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Original poster

A clear definitive way to tell this man NO?! ...politely....

70 replies

PeppyPiggy · 18/01/2018 10:07

I went on a date with this guy out of feeling pressure and pity cause he wouldn't stop (I know, I know, my bad!) I thought I would give it a chance. date was fucking awful the guy is very strange to put it briefly.
He now will not take NO for answer, he keeps blowing up my phone, continues to call even when I continue to very clearly reject the calls. I told him there is no chance of romance three times now since the date. Yesterday I said it again, he accepted it! He said thats fine and that he didn't want to chase - hallelujah - just a few hours later he has texted me this

"I've been thinking, the wind has kept me up a bit. It would be helpful for me to chat about some questions with you' (dunno wtf he's on about) "I'd like to discover about me and you. How about we chat briefly a bit later or on a convenient evening. I feel we do have a lot in common. It would be a shame to loose that. x"

As polite as his message sounds he has down right ignored every single time I say no. I have said no to him and then he starts talking to me about how much money he has as well, he's even randomly sent me pictures of how much money he's made in the week its really creepy. BUT the thing is, we run in the same circles in terms of work and socialising, I really didn't want to have to block him and would rather keep things on amicable terms. Can anyone help with just the perfectly, definitive, very clear AND POLITE way of saying that I am not interested. Everything I say seems to be completely ignored I want him to get the picture fully...

OP posts:
ohfortuna · 18/01/2018 10:10

Every time you respond it's like a little reward for him and he feels there is Hope, I think you need to stop responding.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 18/01/2018 10:11

Why haven't you blocked him? He's harrassing you and frankly, I'd be a bit worried incase it turns into a stalker situation.

There's no being "amicable" with people like this. HE'S not being amicable is he?

Tell everyone you know that he's been weird with you. Show them the texts.

Cover your back.

Fuck him....you don't owe him anything.

If he comes to you physically tell him you'll call the police and get a non-molestation order.

SparklyMagpie · 18/01/2018 10:11

Tell him if he doesn't stop you'll be contacting the police...I'm sure that'll scare him

I'd also block him on everything you can and ignore him if you see him

ohfortuna · 18/01/2018 10:11

Also stop worrying about being polite because he's using that against you, he senses that you want to be seen as nice and you don't want to offend him and he will use that to try and break you down and push the boundaries.

StorminaBcup · 18/01/2018 10:12

Just tell him that an ex-boyfriend has been in contact and your going to give the relationship another go.

Or you’re going to have to be really blunt and tell him he’s creepy and block him.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 18/01/2018 10:12

Just block him, the more you reply the more he'll keep on. You've tried the nice way, time to be a little harsher.

Angelf1sh · 18/01/2018 10:13

There’s nothing you can say. You’ve said no three times already and he’s choosing to ignore it. This isn’t a failure of your ability to communicate your message clearly enough, this is totally him ignoring you because you’re not saying what he wants to hear.

If you want to try again, I’d say “ I’ve repeatedly told you I’m not interested but you have continued to harass me. If you ever attempt to see or speak to me again, I will contact the police. I’m blocking you now.” Then follow through.

PhilODox · 18/01/2018 10:14

Block him just for using "loose" instead of "lose"!

Grin
BertrandRussell · 18/01/2018 10:15

“If you don’t stop harassing me I will report you to the police”

magoria · 18/01/2018 10:15

Women are conditioned to be polite and keep the peace. Stop being polite.

He is not being considerate of your preference not to be involved with him.

Be blunt. Tell him you have tried to tell him politely you are not interested now you are telling him not to contact you again. He is harassing you and you are blocking him.

Then block and do not respond.

MargoLovebutter · 18/01/2018 10:15

I'm rubbish at saying no to people, but in this instance you can help yourself, by blocking his number and not responding to him at all. You don't have to respond in any way - there is no obligation on you to.

Does he have any details about where you live or work - or anything other than your phone number?

QueenOfAccidentalDeathStares · 18/01/2018 10:15

you have to be rude and block. I was in a similar situation. You cannot be nice or friendly, as they take it to mean "the door is open".

ATeardropExplodes · 18/01/2018 10:16

'There is no me and you. I have been advised to tell you for a final time that I am not interested and to stop harassing me. I am blocking you now and any further contact will be taken, with the evidence gathered already, to the next stage with the assistance of the police. Do not contact me again, ever'.

mumonashoestring · 18/01/2018 10:16

He doesn't need to be able to contact you on your personal phone to be able to work with/near you - you've explained you're not interested, repeat yourself once and then explain that since you don't want him to be in any doubt about your intentions you're going to block his number now.

mumonashoestring · 18/01/2018 10:16

He doesn't need to be able to contact you on your personal phone to be able to work with/near you - you've explained you're not interested, repeat yourself once and then explain that since you don't want him to be in any doubt about your intentions you're going to block his number now.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 18/01/2018 10:17

Don't be polite.

He's not being polite to you....he doesn't give a shit about your feelings or boundaries.

Women are waaayyy to conditioned to be nice to men, even when the men are jumping all over their boundaries.

I suggest..

"I'm not interested. Fuck off and leave me alone"

Then block him on everything.

Job done.

Honestly he's feeding off the attemtion.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 18/01/2018 10:19

And yeah....this is fucking harassment.

He's a creepy shitbag I bet ya.

ScrambledSmegs · 18/01/2018 10:21

“If you don’t stop harassing me I will report you to the police”

Definitely this. And then if he keeps on, report him.

Cricrichan · 18/01/2018 10:24

I'd log it with the police anyway. Just in case this isn't the first time he's done this.

restbiterepeat · 18/01/2018 10:24

Just block.

One no is sufficient. Don't give this oxygen.

Original poster
PeppyPiggy · 18/01/2018 10:24

OH MY DAYS - I feel so stupid. I can completely see what you are saying, all of you. Why am I being polite? Yes he clearly has no respect or any giving a shit about what I think or say.

OP posts:
Footle · 18/01/2018 10:27

StorminaBcup, why the hell should PoppyPiggy lie in this situation? How would an imaginary boyfriend help?

Angelf1sh · 18/01/2018 10:28

Don’t feel stupid op, women are conditioned to prioritise men’s feelings. It’s not your fault.

restbiterepeat · 18/01/2018 10:29

Meh, don't feel bad. I fell for this shit and I don't even try to be particularly nice most of the time.

AriadneThread · 18/01/2018 10:31

Atta girl!
Agree with the above especially ATeardropExplodes. Do please keep the evidence including your messages to him. This could turn nasty.