Anyone on here use the Reddit app?

[CoffeeAtCentralPerk]

Was unsure where to post this, but I've always seen lots of good advice via the relationships board so figured I'd start here - If the thread needs to be moved to a different board for better advice that's absolutely fine!

OH uses the Reddit app every day. Browses memes, jokes, current news etc.

We have no qualms about each other using each other's phones - neither of us have anything to hide, we know each other's passwords etc.. so tonight I used his phone whilst mine had low battery.
I unlocked it and it opened straight to the Reddit app.
Figured I'd do a search for funny shit after having a slightly miserable day, and to my surprise (and disappointment) the first search in OH's search bar was a subreddit called RealGirls.

Intrigued, obviously, I clicked on it. And let's just say, the thread was bloody gross. Fannies all over the shop. Women bending over whilst wearing nothing. None of it was tasteful. Just normal women taking nudes in their bedrooms.

OH and I had had a discussion about the likes of porn and 'dirty images' almost four years ago and I said I wasn't completely happy about it - I know some women are chill about it and thats fine! But I'm not - OH said he rarely, if ever, looked at that kind of stuff, but upon knowing I wasn't totally okay with it, would stop it completely.

I asked him tonight why this search was showing in his app and he was bewildered. He seemed genuinely shocked but I told him if he'd searched for it, to just tell me. I'd rather know and just deal with it and get on with it rather be than be lied to. Honesty goes along way with me. But he spent almost half an hour on the app (in front of me) trying to figure out why or how this search came up.

So, does anyone on here use Reddit and has experienced random searches in their search bar which they haven't searched for?
My logical brain tells me that a search bar is exactly that - a search bar - things you've actively searched for will be displayed. But there's a small part of me that believes he didn't.

Anyone more clued up on Reddit than I am and can shed some light?

OP - you stumbled onto his stash. In the good old days - it’d have been a box with magazines.
He knows you know. You know he knows.

Only question is what you want to do about it.

It’s not a court of law and he isn’t going to admit anything. And there isn’t enough evidence - you didn’t catch him looking.

So - you can continue arguing about it.

Or, if it’s a break-up’able offence fie you - you can leave.

Or, you can stop and move on. And hope he won’t do it again, or (more likely) smarten up and hide it better.

My search history only shows what I’ve typed in.
Though the groups ( dunno proper term. Subreddit?) are random collection - beholdthemasterrace, beyondthebump and powerlifting are an example of the variety chosen for me when I installed it a week or so ago. If it’s in the main thread he didn’t necessarily choose it, but the search is definitely only what the user types in

It's the lying I mostly have the issue with.
If he looked at it whilst I popped out this evening, then fine, whatever. Am I completely happy about him looking at random women's naked selfies? Of course not. BUT. I'd much rather a 'shit yeah, I did have a quick look' as opposed to a lie - followed by an extensive search through his phone (conducted by him) as to why that search may have come up. I'm a grown woman I can handle the truth, but I can't handle petty lies.

I'm completely clueless regarding Reddit though so for all I know, he could be telling the truth. But he could just as easily not be.

It wouldn’t show up on its own, he definitely must have searched for it. I don’t particularly like the fact men look at porn but they all do. Some women like to pretend their OH’s don’t do it or they look the other way but I guarantee you they all do. Private browsing, hidden folders, deleted search’s etc, it is very easy to hide stuff.
Try not to let it bother you. Men are visual, they all like looking at women naked. It doesn’t mean anything, other than he felt horny and curious. I understand why you’re upset about the lying but he probably doesn’t want to admit it. If your relationship is otherwise fine, I wouldn’t worry too much.

OP - he lied the way my kids lie when scared of consequences...
It’s defensive.

You can, of course, play Sherlock and try to catch him out. And he’ll feel humiliated as well. In addition to whatever fear he is feeling already.
What will it add to your collective happiness in the relationship.

To me - that sort of thing isn’t worth it. You know he looked. Also seems that he is human.

It does feel a little like it’s a power game for you, in some way.
You say - you don’t want him to look; but it’s a sort of a preference - not - I’ll leave you if you did..
Now you say - it’s Ok if he did (‘fine, whatever’)....
But he needs permission, or something...

Anyway. He has a stash. It was found. You can keep banging him about it, or re-focus on real issues.

I wouldn't say it's a power game, it's more that he knows I'm not entirely comfortable about the whole thing, but, let's be honest, if he is searching for women's nudes that they post on Reddit then what can I do about it? Hence the 'eh, whatever' but it still sucks for me.

I'd just rather him be honest and own his actions. If he's looked at other birds whilst I was out and I've blatantly caught him out, then at least have the decency to admit it. Rather than sit there for SO long trying to prove to me that he hadn't infact searched for it. Like he wasn't just 'oh, dunno how that got there' he went through the whole app and everything trying to find some sort of explanation for it for almost half an hour.
It was a lot of effort for a lie and that's what's rubbing me up on the wrong way.

You can click "random subreddit" and get taken to a random subreddit - which can be anything. I have gone to some very weird subreddits that way.

Interesting @LosingLola would that then show as a search in your search bar even if you hadn't actually typed the specific name of the subreddit?

Funny enough I just downloaded this app 2 days ago afternoon reading something on MN.

I've only searched on one topic...and just went to my search bar after reading your question.

The topic I searched was the only one to come up.

Just went on to check mine and it comes up with my search history without typing anything in. When I started to type in "re" it came up with various subs I haven't searched before. Hope this may help.

I didn’t think porn came up in autosuggests. It’s a bit of a coincidence if not. Real girls is huge on reddit and can go to some very real places. It’s a bit of a bridge between porn and real girls - too much so. You can arrange hook ups through a fair few of those subreddits.

@SandyY2K it would make sense that only things you've searched for would appear in the "search bar" hence me questioning him and being doubtful that it was just a random blip on the app! Thanks for your input!

@BeekyChitch that's definitely interesting to know it can bring up random things. Was it that you clicked on your search bar and saw things you haven't searched for before?

@Highginx from what I saw, it was less 'porn' and more 'real' women posting their own nudes. I think that's what's rattled my cage (alongside the potential lying). Porn is one thing. But normal women's nudes is a whole other thing. I dunno. The two just feel very different to me.

So The first picture shows I have searched for unsolved mysteries and murder on reddit (yep). The second picture is when I start typing. The subs with the blue I don't follow.

I know what it is and there are lots of offshoots - it’s a bleak fucking business. But yeah, maybe just a porn thing but given the abundance of porn, I dunno, why real women? It’s just a bit too far across the line I reckon.

You can message the girls. You can ask them to do things. It’s not paid. It’s just kind of sad. Then there are other WG subreddits arranging hook ups and stuff. Nice. He’s logged in, no? You can check all of his history by his username.

@BeekyChitch the 'real girls' search looked like the first photo you posted, and not the second. So obviously it was a search then..

@Highginx I asked OH about his search history whilst he was frantically trying to prove he hadn't searched for it - and he said apparently you can't search history on the Reddit app? It's definitely the 'real' women thing that's getting to me. A porn video is a porn star, a nude photo posted on a forum is generally a normal woman posing in her bedroom, and for some reason, that angers me and I can't work out why.

It stores all search history. And comments etc. Unless he’s disabled cookies which he clearly hasn’t as his autosuggest is on.

@BeekyChitch this is how it looked, dunno if that makes sense to you! (But with only one 'real girls' search followed by some other normal searches) I downloaded the app just now to see if it blips or brings up random things! Evidently it doesn't on mine so as I suspected, OH is telling fibs....

You didn’t type anything at all then? That was the just the first suggestion?

And the suggestions that followed didn’t share the same first letter and were searches your OH might well use?

@CoffeeAtCentralPerk yep that looks like he searched them! He could have easily clicked the x and it wouldn't show again but he obviously didn't think.

Mine shows 3 recent searches, nothing random there, I've definitely searched for those 3 things. Sorry Op, he's bullshitting.

@Highginx yes. Those are my searches to show another use how my OH's searched bar looked. The other things he searched for were completely different from the real girls thing, not starting with the same letter, no.

@FuckYouRichardParker yeah, I thought as much! It's frustrating that he honestly went to so much effort to try and dig himself out of it rather than just being honest - especially as he knows how much honesty means to me and being honest means I won't get mad at all. I get mad once pointless lies are involved. Hmm. Not sure where to go from here. Do I turn a blind eye to the fact that instead of using porn, he's seeking genuine, real women's nudes on Reddit, or do I confront him again?

Isn't looking at "real" girls better than looking at regular porn as these women are more likely to be self posters so are less likely to be trafficked into porn like most people seem to have a problem about when it comes to porn on here.