. Then apply for his passport renewal yourself. If it’s just pure inertia on his part, he’ll be happy for you to do it for him. (Pathetic as that may be for a grown man.) If he resists, he’s using no passport as an excuse not to go on the trip so you have bigger problems.

Hmm...yeah...I did wonder if this was the case. Ask me how I know! 😫

Maybe this is the occasion, you put a stop to these mind games he plays with you.

It's your birthday. A new year of your life. How about making this the year you think about whether you want to continue this relationship?

Speaking from experience, living with passive-aggressive behaviour will bleed you dry and make you lose the will to live. It's a subtle, underhand form of behaviour, but it's abuse all the same.

Like a pp said, this man is a dead weight to carry around.

Yep

When it's all too late for him to come, and he sees you taking charge of your trip and making other plans, when he realises he is not going to be able to spoil it for you, just watch him start whining and guilting you into feeling bad about going without him.

So remember to say that you understood he didn't want to go and you wouldn't dream of forcing him, but that he shouldn't worry, you'll have a FANTASTIC time with your best friend/whoever.

Smile sweetly and give him a big wave as you head out the door 😀

My ex did this...when together. I booked holiday to greece...i renewed my passport... reminded him to do his... 3x. I had decided to stop carrying him. I used to do it all... passports for holidays...clothes shopping hols, packing everyones cases... organising start to finish.
Stopped asking him. He had enough warning and reminders.id had enough.
Night before (yep) airport he decided to try to pack his case because id packed mine not his..."wheres new holiday clothes" he said "in the shop" i said.
He flipped "you're going to ruin this holiday " lol ....
I ignored it.
He thought i had renewed his passport, i hadn't. Ended up taking my friend and changing names on paperwork etc. His face was a picture.." wtf you didn't remind me to do passport" and "why didn't you just do mine when you did yours?"
Because youre a lazy fucker who expected me to organise lot and im fed up with it. He lost his temper and said if you go we are done ..i said have a good time at home and went on holiday.
He text me really nasty texts..i just blocked him for 2 week. He was still at home when i got back...still fuming. We broke up eventually because he was a cheat who was misogynistic, sexist, lazy bastard. Get rid

Well done getting rid of your awful ex and standing your ground like that! 😃

@flaxentoad ty. He was a twat. User... opportunist... lazy (did i mention that 🤣)..25 years of it. Every holiday i had to organise start to end... he just enjoyed the fruits of my labour... no effort needed from him. I also paid for every holiday (on better money)...not even a ty. So that holiday i asked for half the money, ge promised and promised..week before he said he would give it me back in increments after the holiday. (Red flags all over). I wasnt happy... already paid. So ...my friend gave me all money in one go and came with me. Most relaxing holiday ive had. Not running about after everyone at lunch, to get up, to go on a walk to see sights, day trips out around greece, hand washing daily clothes , etc. i just did me ..it was liberating. 🤣

Just the thought of the years ahead of you stuck with carrying that dead weight....would make your blood run cold.

I am so glad you loved yourself too much to stay with that wanker!

Oh yes, all of this!

If this is typical for him, then stand back. Do not help. I'd happily be a friend on standby (and be fine if it fell through and dh got himself sorted), so it may be worth seeing if anyone can come with. Or go alone, not sure where you are off too, but solo travelling seems like such a luxury - no one to have to compromise for.

Nah OP don't do that 🙄

This is maybe what you'd do with your 13 year old. Is this how your marriage works? You parenting him?

Fuck that.

I just did a renewal for my daughter, it took about 20 minutes including taking and uploading her photo. It arrived 9 days after submitting the application. You can do it for him if he will stand still against a pale background.

I appreciate that you very much may not want to do it for him.

Sod that.