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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am i going crazy?

98 replies

Sstorm · 04/11/2019 10:14

Im convinced DH is cheating. Or at the very least- messaging someone else.
We've been married 8 years now, 2dc. I hope I'm not 'drip feeding' but my minds all a boggle.

He's on his phone a LOT. When i walk past him he quickly cancels whatever is on his screen and 'casually' pretends to be looking at something else. But with a sly grin on his face the whole time.
He's constantly online on WhatsApp.. Even through the night. I'll look when i wake up and his 'last seen' is ridiculous hours (03:58am etc)
Lots and lots of little things that ordinarily wouldnt red flag but I'm going out of my mind here.
Passwords (pin/ fingerprints etc) on his phone and laptop which have never been there before and he continually makes excuses not to tell me.
Profile picture changes etc
He's so hot and cold with me i feel like im living on egg shells, one moment his sex drive is through the roof and he's doing new things with me- and the next hes snapping at me telling me to leave him alone.
Im so confused.

Ive asked/ confronted him about it and he'll always without a doubt turn it around on me saying I'm a psycho, I'm a stalker, its all in my head.

My gut instinct will not let this go.
Am i going crazy or am i right to be suspicious?? How can i possibly find out for Sure?

Help 😔

OP posts:
Sstorm · 06/12/2019 21:27

I have absolutely no one. I thought i had my sister, i guess i dont

OP posts:
whatnottodo · 06/12/2019 21:28

Howcome you had a feeling it was her?

Zoflorabore · 06/12/2019 21:28

I’m truly shocked op. So sorry this is happening to you. I’m presuming your sister is NOT who you originally thought he was messaging? What are you going to do? Stay strong, you are in shock. Big hugs Flowers

Geppili · 06/12/2019 21:29

Op that is truly awful. Does your sister know you know?

Geppili · 06/12/2019 21:30

Sorry ignore double post.

Qwerty09876 · 06/12/2019 21:31

you have everyone on here op Thankswhat a pack of twats! Angry

Geppili · 06/12/2019 21:32

Is he with you?

Pinkbonbon · 06/12/2019 21:35

Oh how awful. What a pig.
Disgusting pair.
Tell him to gtf out of your house.
Hand hold op. Good luck.

Daisydoola · 06/12/2019 21:36

That's so awful. I'm so sorry OP.

beck3001 · 06/12/2019 21:37

I'm so sorry to hear this 😔 is he with you now?
Do what you need to do to keep your head above water right now, let your mind straighten itself out if possible.
I'm here hoping that things didn't go too far with them both.
Did you mention anything to your sister?
I guess at some point they will both see a change in your behaviour but do what you need to do for yourself and children
❤️

combatbarbie · 06/12/2019 21:41

Oh my, words fail me!! What utter twunts both of them are! You may love him but you need to find your dignity, self worth and anger.... His actions and hers are unforgivable and not the actions of people who supposedly loves you.

What is the set up with DS, is she married? Did you manage to take a screenshot for evidence?

Id be inclined to just pack his bags and tell him he's welcome to her.

Brenna24 · 06/12/2019 21:43

That is as bad as it could possibly be. I am so sorry. I suggest that you start getting together important paperwork - passports, birth certificates, marriage certificate, his payslips, any banking info you can and hide it somewhere safe that you can get to it quickly. Do all that before you confront him if you can. Did you manage to photograph her screen?

Weenurse · 06/12/2019 21:46

I am so sorry you are going through this 💐

Ilovethekitties · 06/12/2019 21:49

Are you close with your sister?

MadeForThis · 06/12/2019 21:49

What a bastard. You're worth a lot more than him.

Sstorm · 06/12/2019 21:50

Am i close? We're twins

OP posts:
funnylittlefloozie · 06/12/2019 21:54

What a pathetic individual. Kick him out.

JKScot4 · 06/12/2019 21:57

Shower of cunts 😡

BumbleBeee69 · 06/12/2019 21:58

kick this arsehole out right now OP.

Ilovethekitties · 06/12/2019 21:59

Christ. Identical twins??

Yeah, well obviously kick him out ASAP.

Roo84 · 06/12/2019 21:59

OP i feel your pain, I too found out my H has been having an affair this week after spending months suspecting something was going on. We also have two young DCs. It's devastated me. We've talked more this week than we have in months and have decided that we would like to try give things time and see what happens. It's going to be a long hard road to try and build up the trust again but we will see where it goes.
Obviously your situation is slightly more complicated due to involving your sister but I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.

Qwerty09876 · 06/12/2019 22:01

Fucking hell!!!ShockShocktwins!! WTAF?!

Busybeebeebee · 06/12/2019 22:03

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Busybeebeebee · 06/12/2019 22:16

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Sstorm · 06/12/2019 22:18

Hand on heart this is real. I wish so much that it wasn't

OP posts:
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