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Relationships

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Original poster

Amazing sex...

79 replies

SnowGlitter · 12/12/2017 13:15

I'm curious.

I read it quite often on here and I'm really curious as to what is meant by it.

"I met this man on POF. We went on a date... after the third date we went back and had amazing sex... I haven't heard from him since. Why?"

"I've been seeing this man, I know I've got to end it, but the sex is amazing..."

"I've been seeing this lovely man and the sex is amazing"

That type of thing. And I've just read another thread where an ill fated encounter was described but where the sex was "amazing".

I've had a fair bit of sex. Of varying degrees of quality. But this phrase, when I read it on here, always makes me wonder, "I wonder why it was amazing. What does Amazing Sex mean?" I've had sex that was good/bad/indifferent/lovely - but I'm not sure it's ever been 'amazing'.

I suppose I just wonder what I'm missing out on!

I've been here ages, I NC regularly. I could have posted in sex but I didn't reall think it warranted it. I'm not looking for specific details

OP posts:

Stillwishihadabs · 12/12/2017 18:54

I'd say the sex I've had ( 14 ish partners) has been good about 40% of the time Ok another 30% crap about 20% of the time and amazing maybe 10%. Been with dh now 20 years I reckon we have amazing sex maybe twice a year. The rest of it is good and it is occasionally ok (only had truly crap sex with dh on a couple of occasions).

DeltaG · 12/12/2017 18:59

I think it's got to do with chemistry. You either have that with someone or you don't, but when you do, I think it's what makes the sex amazing.

Chemistry is hard to explain IMO, but at the very minimum it means being physically attracted to the other person...however it's more than just that, I think it also involves feeling desirable yourself in their presence. You can have it with someone you have known for ages or someone you've just met... when it's there, it's there.

namechange2222 · 12/12/2017 19:09

Ive had really good sex without being in a relationship and, occasionally, as part of a ONS. However, for me, amazing sex has only been with intimacy. With true intimacy there is trust and quite often love. I've only had amazing sex with a couple of people, both I'd say I was properly intimate ( emotionally) with

DeltaG · 12/12/2017 19:11

And to echo Morris, I agree that the chemistry transcends stuff like personality traits. There was a Russian military surgeon on MBA course with me and he was an arrogant wanker who I argued with all the time, but I knew he wanted to fuck me and me him....never did due to circumstance but I bet the sex would have been amazing.

I think this is one reason why people stay with unsuitable people. I had a friend who had a hard time giving up an absolute cocklodging knob because the sex was 'amazing'...

kmc1111 · 12/12/2017 19:28

For me it means all consuming passion, multiple orgasms, incredible intensity, time vanishing, coherent thought vanishing, bodies melting into each other...oh and legs like jelly for hours afterwards, if not days.

It's not an emotional thing for me. I've had amazing sex with people I had no feelings for.

Afternooncatnap · 12/12/2017 19:30

I think amazing is they give you the horn, they do what you like without instructions or request and you are satisfied.

kmc1111 · 12/12/2017 19:30

Oh, and I continued to have amazing sex with some ex's well after the relationships had run their course in all other ways. It was as good when I was sick to death of them as it was when I was madly in love.

DorisDarlings · 12/12/2017 19:41

I'm always mind-boggled by the % of women who say they don't orgasm during sex. I'm not sure I could be arsed with it if that were the case.

I've never had an orgasm in 30 years of marriage. I just can't. I feel self conscious. DH is trying so hard to the point of being so 'earnest' it puts me off. I think we are incompatible. It's taken me this long to accept it but he's good in other ways. It's always been 'comfy sex' but not 'amazing'.

I've slept with around 6 men in my life. Two were virgins and one was hopeless. The other one was ok but we were both young and I didn't have a clue.

I hope I can have amazing sex before I die but that will mean divorce or a secret lover.

MeMeMeMe123 · 12/12/2017 19:55

OrangesAndLemonsOnly · 12/12/2017 19:58

Amazing sex is when your whole body has turned to jelly and you are unable to move your arms or legs for quite some time after. Literally unable to move... nor want to, wrapped up in this feeling of complete relaxation, your mind free of thoughts, and you are lost in the all-encompassing feeling of bliss and happiness. This is what I call amazing sex.

MeMeMeMe123 · 12/12/2017 19:59

Ecclesiastes
Sex without orgasm is like chewing food & spitting it out

Brilliant analogy!

In all seriousness i think amazing sex happens when you shag someone who is actually 'into' sex and into you as opposed to going through the motions and being utterly disengaged (exDH definitely the latter)

lizzieoak · 12/12/2017 20:06

It’s notoriously difficult to write about sex, but Oranges has said it about right for me. I’ve only had one partner with whom I’ve hd amazing sex. Prior to that was exh with whom I had one orgasm in a 15 year relationship. I had no idea it could be like it was with the next one (I enjoyed sex, and suspected there should be more ...).

Losing track of whose limbs are whose, laughing and talking and looking into each other’s eyes at pivotal moments, multiple orgasms, lost in a cloud, seeing colours and patterns swimming in front of me.

NeverHave · 12/12/2017 21:15

NC for this - regular poster.

This thread has made me very sad. I am one of the “never had an orgasm” women. Spent 27 years in an emotionally abusive relationship, intimacy of any kind was used as a control mechanism and if I ever initiated anything I would be rejected only to wake up later in the night to him pleasuring himself in bed beside me. He would occasionally demand his “conjugal rights” but had no interest in my enjoyment so it was always something to be endured. As the years passed it thankfully became less frequent.

We have been separated for two years now and I don’t know if I will ever have another relationship...

HipNewName · 12/12/2017 21:19

Reminds me a story.

A good friend of mine went through a horrible divorce. About a year later, another friend told her that it was time for her to get out of the house and have fun and set her up with an army man she knew who was getting ready to ship out. Felt it was perfect because he would take her out dancing, have fun, and then leave the county.

So my friend went out with army man. Had a lovely time. They started kissing, and, in her own words,

....."one thing lead to another, and it turns out that I do have a G spot that in 17 years of hunting around my Ex was never able to locate. All I can say is, Go Army!"

Mishappening · 12/12/2017 21:20

RidingWindhorses - how I agree with you. What the hell is the point if you don't enjoy it. I am getting on a bit now, but have never once in my life had sex without climax - I can't think why you would bother otherwise.

PaintingByNumbers · 12/12/2017 21:23

I dont have to orgasm for it to be amazing. I like edging, for hours and hours, until time ceases to exist, you lose all sense of self, sink into pure feelings of absolutely intense and overwhelming bliss, feel like my body is an endless waterfall of pleasure, and if I do come, it lasts for minutes and minutes, then moves onto the next waves of pure pleasure even more intense than the last. Eventually, when you both stop, exhausted, neither of you can speak or move for ten minutes or so

Thats what I call amazing sex. I do think its a chemistry thing.

PaintingByNumbers · 12/12/2017 21:25

I really dont see the orgasm(s) as the goal or end point or even necessary tbh. I've had loads of pretty mundane orgasms that i'd swap in a millisecond for that more intense kind of sex. Its way way way way better

pigeondujour · 12/12/2017 21:30

Amazing sex for me is much more about my own mindset rather than the person I'm with. We definitely have amazing sex on weekend mornings or when we've been apart, for example. On a tired Tuesday night I love and fancy him exactly the same, and the sex is lovely, but not 'amazing' in the same way. So much of sex is mental, for me at least; if I've got no time limits, haven't got to be up in the morning, and I'm not stressed, the physical difference is massive, no matter if it's with the same man with the same skills.

BelligerentGardenPixies · 12/12/2017 21:31

I've had good sex, never what I would call amazing though. Doubt I ever will.

I do think it's to do with chemistry but also perhaps a bit to do with individual physiology (pelvic nerve development) and the psychological ability to let go with a partner.

TheSassyAssassin · 12/12/2017 21:37

Agree, definitely a chemistry thing and when it's there it tips good and enjoyable sex into OMFG what just happened sex! Best feeling in the world

Ellisandra · 12/12/2017 21:40

@NeverHave
I'm so happy to read that you're separated.

idpreferanegroni · 12/12/2017 21:45

I had a one night stand once with a guy I didn't know but was very physically attracted to. We both knew that neither of us had had sex for a while. It was warm weather and something just clicked. He let himself go, as did I, he was thoughtful and yet entitled. It felt life changing. Friends who saw me the following day kept saying how great I looked. It was the sort of experience where people walk out of their lives for.
I've had some really great intimate sex with a long-term partner too but this time is where I'll go to in my old age.

BorgQueenie · 12/12/2017 21:47

We still have this after over 25 years of marriage. It's amazing because we are so absorbed in each other that the world is blotted out. Afterwards, the sounds of outside gradually come back, so I'll notice traffic and other noises again, having been oblivious to them during. It feels like a chemical reaction.

Ellisandra · 12/12/2017 21:47

I think the reason a lot of people do the "amazing!!!" thing when they first shag, is that one fabulous contributor to 'amazing' is that newness factor.

The excitement of someone new, the kick out of discovering they fancy you, the fun of discovery - and often an exquisite bit of will we / won't we.

Once you're in a relationship, you pretty much know you're going to get it but that first time, when nothing's guaranteed? Awesome. And often, early days of sex (or at least the very first time) is pretty drawn out, which really helps to build up the excitement.

A lot of women need quite a lot of time to get to the best level of turned on, and sadly in a lot of relationships, people don't bother. All a bit wham bam. Early on, some people try harder, but that natural spinning out of a first date allows it to build.

So I think first time sex is disproportionately amazing.

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 12/12/2017 21:58

For the people that haven't had an orgasm. If you haven't already tried it. Get on love honey and buy a bullet with good reviews and different speed settings to try. It comes in plain packages no one will know what it is.

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