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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

what would you do.dh snogged girl infront of me

69 replies

moljam · 02/07/2007 16:13

sorry this may be long!-
this was 3 weeks ago.we were both drunk but i dont see that as an excuse.he claims he doesnt remember,i do.i was stood right near him. .shes 16 and has now taken to hanging round primary school when i pick my children up,which i hate.when it happened i said nothing,just walked away .when we got home we argued but were both drunk-i had sobered up alot after what i saw but still drunk.the next day we argued more,he claimed he has no memory of it but i dont believe him.also he said hes sorry,why be sorry if he doesnt know what happened?i left,taking all 3 children to my mums and said i wanted him to leave so i could return.its not just this 'thing' its lots of other stuff,this was final straw.after 3 nights i was supposed to return home next day to discuss what happens next but as i got in bed that night with 2 of my children i decided i couldnt do that to them and owed to them to atleast try.so thats what were doing.now this girl is hanging round again and its driving me mad.what would you do?

OP posts:
flack · 02/07/2007 16:13

Decide that we both had drinking problems.

electra · 02/07/2007 16:14

I think I would get the hell out of there if he has so little respect tbh.

lulumama · 02/07/2007 16:16

tell her to p*ss off, she can take a running jump, and he is your DH

and both stop drinking and talk , when sober, about things, and what makes you behave in a self destructive manner

nailpolish · 02/07/2007 16:18

how old is your dh?

FioFio · 02/07/2007 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Mumpbump · 02/07/2007 16:19

Agree with lulumama, but doesn't sound good if he has so little respect that he'd snog someone in front of you, drunk or not...

katylui1 · 02/07/2007 16:20

Leave, leave, leave. What are you teaching your kids about love and respect???

expatinscotland · 02/07/2007 16:20

What's with all these women who think they need to tell the gal to piss off?

I mean, shouldn't he be doing that?

mytwopenceworth · 02/07/2007 16:20

I'd stop drinking for a start!

He said he's sorry because he wants you to shut up about it and he thinks that apologising will get you off his back.

Why does the girl hang around the school gates? Does he pick the kids up at times? Is she hoping to see him? Or is she jealous of you and wanting to, oh I don't know, who can figure the mind of a 16 yr old girl!!

Remember though that she is only 16 and probably has a huge crush. She's just a kid.

If this is the latest in a long list of things then maybe you need a long chat - I always say Relate in answer to these posts but it's true, it is better to talk these things out and sometimes needs a third party to help.

If going down the pub is part of his normal day to day life, then might I suggest a lifestyle change. Best decisions are not generally made while staring at the bottom of your pint pot!!

Original poster
moljam · 02/07/2007 16:20

hes 40.
and we dont have drinking problemsit was rare night out.

OP posts:
Cammelia · 02/07/2007 16:21

Stop drinking to the extent of getting drunk and disorderly and kill them both anyway

lulumama · 02/07/2007 16:21

because, she is a 16 yr old girl who can get out of the picture.....the OP and her DH need to talk, like grown ups

i wouldn;t ditch DH for a snog..... but i;d want to know what the hell was going on

certainly wouldn;t break up a 10 year relationship over it

nailpolish · 02/07/2007 16:21

40???

fuck sake!

TootyFrooty · 02/07/2007 16:22

How old are your children?

expatinscotland · 02/07/2007 16:22

He's FORTY and he snogged a 16 year old girl in front of you whilst drunk.

Where the hell was this?

Huh?

If you get so plastered you can't remember what the hell you did you've got a problem.

lulumama · 02/07/2007 16:22

why is a 16 yr old at a party or whatever , copping off with a 40 yr old married man? where were you ?

sounds like there are multiple issues to be dealt with , and this has brought it all to a head

Original poster
moljam · 02/07/2007 16:22

she goes to the school with her friend who does have a child at the school.he hardly ever goes there but did every day the week after it happened as i wouldnt so maybe hoping to bump into him?

OP posts:
FioFio · 02/07/2007 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lulumama · 02/07/2007 16:23

sorry, your DH should also absolutely not be snogging teenagers, and needs to take responsibility

TootyFrooty · 02/07/2007 16:23

What a creep.

chopster · 02/07/2007 16:23

is this for real?

expatinscotland · 02/07/2007 16:23

That's whacked, man.

Original poster
moljam · 02/07/2007 16:23

children are 7,6 and 18 months

OP posts:
Original poster
moljam · 02/07/2007 16:24

chopster yes sadly for real

OP posts:
mytwopenceworth · 02/07/2007 16:24

40?

He's 40 and he 'snogged' a 16 yr old kid?

Bloody hell. I thought from your op he would be mid 20's, tops.

Get him to read this thread!