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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Amazing sex...

79 replies

SnowGlitter · 12/12/2017 13:15

I'm curious.

I read it quite often on here and I'm really curious as to what is meant by it.

"I met this man on POF. We went on a date... after the third date we went back and had amazing sex... I haven't heard from him since. Why?"

or

"I've been seeing this man, I know I've got to end it, but the sex is amazing..."

or

"I've been seeing this lovely man and the sex is amazing"

That type of thing. And I've just read another thread where an ill fated encounter was described but where the sex was "amazing".

I've had a fair bit of sex. Of varying degrees of quality. But this phrase, when I read it on here, always makes me wonder, "I wonder why it was amazing. What does Amazing Sex mean?" I've had sex that was good/bad/indifferent/lovely - but I'm not sure it's ever been 'amazing'.

I suppose I just wonder what I'm missing out on! Grin

I've been here ages, I NC regularly. I could have posted in sex but I didn't reall think it warranted it. I'm not looking for specific details Smile

OP posts:
Ollivander84 · 12/12/2017 13:26

First time with a (ex) boyfriend. Everything felt brand new but like we had done it hundreds of times before. Nothing else existed and the chemistry was incredible, like when people say sparks were flying

Ollivander84 · 12/12/2017 13:27

Oh and afterwards both of us went "holy shit, what was that?!"

SnowGlitter · 12/12/2017 13:30

Oh really? Crap, maybe I am missing out then! Grin

OP posts:
ReliefOfChaos · 12/12/2017 13:30

I'm a cynical old man, but I strongly suspect it's mostly to do with self-justification and the ranking of men as worthy or unworthy. You tend to notice that the exact same things that were abdomen tightening, sheet grabbing amazing sex sessions when she's trying to convince herself into a relationship suddenly turn into awful, limp and clammy violations when she's trying to convince herself out of it again.

mickhucknallspinkpancakes · 12/12/2017 13:31

I think it depends on your general outlook to life....

"The ice cream sundaes in that place are very nice"

"The ice cream sundaes in that place are the most delicious I've ever tasted, you have to try them, they are amazing!!!!!!

There are varying degrees of satisfaction in society.

SnowGlitter · 12/12/2017 13:34

See that's what I wondered, Chaos.

I wondered whether it was a simple as "I had an orgasm" therefore it classifies as 'amazing', given how many women allegedly don't have them. Or whether there was really something special about it.

I would say I've only had really good sex with one man - I felt completely at ease with him; I believed he fancied me; I didn't find anything about him off putting; everything worked as it should and did what it should... but I'm still not sure I'd put it in the category of AMAZING!

OP posts:
Mari50 · 12/12/2017 13:48

Och, you can’t trust other folks judgement anyway. I’ve been to enough mediocre hotels that other people have said were ‘amazing’ on trip advisor to know that a lot of people have standards that are totally different to mine.

mickhucknallspinkpancakes · 12/12/2017 13:50

Exactly @Mari50 Smile

Morecheeeeeeesegromit · 12/12/2017 14:04

DP and I have what I class as amazing sex, it's so much better than anything i experienced before him......i feel incredible after Blush

RidingWindhorses · 12/12/2017 14:12

I'm always mind-boggled by the % of women who say they don't orgasm during sex. I'm not sure I could be arsed with it if that were the case.

SnowGlitter · 12/12/2017 14:14

But i'd possibly expect "amazing sex" to develop between people who have been together a while.

It's all the ONS/known him a week and had sex twice threads where the sex is 'Amazing' that I was wondering about.

Perhaps they have just had really crappy experiences before.

OP posts:
SnowGlitter · 12/12/2017 14:17

I'm always mind-boggled by the % of women who say they don't orgasm during sex. I'm not sure I could be arsed with it if that were the case.

Yeah, me too, tbh.

OP posts:
MrsSthe3rd · 12/12/2017 14:19

I feel amazing after me and DH have had sex. I just can't explain the feeling.

We've been together almost 20 years, and it really has got better the longer we've been together.

Ecclesiastes · 12/12/2017 14:19

Sex without orgasm is like chewing food & spitting it out.

MiracleCure · 12/12/2017 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MiracleCure · 12/12/2017 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pudding21 · 12/12/2017 16:47

My sexual experiences in terms of variety are limited. But, with my ex (of 21 years) I always said we had a good sex life. Good meaning I always orgasmed and we did it more than once a week.

Then I met someone after I left, FWB situation, looks like its ending as he has an itch to persue another woman. Anyway, amazing doesn't do it justice. The whole time I felt like my skin was aroused, sometimes I would get whole body goosebumps, I think we had a good "fit" both in terms of appetite and ergonomics. I'm gonna miss him a lot. Onwards and upwards! Very passionate, but not as much eye contact as I would like (he is a pure commitment phobe). Next one needs to be the same, but with eye contact. And love. Now that would be amazing!

moonfacebaby · 12/12/2017 16:59

I can honestly say the sex with my last two partners has been amazing.

I’d spent 14 years married to a man where the sex was disappointing to say the least.

We split up, I met my ex & it was mind-blowing. Not only was he sexually adventurous, but I was also experiencing multiple orgasms for the first time in my life. It was wild, animalistic sex & we couldn’t get enough of each other.

Current partner is a fantastic lover too....and the sex is definitely amazing, but more tender too. Unfortunately, I’m not sure all the other things I need are there...

Bearing in mind that I rarely orgasmed with just penetrative sex with my exH & partners previous to him, all of this has been a revelation. I’d had good sex, but nothing like this.

HungerOfThePine · 12/12/2017 18:29

I have had amazing sex but only ever with one man, everything was just right and intuitive with added fire, it helps that the first time we were together we did something that neither had done before and so I imagine a surprisingly great start led to an amazing sex life although we connected on many other levels.

I've had good sex with many others where they are attentive and give the right amount of attention so I'm happy enough with that if that's what I get as it isn't the be all and end all for a good relationship imo.

I've equally had crap sex.

My friends will usually ask/allude to my sexual partners and I'm pretty honest without much detail. I won't make something out to be what its not.

Boredboredboredboredbored · 12/12/2017 18:44

I've had been having SHIT sex with my stbxh for 16 years. He had erectile disfunction and ejaculated mostly within 2-3 minutes. It completely put me off sex. In fact it destroyed my sex drive and I was convinced I no longer desired sex.

2 months ago I met a new man. We have slept together a fair few times now. It took me a while to warm up but fuck me it's now amazing!! Why? He turns me on, it's like he's switched a light on in me. It lasted 2 hours on Friday night and by god it's been many years since I've had sex that long. The orgasms are so intense and he looks at me when we are out like he wants to rip my clothes off there and then. It's AMAZING!!

Boredboredboredboredbored · 12/12/2017 18:47

Just to add I'm 40 now but was quite promiscuous in my early 20s and have had sex which has been good and the bad, where there is chemistry and not. This sex is amazing!

Stillwishihadabs · 12/12/2017 18:49

for me Amazing sex is a kind of whole mind/body experience. Someone who instinctively gets it right without asking or prompting the whole "is that ok ?" Thing turns me off, Ffs you should be able to tell ! So an attentive but confident lover who responds to subtle cues, by also knows what he like and isn't afraid to try new things. An element of surprise is good too.

QueenThisTime · 12/12/2017 18:50

Hmm I think ReliefofChaos might have a point in my case. I've probably projected "amazingness" onto sex when I was in love and believed the person was wonderful. When the shine had worn off or worse I was on the verge of ending it, the sex was not as good - whether or not orgasms were involved. Maybe it's partly to do with how much you throw yourself into it IYSWIM.

Winosaurus · 12/12/2017 18:51

Amazing sex is electric, they touch you and you tingle. It’s intense and you’re completely in the moment and the orgasm(s) makes your legs turn to jelly.
If you’ve never had this... go out and find it Grin

MorrisZapp · 12/12/2017 18:54

It's a chemistry thing. I've had amazing sex with total muppets and boring sex with people I've loved with all my heart.

It's not like reviewing a restaurant. It's the chemistry between two people, which is subjective and unique.

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