A clear definitive way to tell this man NO?! ...politely....

[PeppyPiggy]

I went on a date with this guy out of feeling pressure and pity cause he wouldn't stop (I know, I know, my bad!) I thought I would give it a chance. date was fucking awful the guy is very strange to put it briefly.
He now will not take NO for answer, he keeps blowing up my phone, continues to call even when I continue to very clearly reject the calls. I told him there is no chance of romance three times now since the date. Yesterday I said it again, he accepted it! He said thats fine and that he didn't want to chase - hallelujah - just a few hours later he has texted me this

"I've been thinking, the wind has kept me up a bit. It would be helpful for me to chat about some questions with you' (dunno wtf he's on about) "I'd like to discover about me and you. How about we chat briefly a bit later or on a convenient evening. I feel we do have a lot in common. It would be a shame to loose that. x"

As polite as his message sounds he has down right ignored every single time I say no. I have said no to him and then he starts talking to me about how much money he has as well, he's even randomly sent me pictures of how much money he's made in the week its really creepy. BUT the thing is, we run in the same circles in terms of work and socialising, I really didn't want to have to block him and would rather keep things on amicable terms. Can anyone help with just the perfectly, definitive, very clear AND POLITE way of saying that I am not interested. Everything I say seems to be completely ignored I want him to get the picture fully...

Honestly if he can’t understand NO, being polite will get you nowhere!

Tell him to fuck off
Block his number on your phone
If you met him online, block him on the site
If you spoke on WhatsApp block him on that too

You're not stupid Peppy he is manipulative
glad hear that you've seen the light 💡👍

Send BertrandRussell's message.

It is quite possible that he may continue to message you after that. If he does, do not reply, but do report it to the police. This man has already ignored what you are saying to him many times - he needs to find out that you mean it. You must follow through on the warning.

You say you 'run in the same circles' with work. If there is any chance that this could impact on you - say, he could slag you off to a colleague - then I would be tempted to go to HR as well, pre-emptively.

Agreed with everyone, and especially with telling some of the people that you run in the same circles with. It wouldn't surprise me if he's already known for this creepy violation of boundaries.

1 more message that says 'Look, I do not owe you an explanation especially when you have not given me the courtesy of respecting my feelings. I am not interested in seeing you again on any level so ask again that you stop the intrusive messages and calls. If you don't I will have to consider it harrassment'

I would just block, any kind of message could mean he can have a come back. Seriously it's contact of sorts even if negative. Even the I will be in touch with the police is attention for him. But I think you should contact the police to log it and get advice.

Block and does he know your family name? If so come off social media for a while. As soon as someone knows your family name it's really incredibly easy for people to be able to find out a lot about you.

no - this is stalking. tell him to fuck off and then block him. He is being disrespectful of your wishes.

'I do not want to meet up with you.
I do not want to chat.
I've tried being polite.
I am blocking you now.'

I saw someone for a few months.
Lovely guy and had some fun but not for me.
Ended it. He took it well, or so I thought.
He blocked me on the message app.
Low and behold back he comes.
Can I answer 1 question?
Yes.
Wants to meet up.
No.
Gets all weird.
I just blocked him on everything in the end.
Nothing wrong with doing that.
You only saw this guy once.
You owe him nothing!

Whatever you do, don't keep this to yourself, this guy is a creep, and a potential stalker. Keep all messages. Send one direct, further text, and block. If he comes to the house, call the Police, you will have evidence of harassment.

Why even announce your intention? If you just block him he won't know the difference between that and you just not replying.

Yes, keep the messages. Send one final message stating clearly that you are not interested in him, how he feels about you is irrelevant, you have told him this politely and that you consider his unwanted calls and messages since to be harassment as his inability to respect your wishes and feelings is causing you alarm and distress. You are blocking him now and if he attempts to have any further personal contact with you either directly or indirectly (through other people) from now on you will report him to the police.

I think if you've already told him clearly that you are not interested (and by clearly I don't mean something like 'it's not the right time etc. Just a very clear 'no, never goodbye') then you don't need to respond to this text. However, if you haven't been as clear as you could be, perhaps one more (not 'polite') text saying something like 'I have told you I am not interested, I am blocking you and if you contact me again I will be involving the police.' It's sounds harsh but these situations can really get out of hand. Good luck.

Also remember the grey rock technique be really boring and uninteresting don't engage respond or feed him with anything

If you do need to be polite I'd just say you've entered into a relationship with someone else ... that or you're gay. But honestly I'd not be polite to him, as you've said he's not treating you with any respect !

I had one like this.

Block/ ignore.

After the 5th round of being polite/ not polite/ telling him to take his cockwomble ass to the moon, I just stopped replying. Worked a treat.

Just one more text. I've tried being polite, now I'm telling you straight, I dont wish to see you again and I am now blocking your phone number.

Also remember the grey rock technique be really boring and uninteresting don't engage respond or feed him with anything

That is genuius. Grey rock technique.

"This has now become really awkward for me. I've tried to tell you I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. I'm not sure if you're not understand what I'm saying or choosing to ignore it. I do not wish to talk about this further and would appreciate it if you could refrain from pushing this further"

If he STILL doesn't get it

"Look cunty bollocks, fuck off! And when you get there fuck off to the far side of fuck"

the time for polite has long since sailed away.

I wouldn't respond to him at all. If you do respond don't give excuses (Im in a relationship etc - all will be grist to his mill). Give one succinct NO to him - like Bertrand's suggestion. Then just block and ignore every message and every phone call. If he does get through to you on the phone, simply hang up.

If it escalates from there to him calling around, then I think you will have to call the police.

You are not silly or stupid op.

I got sucked in by shit like this all the time.

And appeasing blokes is conditioned into many, many women....the best bit is waking up and realising that inappropriate/unwanted attention from men can simply be dealt with, with a "Fuck off" and a hard stare.

Parapet that's giving him something to cling onto. People like him will think "But she MUST care a bit or she wouldn't respond"

OP block.

once you tell him you are going to ignore him you must stick to it
If you sometimes respond and sometimes don't then you are providing an intermittent reinforcement schedule, this is powerfully motivating and will spur him on more than anything
psychopathsandlove.com/intermittent-reinforcement/

PhilODox

Block him just for using "loose" instead of "lose"!

grin

This!

"Look cunty bollocks, fuck off! And when you get there fuck off to the far side of fuck"

No no no
That is the opposite of Grey Rock
A response like that is the equivalent of tempting exciting interesting sweetie, he will gobble that up and race back for more

Parapet, that message is awful! OP if you reply at all then don't send that.

I'd make sure you have copies of everything

then I'd ignore him

if he reappears, then send a message saying "you are harassing me and I will be reporting it to the police. now FUCK OFF".