Can you make me laugh?

[girlingerrupting]

I hope that doesn't sound judgy.... anyway my marriage is pretty tough at the moment, I'm working a lot of hours and not seeing my children or friends as much as I'd like. I could really do with getting my sense of humour back anyone with tips most welcome?!?

Not sure how it sounds judgy

I don't laugh. Not properly so I can't help. Happen it's overrated. Enjoy the little things. Today I am spending with horses. I am nervous . Not been around them for a while. I'll probably get emotional

That made me smile actually reminded me of my boys on horses... calm/smiley when they are normally mad!

I didn't laugh today but my heart is well and truly smitten. I suffer from anxiety and the sense of calm I felt around those animals today is beyond description. Just beautiful

That's so lovely I do think horses are amazing. They really bring out the best in people.

Hmm. I watched a horribly childish film the other day (makes the outsiders look like Shakespeare) and almost peed myself laughing. DH thought I was going to bust a gasket. I guess it just had to come out. I dont usually laugh at bum and willy jokes.

Funny to me maybe won't be to you but, here goes...

OH is a silver fox, has been growing a beard. I don't like it, it's way too big & bushy but it's his face so I say nothing much. We were patiently waiting to get into a parking space today as someone was reversing out, then this elderly man in his nippy little car zoomed into the space. OH calmly said 'excuse me, I was waiting" to which this cantankerous old git bellowed "oh just fuck off, Santa!"

I didn't laugh in front of him or OH but hid myself in the loo the minute I got home.. tears of laughter with my hand over my mouth. I know I should show some solidarity but it was bloody funny. I reckon he may trim that beard now

WTH...why is there a teddy bear under my post?! I didn't even know MN had a teddy icon. It's a Santa conspiracy nervous

I don't see a teddy. Or a 🎅

Love santa!! Thought teddy was supposed to be your husband that has made me chuckle. Thanks mistress.

Do you think when we're old we'll be allowed to be rude to everyone?

What's the name of your film I'm up for low quality laughs...

Mistress that made me

I'm sorry to say that by the time we get old we won't be allowed to be cantankerous old biddies who run over people's ankles with shopping trolleys, barge folks out of the way or prod dawdlers with a walking stick. It's a bit disappointing.

That made me chortle Mistress. I admire your restraint.

I intend to count out a purse of coppers to pay for everything even if there's a queue. That's what my granny did.

I also intend flip the bird to aggressive drivers and drive slowly. Possibly in a convertible.

A baldy cat got on the bus, the driver said “where’s your fare”

I already do # 2

My cat has a "ribbon face"
This is when he sees any kind of ribbon

That face! 🙀

Of course not to be confused with his "I love pork scratchings more than life" face
If this doesn't make you laugh, I give up

Ive never seen such large eyes on a cat!

Did you hear about the couple who committed adultery in a multi-storey car park?

It was wrong on so many levels.

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Man comes home from work, clearly annoyed, and says to his wife: "I just heard that our milkman has shagged every woman on our street" - pauses meaningfully- "except one ..." wife says: "Oh, that'll be that stuck-up cow at No 11."

Today I left a shop and seen my car parked with a scratch on the rear. I bent down and started rubbing it with my hand whilst moaning about how could I have not realised I'd done this!

Annoyed I opened the door to put my daughter into her car seat but I discovered it was gone and realised someone must have stolen it and bumped my car and left the scratch!

Then I realised there was someone in the front passenger seat!

Then I realised it wasn't my car and id been rubbing someone elses car and opened their door.

The woman was so confused as I apologised, closed the door and walked away.

I couldn't stop laughing once I got to my car finally!

Ollivander those made me cry laughing. ThanKs

I've heard this which is a rare non-offensive religious joke. They are precious few.

Jesus in a restaurant : 'table for 26 please'
Maitre d' : but there are only 13 of you '
Jesus :' yeah but we all want to sit on the same side'

I shall dine out on this for a while (see what I did there)