Husband on Sex Site

[Elzibells]

I have discovered an account for my husband on a sex site. The account has been open for a short amount of time. It is 100% him. It is quite clear from the profile he is after sex. I do not think anything has occurred yet, it appears to be just a profile. We have been together 9 years, married for 5 years and have a toddler. Our relationship has not been prioritised since the baby came, sex is rare but neither of us has made much effort in that department. Neither of us had ever had particularly high sex drives in the past. I'm just looking for a general opinion on what others would do as I have no one to confide in, it's consuming me. Would you confront him now or get more evidence? Would you set up a profile yourself and message him? Or wait and see what happens? Is it just as bad/deceitful if I set up a profile and 'honeytrap' him? TIA

I'm kind of the same as you @Elzibells as in I know my H is looking for stuff (what else could 'shag hunt' be, ffs?!) but still I want more proof that he really is doing something wrong and I'm still waiting. Both you and I know that we need to confront our Hs. But to me, maybe to you too, it somehow doesn't feel real enough.

@Elzibells
Is your marriage a game or a sport? Why in the world w.ould your thoughts go to a honey trap? _You know with certainty that he is doing this ; what other confirmation do you need?

You are at the point that you need to inform him of whatever steps you feel are required to attempt to save or end your marriage.

You don't need to play Sherlock. You say that you know with 100% certainly that the profile is his. What would sleuthing prove?

More 1950 really, as at least by 1970 it was accepted that women have 'needs' too!

This is what confuses me.

I remember 1970. 1950 is just history to me.

What happened @Elzibells ?

Men do have needs, women have needs, PEOPLE have needs, of course they do, that's life BUT signing up to sex sites behind your partner's/spouse's back is the most destructive and damaging way of dealing with the lack of communication around those needs. Shock waves will resound for many years.

You have the two options that people have pointed out. Confront or honey trap. Do you want to tempt your DH into cheating on you or do you want to improve communication between you both to see if this relationship is salvageable before he makes the biggest bad choice of his life??

If you confront him now he’ll say it wasn’t him. When you prove it is him he’ll say he wasn’t going to actually meet anyone. If you arrange to meet him he’ll say he knew it was you or that he wouldn’t have gone through with it.

Why confront at all? It’s really just a delaying tactic. Your time would be better spent quietly getting your ducks in a row to leave him.

"Men have needs"!!!!!!!

My interpretation: "men are selfish bastards who, deep-down, think having their cake, eating it and having it all again is a God-given right personally handed to them by God".

Men have needs you know 😜 🤣
Well we all have basic needs, some men have sexual wants which they call basic needs 🤣
Always makes me laugh when I hear this.
What a tosser, straight in the bin.