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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am i going crazy?

98 replies

Sstorm · 04/11/2019 10:14

Im convinced DH is cheating. Or at the very least- messaging someone else.
We've been married 8 years now, 2dc. I hope I'm not 'drip feeding' but my minds all a boggle.

He's on his phone a LOT. When i walk past him he quickly cancels whatever is on his screen and 'casually' pretends to be looking at something else. But with a sly grin on his face the whole time.
He's constantly online on WhatsApp.. Even through the night. I'll look when i wake up and his 'last seen' is ridiculous hours (03:58am etc)
Lots and lots of little things that ordinarily wouldnt red flag but I'm going out of my mind here.
Passwords (pin/ fingerprints etc) on his phone and laptop which have never been there before and he continually makes excuses not to tell me.
Profile picture changes etc
He's so hot and cold with me i feel like im living on egg shells, one moment his sex drive is through the roof and he's doing new things with me- and the next hes snapping at me telling me to leave him alone.
Im so confused.

Ive asked/ confronted him about it and he'll always without a doubt turn it around on me saying I'm a psycho, I'm a stalker, its all in my head.

My gut instinct will not let this go.
Am i going crazy or am i right to be suspicious?? How can i possibly find out for Sure?

Help 😔

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 06/12/2019 22:25

Thinking ahead (as tbh kicking his ass out rn is your first course of action) Do you own or rent op? Is his name on the property/mortgage/lease ect... Get to a solicitor as soon as you can anyway, find out what your rights are. Last thing you want us him trying to come back after this messed up shit.

Fairycake2 · 06/12/2019 23:05

OMG I'm so sorry OP, I can imagine how devastated you must be. This is such a double betrayal. Do you have a friend you can talk to and who can support you? I hope you manage to find the strength to chuck him out and get some arrangements in place so you and the DCs can start a new life together. It will be really hard but take each day at a time and be kind to yourself. Sending internet hugs 💐

HungryBelly · 06/12/2019 23:11

What a pair of twats. Try to stay calm OP and think about what you are going to do. Flowers

Weenurse · 07/12/2019 04:43

💐🍸

Straightintoit · 07/12/2019 04:52

Jesus. Get him out of the house this morning. How dare he make you doubt your instincts. What a turd. And her too, she is equally a turd.

lookingatthemoon · 07/12/2019 05:32

Oh god so sorry OP! What a pair of arseholes. You deserve so much better then this.

Redbauble · 07/12/2019 05:42

So sorry op how awful

plumbabe · 07/12/2019 05:48

This is awful. You need to kick him out.

twinboymumma · 07/12/2019 07:13

What horrible news - so sorry for what you're going through. Lots of comments about the dh, but your sister is just as bad! A well-deserved slap should be on the cards for her! My sister was texting my ex boyfriend once and that felt horrible enough - merely a smidgen of what you're feeling though. Sending lots of hugs.

GaaaaarlicBread · 07/12/2019 07:19

You have so much support on here . MN can be a hard place but at the best of times people really come together .

I can’t believe what I’ve read but please think of yourself and your children and kick him out . No doubt he’ll try running back to you but don’t give in . Once a cheater always a cheater 💐💐💕

Lozzerbmc · 07/12/2019 07:22

So sorry thats truly terrible. Sending you lots of strength - you are the better person. He doesnt deserve you nor does your sister.

MoseShrute · 07/12/2019 07:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

Alfiemoon1 · 07/12/2019 07:40

So sorry op have you got any rl support a close friend maybe. Did you screenshot the messages incase they deny it.

dottydolly72 · 07/12/2019 07:41

Words fail me!! I'm so sorry OP, sending you hugs xx

SuperficialSuzie · 07/12/2019 07:46

Oh no OPthat is awful. The two people who souls have your back have deceived you so badly.

You will find lots of support on here but I think you need real life support too. Can you tell a trusted friend?

Morgan12 · 07/12/2019 19:11

Hope you are doing ok Flowers

WhoKnewBeefStew · 07/12/2019 19:15

I hope you're ok OP Thanks

Savingforarainyday · 07/12/2019 19:20

So sorry...
Flowers

RandomMess · 07/12/2019 19:28
Sad
Shooturlocalmethdealer · 08/12/2019 05:11

Truth is much stranger than fiction.
The mind boggles.
Let them have each other OP.
I'm in a rage for you.
My heart dropped to my stomach when you told it was your sister.
I cant imagine your anguish.
You will get through this.
Hold your lovely head up Flowers

MrsAgassi · 08/12/2019 05:28

I’m so sorry.

Words absolutely fail me.

Interestedwoman · 08/12/2019 11:01

That's absolutely shocking. What awful people. Hugs xxxxx

Alfiemoon1 · 08/12/2019 12:03

Hope you are ok

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