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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Am I imagining this?

87 replies

onemoresmartie · 03/09/2018 09:54

Me and OH we're out on Saturday night and were quite drunk but I remember most things that happened ie conversations, walking home etc

I looked on my online banking this morning and there are 2 separate transactions on my bank account to him totalling £150!

I woke him up and asked him wtf it was? And he said oh yeah don't you remember you asking me to play online roulette on Saturday night?

I said no I don't remember doing that and he said he was upset about it?

He does gamble every now and again...I'm not happy at all and the fact he didn't mention it at all yesterday and I only knew about it when I checked my account this morning

Don't know what to do 😩

OP posts:
Original poster
onemoresmartie · 07/09/2018 11:09

So as predicted there are excuses and screen shots that he hasn't been paid into his bank yet so he can't pay me back 🙄

OP posts:
AveABanana · 07/09/2018 11:17

Can you change from fingerprint to a pin - that he doesn't know. Because this will happen again.

MulticolourMophead · 07/09/2018 13:40

OP, I'd leave (or kick him out, whichever works) because you are getting excuses again.

He can't be trusted, and will likely leave you up shit creek without a paddle. No matter how nice he is, that will not make up for any financial wrong doing that leaves you in a bad situation.

HereIgoagainxx · 07/09/2018 13:48

Get your money back, then get rid of him.

another20 · 07/09/2018 17:00

He is in deep.

He lies and is deceptive as standard to hide his addiction.

You are on to him - so he will panic and lie even more and be even more deceptive.

He is gaslighting you. This is abusive.

You need an exit strategy and supporting in RL to implement it.

Cindersdonegood · 07/09/2018 17:41

Oh I'm sorry OP. You need to get rid asap. Unfortunately I think you may need to write off the £150.
Take it as an expensive lesson. A sneaky gambler will not make your future bright, secure and happy. Even if he does quit gambling, you would be watching constantly for evidence of a relapse.

Original poster
onemoresmartie · 08/09/2018 19:01

No mention of the money since yesterday's bollocks. I was going to drive over and spend the night there last night and apparently I left it too late and he had made plans?
Am I over reacting to think he really is a selfish prick who doesn't care about me at all?

OP posts:
ItsABeatifulDayNow · 08/09/2018 19:04

Ugh poor you OP. Be warned, the second you disengage and stop responding / chasing up contact he will likely panic and lovebomb you and then once you're settled again... boom back to normal. Don't fall for it, as my mum told me once "one day you won't remember his name!"

fuzzywuzzy · 08/09/2018 19:06

tell I’m you will report him for theft and fraud if he doesn’t pay you back immediately.

Then do it.

Get rid of the lying gambling stealing wanker.

eddielizzard · 08/09/2018 19:10

Well trust is broken, that's for sure.

MrsMozart · 08/09/2018 19:21

Step away from him lass.

Sadly I think your money is gone.

mimibunz · 08/09/2018 19:24

Sounds like he’s about to make a break from the relationship too. You will no doubt be accused of being difficult or unreasonable.

Original poster
onemoresmartie · 08/09/2018 19:28

His priority is not me I'm not even a close one. I don't know why I'm hanging on...I have given it my best shot but I'm not happy and my friends and family know I'm miserable
I don't go a day without crying at the minute it's awful but I know I'll be miserable alone as well like I was before

OP posts:
Icantbelieveitsnotnutter · 08/09/2018 19:46

Being alone will give you some peace though. He doesn't sound at all trustworthy or caring. Other men are......Flowers

Gemini69 · 08/09/2018 22:02

You need to ditch this Cretin OP Flowers

C0untDucku1a · 08/09/2018 22:21

Thisnis awful. He is a lying, Stealing scumbag.

Maelstrop · 08/09/2018 22:22

Get the money back then dump his sorry ass. He’s lying to you.

LizzieSiddal · 08/09/2018 22:29

If you stay with this person your life will be miserable forever.

You deserve much better! Have some balls and get rid of him.

Whisky2014 · 08/09/2018 22:35

Op, once you leave this arse you will be happier!
Please leave him!

SandyY2K · 08/09/2018 22:45

He stole from you. Check your previous statements in case it's happened before.

Why would you give him £150 to gamble? He's such a liar.

You deserve better. Get your money back and dump him.

SandyY2K · 08/09/2018 22:51

I don't go a day without crying at the minute it's awful but I know I'll be miserable alone as well like I was before

Better to be miserable alone, than miserable with a thief for BF.

Don't settle for a man like this. He can probably tell you want a relationship at all costs and that's why he treats you like this.

Original poster
onemoresmartie · 08/09/2018 22:58

Lying here with that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. We have just ended it, well should I say he kicked off when I asked why he was adding 19 year old girls on Instagram and I said he was an embarssement. He said he wants his keys back I said I would post them.
No more time or petrol is being spent chasing this low life arse hole who doesn't give any fucks for me .
There's no doubt in my mind there are more secrets that I know

OP posts:
Onedayy · 08/09/2018 23:01

Tell him you’ll post the keys back as soon as the £150 is in your bank account.

findingmywaytoday · 08/09/2018 23:07

He wants his keys back... they'll cost £150 thanks!

findingmywaytoday · 08/09/2018 23:08

Hope he doesn't gave keys to your place. He sounds untrustworthy. Sad but you've dodged a bullet there.

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