Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband working on New Year’s Eve our of town - cheating

65 replies

Lovelyivy · 31/12/2018 20:17

Hello, my husband works as a tape jointer. He told me about 3 weeks ago that they offered him double pay to work from 31/12 to 2/12 in different town. I didn’t think much of it but when I mention it to other people they automatically assume he is cheatingShock. Now I’m getting paranoid and starting to think that it doesn’t really make much sense. He worked in different town only twice in last two years. So it not common thing. Plus how many people do actually work on 1st January? What do you guys think? I’m now trying to think of ways to check on him but the only thing I can think of is randomly FaceTime him tonight and I’ve done it already no answer...Sad

OP posts:
Littleraindrop15 · 31/12/2018 20:21

Well I doubt he would doing his work at this hour so if he isn't answering the phone that does sound fishy.. If you know where he is could you 'surprise' him?

Lovelyivy · 31/12/2018 20:22

I know he is in Oxford but not sure where exactly plus I am home with baby

OP posts:
2019already · 31/12/2018 20:24

He’s definitely not working, but might just be out with boys?

heartyrebel · 31/12/2018 20:24

Will you see his payslip and see this extra money go in?

EggysMom · 31/12/2018 20:25

I'm afraid I don't know what a tape jointer does, so have no idea if this would be unusual!

Villanellesproudmum · 31/12/2018 20:25

I have contractors working over Christmas/New Year it’s actually fairly common for businesses such as schools, retail units for rebrands, repairs etc.

HollowTalk · 31/12/2018 20:26

But surely not on New Year's Eve at this time, Villanelle?

Lovelyivy · 31/12/2018 20:27

Thank you Villanellesprouds mum for little bit of reassurance.
Unfortunately won’t see his payslips, but I was thinking for a bit when he was packing that maybe he just wanted to celebrate with boys and was afraid I would be mad

OP posts:
WallisFrizz · 31/12/2018 20:30

Agree that with pp that for many people who work in the trades that Christmas can be a busy time of year as many premises are closed so good time to have repairs/refurbs done. Has he ever given you a reason to doubt him?

WhoKnewBeefStew · 31/12/2018 20:30

Lots of people have to work nye, but it’s either bar staff, or people working with animals.

Do have access to finances, can you see if he gets additional pay in his next pay packet if you can’t confirn tonight?

champagneplanet · 31/12/2018 20:31

DH is working tonight, also worked Xmas Day from 1pm. He's getting paid money that you wouldn't say no to unless you were a millionaire so it's entirely possible he's working depending on how feasible it is to do his job on NYE. Has he got form for telling fibs in the past?

Villanellesproudmum · 31/12/2018 20:31

Yep also on New Year eve they tend to work evenings/overnight even on NYE if they are on a deadline for a launch, we currently have to teams working in two parts of the UK ready for new business launches Tuesday and Wednesday this week.

Villanellesproudmum · 31/12/2018 20:33

*two not to

Ariela · 31/12/2018 20:33

Sounds quite feasible to me. Quite often commercial business buildings are shut over the holidays so essential repairs can be undertaken without disrupting the workforce. My OH is often asked to work weird hours, bank holidays etc, as his work is often undertaken when the workforce are not in, we're not bothered and it's nicer to earn double the money for the hours he works.

shpoot · 31/12/2018 20:35

Loads of contractors are working overnight tonight or working late. It's the ideal time. 24 hour supermarkets, doctors surgeries etc are only closed for a day or two.

Lovelyivy · 31/12/2018 20:36

Well his job includes finishing off the paint in the offices so it would probably make sense he is working. Well I had a little doubt only when he was getting ready as he has two large bags. One is nice and the only time he ever used it was twice when two of us travelled for a weekend together. The second one he uses daily for gym and work for over a year now and I was surprised he took the nice bag i saw last time a year agoShock. I wanted to look what’s packed but had no chance to do it - he packed and left quickly. But maybe it’s just stupid overreacting.

OP posts:
shpoot · 31/12/2018 20:37

And it's not mainly "bar staff and people working with animals" at work tonight. What an absurd thing to think! Most of the people at work tonight are our public sector services

Skybooks · 31/12/2018 20:39

Lots of people have to work nye, but it’s either bar staff, or people working with animals.

Or medical staff, airline/airport workers, fire and police service, maintainable workers for areas that are closed for the bank holiday..... pretty sure it's more.

mywigwamneedsnewflaps · 31/12/2018 20:39

I found an old post on face book earlier where I had a team of men in to paint the inside of a house over new year 3 years ago , they worked for 4 days whatever hours they could priced per job , so they worked late into the night each day to push it along
So it could be similar ( and my dry liner had his man the previous week to that in taping & joining - so over Christmas )

Donkdonkgoo · 31/12/2018 20:41

If he is cheating you will find out eventually, make a mental note of all the things that don't add up. I know you would really love to get reassurance from everyone on here that he's not cheating but there's only you that knows him. Has there been something else that makes you suspect he's not been honest, or is it just the fact he's working over new year? Something's to look out for when he gets home ... has he just taken work clothes? Check all clothes and pockets, find out if he has had a bumper wage for working over new year... most cheating men slip up and get complacent. I really hope he is working OP for yours and your baby's sake.... send him a pic of cute sleeping baby tells no him how much he is loved... that's all you can do really xx

whatamidoingwithmylife · 31/12/2018 20:42

Have you had prior reason to doubt him? My partner is working tonight and tomorrow but I know he's at work and has arranged to call me tonight to wish me happy new year.

I don't know what your husband's job entails but as others have said, contractors do get offered good money to work over these holidays. My partner also gets double time and he would have volunteered for more if he could have. I just saw your update and the whole taking a best bag thing sounds odd - shame you couldn't see what was packed. Why would he need two bags for only 3 days away working?

I hope it's just your imagination doing overtime after your friends suggested cheating, but it does sound a little suspicious. However, unless there's a real reason why you shouldn't trust him, try not to worry too much. If he continues to be out of touch tonight, then there's possibly an issue.

shpoot · 31/12/2018 20:43

Thread derail but I don't get the people working with animals bit unless she means prison officers, cause the vets is shut

Donkdonkgoo · 31/12/2018 20:46

Just seen your post about the nice bag he's packed... make sure you see what's in the bag when he comes home check for any signs of make up in clothes and smell them... can you access bank statements to see what's been spent and where!

mindutopia · 31/12/2018 20:50

Would he need two bags of clothes for essentially 48 hours away working? Was some of that space for tools or other kit? My dh and I went to the US for two weeks and he still only packed one (carry on sized) bag! That seems like a lot for 2 nights working away.

adaline · 31/12/2018 20:51

Thread derail but I don't get the people working with animals bit unless she means prison officers, cause the vets is shut

Vets might be shut to the public but most will have animals staying overnight for various reasons, so nurses still need to come in and check on them, give medication etc.

Anyway OP unless you have valid reason to doubt him, don't let other people put thoughts into your head. Plenty of people work over New Year - it's only on MN that everyone seems to have two weeks off over the Christmas season!