Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Meeting times for affair?

88 replies

Fritillarybounce · 02/08/2022 13:00

How likely is it a man and a woman would meet up early morning on a dog walk if they were having an affair and/or having casual sex? By early I mean five thirty in the morning and the walk is a large area of field/woodland next to housing.

OP posts:
YoSofi · 02/08/2022 13:09

In my experience, people having an affair will meet anywhere, at any time, for a shag.

Janie92 · 02/08/2022 13:16

Do either of them live near the housing you mention? If so the 5:30 "dog walk" could lead to the bedroom.
Having said that, I'd be pushed to have sex at 5:30 in the morning even if it was with Chris Hemsworth! But then again I'd need to give it a try to rule it out.
Hope this isn't your other half.. although I'm guessing it is. I think you need to have a chat with them..

KarlWrenbury · 02/08/2022 13:17

YoSofi · 02/08/2022 13:09

In my experience, people having an affair will meet anywhere, at any time, for a shag.

This

RedTonight · 02/08/2022 13:20

For a while yes, but after a while, so if it’s been going on for a while I very much doubt they shag at 5:30 in the morning and it probably is just a dog walk. If they can go back to the other persons house though then probably are. It’s cold at 5:30 in the morning

Original poster
Fritillarybounce · 02/08/2022 13:27

Me and OH live in the housing. Last year he got a STD and confessed to a ONS four years prior when he was away with his mates. I forgave him and we moved on.
He had been acting a bit strange during lockdown two years ago though, for a few months. Taking the dog for early walks without waking me. It only lasted a few months then things were back to normal.
I always ruled out him meeting someone because it was so early and didn't think any woman would meet him for sex that early in the morning outside. I thought I was paranoid. But I've just read a story about a woman who did precisely that during lockdown. Having quick sex in the woods. Now wondering if it was a local person after all.

OP posts:
Wombat27A · 02/08/2022 13:34

A few years ago, there was a massive thread on here about a woman putting her dog out for a late night wee and hearing people in her hedge shagging...

It went on for a while and was more than once.

Morning people would be up for a shag at 5.30 am. Morning wood and all.

Wombat27A · 02/08/2022 13:35

I would also think the STD was more recent than a latant attack from an ancient ons...

Cantbeliveyoufakeit · 02/08/2022 13:35

Whether he was shagging someone or not do you really want to be in a relationship where you have to wonder? Carrying that distrust and suspicion around with you must feel grim for you, wouldn't you rather be free to start again with someone new you can actually trust? Or not, being single is good too, frankly anything would be better than the way your OH is making you feel Flowers

Janie92 · 02/08/2022 13:37

Cantbeliveyoufakeit · 02/08/2022 13:35

Whether he was shagging someone or not do you really want to be in a relationship where you have to wonder? Carrying that distrust and suspicion around with you must feel grim for you, wouldn't you rather be free to start again with someone new you can actually trust? Or not, being single is good too, frankly anything would be better than the way your OH is making you feel Flowers

So true.. OP I'm guessing you don't want to be alone, hence why you forgave him the first time. But if you're carrying this around then you need to talk to him about it and work out what reaction you'd be happy with, honesty maybe? Any other response you need to make the decision to leave..

ComtesseDeSpair · 02/08/2022 13:38

Unless your partner is some kind of bronzed, toned Adonis with a penis made of solid gold, I can’t see why any woman would be so desperate for a shag with him that she’d want to have it at 5:30 in the morning in the bushes whilst the family Labrador looked on.

But yes, it’s obviously a possibility. He doesn’t sound like a prince among men, does he? Is trying to forgive him and then having to live with the lack of trust forevermore really worth it? Is he even genuinely sorry?

Narwhalelife · 02/08/2022 13:40

Another good reason why scientists should create a dog communication device (I just want this I can ask my dog why she won’t get in her new bed! 🤣)

and 5:30am sex in a bush is not something I’d consider - but I wouldn’t put it past some people.

sorry OP if this is your situation x

thenewduchessoflapland · 02/08/2022 13:45

I saw something in a daily fail type newspaper article where the bloke had been disappearing for long dogs walks;the female half of the couple took the dog out whilst the bloke was out and thé let the dog take the lead on the walk;he walked her straight to a woman's door a few streets away.

KarlWrenbury · 02/08/2022 13:57

I am roaring at the Labrador. Maybe if it were a pekinese it would be ok.

Veiaola · 02/08/2022 13:59

It’s possible with the hook up sites that he may have met up with someone. Just shocking how many people are using these sites risking them selves to stds but that could be a whole new thread on its own. Can u get access to his emails to see if there is anything from hook up sites. An before anyone shouts that it’s not wrong, there is no way he going to admit to it without proof. However after saying all of the above he’s done it before, you will never trust him, leave now for your own sanity.

Unforgettablefire · 02/08/2022 14:13

You could buy a tracker and put it in the dogs collar if you think he's up to no good.

Summerhasbeenandgone · 02/08/2022 14:15

Wombat you are mistaken - the conclusion it was hedgehogs!
Except for the finger up the bum request.. Shaggers that time!!

Branster · 02/08/2022 14:15

Nobody over 20 years old looks remotely attractive at 5:30AM walking their dog. Under 20s wouldn't be up that early for the purpose of walking the family dog.

OP, are you saying DH used to walk the dog at 5:30AM during lockdown on a frequent basis and that you read some confession of a woman who was doing the same in order to meet up some man and have sex on the very early dog walk? How do you know the woman's writing is truthful? How do you know it was a woman who wrote that?
It sounds like the most bizarre story ever.

And if you can't trust your DH it doesn't matter what did or did not happen.

I don't think it takes 4 years for a transmissible STD to manifest itself on the cheated partner. That's the real problem here. If it definitely was from him, then he could have caught it anywhere but a lot more recent than 4 or 2 years ago.

bubblesbubbles11 · 02/08/2022 14:17

Why don't you set your alarm and make sure you are awake when he leaves the house and say you want to come too. Make up some excuse (fancy some early morning exercise etc) then watch his reaction.

Oopsiedaisyy · 02/08/2022 14:20

I had an affair and probably would have tbh, although, given i didnt have a dog might have been a bit hard to believe 😂

I did use to meet AP while he was off for a "long ride"

sunshineandstrawberryjam · 02/08/2022 14:21

If Henry Cavill himself were to be found at the end of my 5.30 am run with the dog, I would manage a kind of token nod of the head and maybe a grunt as I shambled past. There is no less sexy environment out there. Obvs, nowt so queer as folk but it seems unlikely to me.

Belephant · 02/08/2022 14:25

Branster · 02/08/2022 14:15

Nobody over 20 years old looks remotely attractive at 5:30AM walking their dog. Under 20s wouldn't be up that early for the purpose of walking the family dog.

OP, are you saying DH used to walk the dog at 5:30AM during lockdown on a frequent basis and that you read some confession of a woman who was doing the same in order to meet up some man and have sex on the very early dog walk? How do you know the woman's writing is truthful? How do you know it was a woman who wrote that?
It sounds like the most bizarre story ever.

And if you can't trust your DH it doesn't matter what did or did not happen.

I don't think it takes 4 years for a transmissible STD to manifest itself on the cheated partner. That's the real problem here. If it definitely was from him, then he could have caught it anywhere but a lot more recent than 4 or 2 years ago.

I agree about the STD bit with the exception of herpes - I believe herpes can lie dormant for quite a while, or at least it can go on without notable symptoms and be undiagnosed for many years? Maybe I'm wrong, but that's what I thought.

WoozieFloozie · 02/08/2022 14:28

One of DH's colleagues apparently goes for 'hikes' or a 'run' early daily.
He's not running or hiking, he hooks up for shagging/oral sex etc. (I'd love to inform his wife but we don't know any of their contact information as DH is not particularly friends with this guy)

ArcticSkewer · 02/08/2022 14:29

YoSofi · 02/08/2022 13:09

In my experience, people having an affair will meet anywhere, at any time, for a shag.

This

Icecreamclassic · 02/08/2022 14:38

You're all characterising affairs as all about sex. They're not always, they can be relationships like any other.

When I had an affair (nearly 20 years ago, very much a one off, never to be repeated, lots of lessons learned for me) we met up for coffee before work. It was all about stealing time together as much as sex. If we'd lived closeish and both had dogs, that would definitely have happened, although for the time together and a bit of a snog, not sex in the woods.

We didn't actually have sex that frequently, for lack of opportunity.

WTF475878237NC · 02/08/2022 14:39

Why don't you set your alarm and make sure you are awake when he leaves the house and say you want to come too. Make up some excuse (fancy some early morning exercise etc) then watch his reaction.

^ if you feel you need proof this is a good idea.

In my experience when in the height of limerance during an affair, people will do anything to get the high of feeling wanted, seen, alive, "like themselves again" etc. Including getting up early or not going to sleep at all!