Had big row with Dh this morning , asked him to treat me with more respect like he would the women at work, his response 'Well they deliver !'

[CaptainUnderpants]

This made me really upset ( even more !) how could he say that , what would you do, not do anything for him because 'you cant deliever '

What a horrible thing to say to your DW

I canm anbver plan for him to be home at a certain time , for example at least once a week he will say what time he will be home then have his phone turned off and go out on the piss , after having told me what time he would be home. He does this veryweek and as far as I am concerned that shows no respect for me !

I have asked him whether there is someone else and he syas NO , I have no eveidnec to suggest he is seeing someone . I asked him whether he was seeing som eone because he seemed so grumpy at home asthough he didn't wnat to be there.

I aske him last night whether there was someone else and thats when the stressed at work thing came out.

Oh hunny, I dont know what to say.

You sound so unhappy and it cannot go on. I am not one of those who advocate leaving their DH but what do you want to do?

Can you make him sit down with dinner and wine tonight and make him discuss it?

He said last night that he would talk about it today, but I have herda that so many times and he will just say ' I'm too tired ' or ' Stop going on about it '

I am going to sit him down tonight and have another attempt.

What do I want to do ?

I want to sort out this mess and if ncessary give him a BIG wake up call !

How you doing CU?

Not bad , managed to sit down and have a talk with him last night. It was abit like getting blood out of a stone, I did most of the talking, he sat there with a face like a smacked arse .

The atmosphere is calmer but I feel a bit flat today.

We are trying to be nice to each other

Ask him to write down what he thinks your job description is and to write you a performance review highlighting your strengths and weaknesses, and what he thinks you should be working on improving.

And you do the same for him.

And compare who is and isn't delivering, and on what criteria.

It will get you talking constructively about your life together.

Oh God him writing other peoples performance reviews is one of the things that has stressed him out at work ! So I dont think that would be a good idea at the moment for him to write one for me !

Hi hun, glad it's calmer. Are you walking on eggshells do you think or is it pretty relaxed?

I take it he wants more sex. Or am I way off mark?

Yes , he wants more sex , but doesn't any man !

I am not inclined to give it to him when things are so shitty between us, unfortunately I cant just turn it in on the bedroom when its going tits up ( excuse expression ) elsewhere !

I still feel a bit on eggshells , I am trying to be nice and bit my lip . I'm glad I'm off out tonight - PTA meeting ! - highlight of my week !

no,decent men,who respect their partners,dont generally want more sex IME.only selfish a*eholes who think that sex is a right want more of it(usually cos they dont get much as selfish a*eholes arent very attractive).