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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband working on New Year’s Eve our of town - cheating

65 replies

Lovelyivy · 31/12/2018 20:17

Hello, my husband works as a tape jointer. He told me about 3 weeks ago that they offered him double pay to work from 31/12 to 2/12 in different town. I didn’t think much of it but when I mention it to other people they automatically assume he is cheatingShock. Now I’m getting paranoid and starting to think that it doesn’t really make much sense. He worked in different town only twice in last two years. So it not common thing. Plus how many people do actually work on 1st January? What do you guys think? I’m now trying to think of ways to check on him but the only thing I can think of is randomly FaceTime him tonight and I’ve done it already no answer...Sad

OP posts:
champagneplanet · 31/12/2018 20:51

Have you called him? Does he answer straightway? Has he told you where he's staying? If DH works away on days he goes out to eat with colleagues in the evening, has he mentioned doing anything like that? Might explain the extra bag too.

Oakmaiden · 31/12/2018 20:54

*Lots of people have to work nye, but it’s either bar staff, or people working with animals.

Or medical staff, airline/airport workers, fire and police service, maintainable workers for areas that are closed for the bank holiday..... pretty sure it's more.*

Lots of office based stuff gets done now too. DH works in IT for an insurance company and is working "Year End" - basically the end of month processing but bigger. And a lot of software or hardware updates get implemented too while the business is "down".

GabsAlot · 31/12/2018 20:54

my dh works xmas and new year if the roster is down as his turnlots of contrsuctin decorating done even he says at this time of year so could be right

Lifeofsmiley · 31/12/2018 20:57

Or farmers could be working with animals

Lovelyivy · 31/12/2018 20:59

He packed only one bag (the nice one)

OP posts:
thecatneuterer · 31/12/2018 21:02

Thread derail but I don't get the people working with animals bit unless she means prison officers, cause the vets is shut

There are always emergency vets open, even on Christmas Day. Our clinic is both a rescue and a vets. We have emergency vets and vet nurses who are looking after the inpatients tonight. And then we have animal care staff looking after all the rescue animals in the shelter. And I'm a cat rescue worker and I'm on call tonight ... And we have a receptionist on all night taking emergency calls and admissions.

The of course catteries and the like will be looking after animals while their owners are away. Zoos ...

But of course there are loads of people working tonight who have nothing to do with either hospitality or animals.

thecatneuterer · 31/12/2018 21:03

Oh yes, farmers too

HollowTalk · 31/12/2018 21:05

Why won't you see how much he's paid?

Can't you go through his clothes and see what's missing? Wouldn't he normally come home covered in paint and plaster dust? Has he taken work shoes with him?

category12 · 31/12/2018 21:07

I don't get the people working with animals bit

Do you think farm animals don't need milking, feeding, water, checking up on, no matter what day it is?

mumonashoestring · 31/12/2018 21:08

Have you called him? Does he answer straightway?

Best not let DH see this, I never answer my personal phone straight away if I'm working Grin . Because I'm busy, working.

If this time working away is the only thing that's made you wonder then I can tell you there are several University building and renovation projects in Oxford at the moment where work is going on over the Christmas break to try and minimise the disruption that would be caused by doing it during term. I doubt it's only the University thinking along these lines.

Klobluchar · 31/12/2018 21:10

My BIL earned 12k working as a shop fitter for 12 hours on Christmas Day and is doing the same tonight for 7k. It’s the only time the shops he works on are closed.

ShowOfHands · 31/12/2018 21:11

DH is working shift 7 of 7 tonight meaning he worked Christmas Day, every day since and will work overnight tonight until 8am.

Not a single person has suggested he is cheating. Why would people you know say this? There must be a reason?

thecatneuterer · 31/12/2018 21:12

@Klobluchar A thousand pounds an hour! OMFG

BestIsWest · 31/12/2018 21:12

Yes I used to work in IT too, for a finance company and year end was always a big thing. It wasn’t always possible to automate everything and the business would want to double check things at various points. I’d often be working right through the night on NYE and into New Year’s Day.

Jubba · 31/12/2018 21:15

I worked in the music industry for over 15 years. I have to say. I worked every single new year and jan 1st!!! Every single one

And I would still be working at this hour and not answer my phone. Easily.

lucky88 · 31/12/2018 21:15

Sounds like your instincts are detecting something is amiss.
Entirely possible he is working.. but try and get more info when he calls or gets back. And have a look in the bag.

Laine21 · 31/12/2018 21:18

Our offices are closed over Christmas and new year, the decorators are in to redecorate the whole building while there are no staff or meetings going on. More expensive, but at least we don't have to put up with wet paint or the smell of it while we try to work.
My ex used to work away as a shop fitter, working silly hours to get the job done quickly, and would take two sets of clothes, one to work in and decent stuff to change into to have a drink with the lads after a long 12 hour shift. The bank balance was always very much healthier afterwards. If you are worried, check the wages payments going in.

NonvalidUsername · 31/12/2018 21:25

It seems totally reasonable for tradesmen to work over this period. I don't understand how you wouldn't see his payslip though

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2018 21:29

All my payslips are sent electronically

Not sure about other people's though

zeeboo · 31/12/2018 21:31

@Klobluchar really?? £1000 an hour???

Klobluchar · 31/12/2018 21:34

Yeah, he and my sister basically have the deposit on a small house now. He missed the kids opening their presents but was with us for a late lunch at 5pm and he and the family think it was entirely worth it and I agree!

Klobluchar · 31/12/2018 21:34

And no one for one minute thought he was cheating

daisychain01 · 31/12/2018 21:38

What a terrible shame that you even have to think like this about your DH.

Has he ever given you any cause for concern in the past? If not, you're jumping to a massive conclusion based on what evidence?....

justforthisnow · 31/12/2018 21:40

Why can't you see his payslips?

justforthisnow · 31/12/2018 21:41

And I ask that as somone who gets theirs electronically but still has to send to DH so the accountant to finish accounts year end.