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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am i going crazy?

98 replies

Sstorm · 04/11/2019 10:14

Im convinced DH is cheating. Or at the very least- messaging someone else.
We've been married 8 years now, 2dc. I hope I'm not 'drip feeding' but my minds all a boggle.

He's on his phone a LOT. When i walk past him he quickly cancels whatever is on his screen and 'casually' pretends to be looking at something else. But with a sly grin on his face the whole time.
He's constantly online on WhatsApp.. Even through the night. I'll look when i wake up and his 'last seen' is ridiculous hours (03:58am etc)
Lots and lots of little things that ordinarily wouldnt red flag but I'm going out of my mind here.
Passwords (pin/ fingerprints etc) on his phone and laptop which have never been there before and he continually makes excuses not to tell me.
Profile picture changes etc
He's so hot and cold with me i feel like im living on egg shells, one moment his sex drive is through the roof and he's doing new things with me- and the next hes snapping at me telling me to leave him alone.
Im so confused.

Ive asked/ confronted him about it and he'll always without a doubt turn it around on me saying I'm a psycho, I'm a stalker, its all in my head.

My gut instinct will not let this go.
Am i going crazy or am i right to be suspicious?? How can i possibly find out for Sure?

Help 😔

OP posts:
pheonixrebirth · 06/12/2019 20:20

I'm so sorry, this is why I always trust my gut instinct. As soon as you said he called you a psycho it confirmed it for me. Right now you need some support IRL. Could you call a friend or family member to come around? If I was there, these would be on my list to pick up for you! Big hugs to you doll🍷🍫💐

whatnottodo · 06/12/2019 20:26

How did you manage to get on his phone in the end??

Morgan12 · 06/12/2019 20:29

Ah that's shit.
What you going to do?

I take it it's someone you know?

WhoKnewBeefStew · 06/12/2019 20:29

Tell him to leave OP. Take some time away from him to think, it'll also make him realise what his actions mean.

Bluebutterfly90 · 06/12/2019 20:33

Very sorry to hear that OP.
Flowers
Stay strong and keep your head up. You and your DC deserve better.

ChangedMyNameYetAgain · 06/12/2019 20:44

Ive asked/ confronted him about it and he'll always without a doubt turn it around on me saying I'm a psycho, I'm a stalker, its all in my head.

^^ This.

It is exactly what happened to me. Gives me shivers.

You poor, poor thing.

Get support and get legal advice.

Sstorm · 06/12/2019 20:47

Its my sister. No one knows i know yet

OP posts:
ChangedMyNameYetAgain · 06/12/2019 20:49

Words fail me!

Zofloramummy · 06/12/2019 20:52

Oh dear God that’s awful! How did you find out? You poor thing. Have you got dc?

Sstorm · 06/12/2019 20:55

We have children yes. I've seen the messages on her phone.. Tonight

OP posts:
DPotter · 06/12/2019 20:55

You poor thing.

sanmiguel · 06/12/2019 20:58

How have you seen your sisters messages. What next?

jelly79 · 06/12/2019 21:01

Oh you poor woman! This is awful!

Do they know you know...?

Sending you so much love x

rvby · 06/12/2019 21:01

So sorry OP. Let us know what we can do to support. That's really really shit.

BuildBuildings · 06/12/2019 21:04

This is awful op. So sorry Flowers
How are you financially if you were to separate? Do you have real life support?

Windygate · 06/12/2019 21:06

Oh my that's awful. I'm so sorry.

ChaosisntapitChaosisaladder19 · 06/12/2019 21:08

Wow you're sister that's even worse is there anyone you can talk to you.

Purpleneonpinkunicorns · 06/12/2019 21:13

So sorry to hear that not only is he cheating it's with your sister...if I was you op I'd get me ducks in a row and never speak to the cheating scumbags ever again, I dont actually know which one is worse either. Utterly disgusting FlowersWineGin.

Cacklingmags · 06/12/2019 21:13

So sorry OP, take care of yourself.

Qwerty09876 · 06/12/2019 21:14

ShockShockShockShockShockShockShockShock omg!
I have no words for you op other than "sorry and stay strong" ThanksThanksThanks

DianaT1969 · 06/12/2019 21:19

Terrible. But now that you know for sure you can find your anger (after you get over the shock and disgust) and start looking out for yourself. Lots of good advice from MN on how to tackle the rough time ahead. I was concerned that you said you wouldn't leave him because you "love him" despite how rude, unkind and dismissive he has been towards you for quite a long time. You shouldn't love and excuse any man who treats you like that.

Sstorm · 06/12/2019 21:23

I feel numb. Completely devastated and sick. Our children are all asleep upstairs

OP posts:
Moses92 · 06/12/2019 21:25

Oh no OP, that is truly awful. Do you have someone you can talk to in real life?

cheesewitheverything · 06/12/2019 21:26

I'm so sorry to hear your update, op, that's absolutely shit. Sending you all the mumsnet strength and lots of hugs.

Geppili · 06/12/2019 21:26

Op that is truly awful. Does your sister know you know?

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