Secret planning to leave DH - days to go .

[Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme]

Hi there - previous thread started with DH AWOL , arrested for drink driving . Final straw for me in out marriage , planning to leave in secret on Thursday. 6 days to go . Feeling shit about everything - pain the kids will have to go through , pain and upset his family and him . Wishing he was a reasonable person enough that we could separate amicably. Wishing I could predict which way this is going to go- hating the double life I am currently leading . started this thread just for the hand holding whilst the proverbial hits the fan over the next 7 days !

You’re amazing. Welcome to your new life.

Well done. Enjoy your new life.

Phew! Well done @Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme!! And well done to your sisters and friends too. You must have been on tenterhooks all day. And well done for just sitting back in your new living room with a glass of wine and de-stressing for a little while.

Jobs to do (sorry) if not already done:

• Change the passwords on any bank accounts of yours even if you don't think he knows them - just in case. You never know..
• change the passwords on any accounts you had at your old home (eg Netflix)
• remove your name from any utility bills you were responsible for including internet
• let the Council know your new address and claim your 25% single occupier discount. You can do that online.
• let your bank know your new details as well as your HR and Payroll departments at work
• if your husband is named as someone financially benefiting from you at work (eg death in service) remove him (maybe name your children instead?)
• go online and do a change of address request for your mail. (Takes 5 working days to take effect)

www.royalmail.com/start-your-redirection

• switch off Location on your mobile and your children's phones.

Treat yourself gently for a while OP you've been living on adrenaline for quite a while so your energy may slump for a bit so continue to accept help where offered and hug your kids.

Here's to a better life from here onwards. 🌹🍷🌈

Well done. Very happy for you and your children. Enjoy the rest of your life!!! Xx

So relieved! Welcome to freedom Op

OP, have you had any contact from your DH?

Fantastic! Well done x.

Phew. I am very proud of you and I think this should go into classics to show it can be done.

So glad to see your update OP, that's fabulous news!

Admire your strength - you’re an amazing mother to pull your kids out of this. I hope you build a new, happier and more stable life. X

I would love to have been a fly on the wall when he got home. Typical the loser didn't want to go to golf that day, his spidey senses must have been telling him something.
I'd loved to have just gone off like that but unfortunately at the time the courts would not allow my son to leave his original home so I had to stay there with a violent lunatic until I managed to get full custody whih was a nightmare.

Just woken to see the update! Well done OP
I’m proud of you!

@Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme I just came across this thread and just wanted to tell you that I think you are an INCREDIBLE human being. I wish you and your children a beautiful Happily Ever After xx 💐💐💐

Morning OP - just thought don't forget to financially disassociate yourself from him with Experian etc

Oh wow. I’m glad it all went well. I can imagine how awful it must have been when he said he didn’t want to go to golf! Where was he while it was all happening? I’m so pleased you felt calm in your new place. Hope you got some good rest too.

OP I only just saw this thread after seeing your first a while back. CONGRATULATIONS and enjoy to the first full day of the rest of your life xx

👍👍

House looks lovely! Congrats!

Nice one OP you did it!! Fantastic result and here's to new beginnings x

Congratulations on your escape! Make sure you take some time to process, and if you have an adrenaline crash just let it happen. You have so done the right thing.

Huge contributions op. You did it!

Congratulations! I remember that amazing feeling when I left. Be prepared for some uncertainty and wondering if you have done the right thing for the kids, especially when he tries to wear you down to go back, but that will eventually pass, you have 100% done the right thing!!
I still remember that amazing feeling of freedom, 11 years on, I'm now married to a lovely man but can still remember feeling so happy and content with my kids tucked up in bed and having a glass of wine watching tv not having to worry about what kind of mood ex would be in... enjoy it

I'm so so pleased for you! I've been lurking since your first post and was checking in all day yesterday 😊

You did it OP, what a huge hurdle. Be ready for the adrenaline crash and be kind to yourself

Your new home looks so cozy and snug.

Well done.

Well done OP