Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Amazing sex...

79 replies

SnowGlitter · 12/12/2017 13:15

I'm curious.

I read it quite often on here and I'm really curious as to what is meant by it.

"I met this man on POF. We went on a date... after the third date we went back and had amazing sex... I haven't heard from him since. Why?"

"I've been seeing this man, I know I've got to end it, but the sex is amazing..."

"I've been seeing this lovely man and the sex is amazing"

That type of thing. And I've just read another thread where an ill fated encounter was described but where the sex was "amazing".

I've had a fair bit of sex. Of varying degrees of quality. But this phrase, when I read it on here, always makes me wonder, "I wonder why it was amazing. What does Amazing Sex mean?" I've had sex that was good/bad/indifferent/lovely - but I'm not sure it's ever been 'amazing'.

I suppose I just wonder what I'm missing out on!

I've been here ages, I NC regularly. I could have posted in sex but I didn't reall think it warranted it. I'm not looking for specific details

OP posts:

DorisDarlings · 12/12/2017 22:35

Oh I've got the toys, and they do the job, but it's hardly the same as a man.

I feel physically sick reading these posts about great sex. Am so jealous and so sad.

I've got to 50+ and it's never happened. I was too young, they were too young or inexperienced, one man would have been great but I didn't know what to do (for me) having never masturbated..then DH.

There is just something about 'us' that doesn't work for me despite him being loving and caring.

user1497991628 · 12/12/2017 22:38

winosaurus has it...I have met a new partner and the sex is amazing..... it makes me feel a bit emotional and fucking awesome... he touches me and I tingle, my whole self yearns for it, it’s proper amazing sex.

user1497991628 · 12/12/2017 22:39

And I’m quite old... I was devastated when dh left me....not so much now... 😉

Spidermom76 · 12/12/2017 22:43

I'm with someone a few months after a terrible marriage that left me very inhibited and self concious and I think the sex is amazing, we just get lost in it for hours. The sexual chemistry was there from day one and it's getting better as time goes by.

I'm glad to hear other posters get shaky legs I thought that was just me being unfit!

I never had orgasms with ex so I thought it was just the way things were now I know different .

ArcheryAnnie · 12/12/2017 22:56

You tend to notice that the exact same things that were abdomen tightening, sheet grabbing amazing sex sessions when she's trying to convince herself into a relationship suddenly turn into awful, limp and clammy violations when she's trying to convince herself out of it again.

This seems to me - especially with the use of the word "violations" - to have more than a whiff of the extremely nasty "she cried rape when she changed her mind" about it.

Dappledsunlight · 12/12/2017 23:07

I wonder if this description of the experience being "amazing" can be partly attributed to: a) people comparing some sex at all to...zero sex during a previously dry period (hence the ONS) and/or b) some degree of fantasy/wish fulfilment about wishing to achieve "amazing" sex in order to confirm one's own desirability and simply rejoining the party of humanity, in a it-feels-great-to-be-alive kind of way! Just sayin' ....cos I identify with a mixture of these elements! Also, that exhilarating experience with someone new can be intoxicating enough to persuade us that the sex is incredible when really it's just that heady mixture of excitement and novelty of a new partner.

user1497991628 · 12/12/2017 23:11

I don’t agree. I’ve had lots of sex with lots of people.

Occasionally you hit on the amazing sex... it’s just a thing. Probably chemistry.

ReliefOfChaos · 12/12/2017 23:15

The term was chosen for the poetry, ArcheryAnne, my apologies if it was offensive.

ArcheryAnnie · 12/12/2017 23:17

It wasn't that it was offensive, ReliefOfChaos, I don't give a shit about being offended. it's that this kind of argument really feeds into the "women cry rape when it's just bad sex" thing, ie rapists aren't really rapists argument. It's really dangerous, poetic or not.

poppingshop1 · 12/12/2017 23:21

Agree it’s to do with chemistry. I know I would have amazing sex with Tom Hardy

user1497991628 · 12/12/2017 23:24

See, in my view, chemistry can strike with unlikely people...

Especially if they stimulate your mind too....

Faking · 12/12/2017 23:42

I convince myself I've had a lot of amazing sex with different people but do not look back at all of the encounters fondly.

In fact, I have only had a handful of orgasms in my life (which, I guess, is amazing, if you don't have them often), but if you were to ask my previous partners, they would all tell you I had, because I faked it, loudly, and no doubt, told them they were the best I'd ever had.

Partly my fault, for living in the land of make-believe and partly their fault for believing that a 'wham, bam, thank you ma'am's would send me over the edge

I think the problem then becomes that some men don't need to work hard to truly turn a woman on because faking came just like that.

I'll never forget a guy I dated years ago, telling me that every woman he'd slept with had orgasmed. Little did he know

poppingshop1 · 12/12/2017 23:43

user completely agree. I’ve met men who are not my type & ones that I don’t even like but know that sex with them would be amazing. Intelligence and humour can be very attractive.

MistressDeeCee · 13/12/2017 03:00

I have amazing, intense sex with DP. Almost every time. Im in my 50s and before meeting him I thought Id had amazing sex with a couple of exes. I hadn't, though. I joke that I was barely alive before I met him. I do think its to do with both loving and liking the whole person. Alongside them being good/non-selfish in bed

Lollipop30 · 13/12/2017 03:31

‘I'm always mind-boggled by the % of women who say they don't orgasm during sex. I'm not sure I could be arsed with it if that were the case.’

This is generally because they don’t know what they’re missing.
Sex with DH has always been way better than with anyone prior, we’ve been together 11yrs and I’ve had numerous partners prior. I had my first orgasm about 2yrs if that ago. I don’t all that often from sex it’s still only been a handful of times that it’s been amazing and unfortunately now I know there can be more to it I’m more easily disappointed.
I still love him completely and we do have chemistry but I’m also too self conscious to truly let go. I have a tendency to give up before I’m disappointed which of course does not make for amazing sex.

AuntyElle · 13/12/2017 03:54

ArcheryAnnie: This seems to me - especially with the use of the word "violations" - to have more than a whiff of the extremely nasty "she cried rape when she changed her mind" about it.

Absolutely agree, Annie. A nasty post that says plenty about the poster.

Poetic? No.

Original poster

SnowGlitter · 13/12/2017 06:10

Interesting. I was with my exh husband for 14 years. Our relationship was almost entirely sexless after the first 18 months. To begin with, we had reasonable chemistry, but he pretty much killed it. He always made me feel that sex was something he did to me rather than with me. He had some very funny ideas about women enjoying sex (they shouldn't) and I always felt dirty afterwards.

Prior to that, I'd had ok sex. But nothing great because I was mostly single. So it was more a case of finding someone to scratch an itch rather than anything else!

Since my marriage ended, I've had a combination of technically good but no connection sex; huge chemistry but slightly disappointing sex; mediocre sex; quite good sex. All ended in orgasms, except where that wasn't a consideration for him at all. But I wouldn't say that was enough for it to be amazing. And it quite often felt like a 'performance' that I was a participant in more than anything more.

The last man I dated was younger than me and didn't watch porn. It was really obvious! I would say that the sex I had with him was the best I've ever had. Never failed to 'hit the spot', and it felt 'intimate' - like it was only him and me - I didn't feel like I was a bit part player in something he was doing. It wasn't the best because it was technically excellent, or because it went on for hours, but because it was sweet and lovely and warm. Still not sure I'd describe it as amazing though.

I think it's more that whenever I read posts from other people describing one or two sex sessions as 'amazing', which always seems to be how it is, I just wondered what it was that made it so. I can see how sex can become 'amazing' with someone you know really well.

OP posts:

PaintingByNumbers · 13/12/2017 06:37

Thats the good chemistry bit I suppose. In tune, unselfish, relaxed, confident, good at sex.

Humpsfor20yards · 13/12/2017 06:44

I've had mostly great sex from the beginning (16) to now late 40s by which I mean loads of orgasms.

I think amazing might mean - you didn't expect that time to be that awesome but it was. You kind of both go 'wow where did that come from' after.

flumpybear · 13/12/2017 06:49

I think it's where it engages your brain as well as your physical body

TDHManchester · 13/12/2017 07:20

Amazing is the new buzz word. Everything is amazing. Listen to anyone on a chat show especially media luvvies and celebs/z listers,everything is amazing.

Sex..? Well i think its a first sex thing. I;ve never yet had first sex with a new partner that wasn't...ermmm.....amazing.

MiracleCure · 13/12/2017 08:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MiracleCure · 13/12/2017 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 13/12/2017 09:40

@MiracleCure Start a throlling thread in the the Sex topic board. Someone will come on and claim they do it all the time and only mundanes don’t

MiracleCure · 13/12/2017 12:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread