Hi everyone, I'm new here and my friend recommended I come in for support and advice.
My husband of 16 months and I are are deliriously happy-we are the couple that people envy-our sex life is great, we have such a healthy happy relationship, a beautiful home, everything is good.
However last Monday evening I raised a conversation as I knew something wasn't quite right. He said that he felt something was missing and he couldn't put his finger on it. We don't really argue although there has been some very minor bickering lately. He said that he wanted to spend some time at his parents and he's been there since. We spoke and texted for the first few days (mainly me begging for answers and for him to come home) and in the last few days we haven't spoken at all as he requested space because apparently I'm a bit needy, so I've left him alone which was so tough. Last night after 3 days of radio silence I messaged and said I've respected your space but we need to talk. He is coming home tonight. I don't have a good feeling judging from his business-like tone and subsequent silence although he answered me straight away when I suggested meeting.
I just don't know what's going on. We have just bought a new build house, have a dog and a holiday booked for April. He promises there is no one else as we made a commitment to each other in the beginning that we would always be honest about this if anything happened as we've both experienced something in the past and there are no signs (increased phone use/secrecy/lack of intimacy) to suggest this at all. Like I say, I am attentive and we are intimate every night so he's not looking for anything here. He is the happiest, loveliest man on earth and I'm hoping that he's just going through something in his head and withdrawing back to his man cave for space, but I don't know. He is estranged from him children and has been for years due to parental alienation. We tried to fight but the children have been so poisoned they just don't want to know. He has said that there is a hole in him which he doesn't think can be filled and we know this is the kids but he keeps looking for other reasons. My mother hasn't been too well recently and we both have stressful jobs and I keep thinking maybe I've leaned on him too much and he has just got to the point where he can't face my problems as well as his own. He said he wanted us to do more together but wonders if we're on the same path anymore. I have literally not seen this coming. I can't eat, sleep or function. The dr has just signed me off work as my job is stressful, and I'm mum to 2 kids (he's been in their lives for 6 yrs) who need me but I can't stop torturing myself. I'm hoping he will come home later and admit that the problems aren't in our marriage but with his trauma from his children and we'll work through it. What should I do? How do I cope? While I want support and advice please be kind. This is an incredible man, so affectionate and thoughtful and everything he's demonstrating now is so out of character.