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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Following on from another thread...How soon after giving birth did you start having sex again???

102 replies

Nemo2007 · 29/03/2007 09:56

Just wondering if I am completely odd as people seem shocked that someone with a 6wk old is thinking about sex again. Now with Ds was the longest I waited which was 4wks, DD1 was 3wks and DD2 was 2wks. Now will say I didnt have any stitches but did have tearing with Ds and DD2. Obviously I must be 'quick' back into action as there is only 12mths between the girls.

OP posts:
SANNA22 · 30/03/2007 14:28

ABOUT 3 WEEKS ONCE I STOPPED BLEEDING, REALLY WANTED IT BUT AS MY HUSBAND WATCHED DOC PERFORM EPISIOTOMY HE COULDN'T GET PICTURE OUT OF HIS HEAD AND COMPLAINED WHOLE WAY THROUGH ABOUT WHAT HE SAW THEM DO TO ME! DON'T THINK HAVING BABY IN SAME ROOM MADE HIM FEEL VERY COMFORTABLE EITHER

pirategirl · 30/03/2007 14:33

had SPD, still have pain now (dd is nearly 5), it was months before we could try, as had tearing and many lacerations, and unhealed bits.

Never felt right again, but pain stopped from tears, after about a yr.

nogoes · 30/03/2007 14:36

I know someone who waited a whole 2 days!

mygirllolipop · 30/03/2007 16:00

Message withdrawn

HopefullyJustParanoid · 30/03/2007 16:13

Midwife was v insistent we made sure everything was ok before the 6 week check - lucky as i was terrified after all the stitches and probably would have left it for ages

mousiemousie · 30/03/2007 16:18

What is the record, did anyone have sex after delivery and before leaving hospital?

mamatres · 30/03/2007 16:23

about 8 yrs and counting....! though managed the odd time in between when miraculously conceived ds2 and dd- only get the 'urge' when i'm ovulating now which kind of makes sense but also makes me feel like a dog- woof!!!

suwoo · 30/03/2007 17:38

7 months after DD neither of us seemed to want to after traumatic vag delivery.

DS is 16 weeks, and we waited until 3 weeks after section, but hadn't done it since I was about 20 weeks so DH was gagging for it. It didn't hurt at all after section, but correct positioning made a difference LOL

Greenleeves · 30/03/2007 18:39

I think it might have been mears who reported having to throw a bloke out of a post-natal ward after catching him and his recently delivered partner in the throes of passion

I would rather have eaten all the placentas on the premises, personally.

Swizzler · 30/03/2007 18:50

About 4 weeks... had episiotomy but had stopped bleeding.

loopylynds · 30/03/2007 21:35

Mine were both 5 weeks, just to be sure before 6 week check. First birth was c section, second had episiotomy and stitches. Though LO is 19 weeks now and not done it since!!
Utterly shocked at you early ones! Must be very brave, though if the birth was all ok then I suppose you prob don't feel too battered?
DH not on for sex whilst I was pregnant (though I really fancied it quite a lot), so I'm not that bothered about having it now (is that just mean?) Sure we'll recover in a couple of months

ChasingRabbits · 30/03/2007 21:52

two weeks with ds1, would have been earlier but then I got mastitis at 10 days But easy 1st birth and no tearing. Bleed for 6 weeks, but that didn't bother either of us.

longer with ds2, probably around 4/5 weeks but don't remember (and it's only a year ago!). even easier birth than ds1, but a little tear, and other dh issues that put me off.

ChasingRabbits · 30/03/2007 21:52

two weeks with ds1, would have been earlier but then I got mastitis at 10 days But easy 1st birth and no tearing. Bleed for 6 weeks, but that didn't bother either of us.

longer with ds2, probably around 4/5 weeks but don't remember (and it's only a year ago!). even easier birth than ds1, but a little tear, and other dh issues that put me off.

ChasingRabbits · 30/03/2007 21:52

opps sorry

2gorgeousboys · 30/03/2007 21:59

I know someone who conceived DD2 in hospital the day after giving birth to DD1 There is a reason there is a 4.5 year gap between my DS's!!

madoldcatlady · 30/03/2007 22:01

I know a man who has a brother 7 1/2 months younger than him! Work that one out!!

fortyplus · 31/03/2007 10:50

5 weeks for me - would've been earlier but was still bleeding till about 4.5 weeks. I was lucky not to have any tearing.

Apparently nearly half of all women wait a year if they have torn or been cut.

OzJo · 31/03/2007 13:11

6 weeks with child no 1, probably 3 months with no 2........ but have a mate that had a 3rd degree tear that didn't shag till 9 months after, and that was more because he was more scared than her....whatever feels right.

herbgarden · 31/03/2007 13:26

DS is nearly 9 months....so, nearly 9 months then and still can't pluck up the courage.... It's on my "to do" list

monkeyandcheekychops · 31/03/2007 13:29

I was 11 weeks with DS, lots of stitches, mainly fear putting me off. Did other 'stuff' though. Sorry if TMI!

5 weeks with DD, slight tear but no stitches.

My sis was back in action before 3 weeks passed and I thought she was crazy, I see its not that unusual from this thread though. I must tell her!

southernbelle · 31/03/2007 14:47

about 2-3 months, and i wished i'd waited longer. it was absoltultey awful (also thanks to problematic tear not healing well). kept trying again every week and it just got worse and worse, so we kinda stopped. we started agtain in earnest at the 6 months mark and it was really nice, and has been great (if infrequent) ever since. next time, i am defo waiting till i am feeling ready for it, there's nothing worse tan bad sex (yes, even worse than no sex) for a relationship!

FloatingNeedsAnEasterName · 31/03/2007 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Guitargirl · 31/03/2007 21:14

Just before 6 week check, partly out of curiosity to see whether everything still 'worked'

CarGirl · 31/03/2007 21:46

a few days with some, I think nearly 2 weeks with at least one. We both needed the closeness again. Didn't have any nasty tears though.

peacemama · 01/04/2007 11:41

I don't know what has happened to the girl I was before I was pregnant. Used to love sex and want it as much as possible. When I was pregnant it felt 'wrong' and now ds is 4 mo and I have only done it a few times and mainly for dp, and to try to get things back to normal. Its a bit sad really, but I have hope that the urges will come back again! I think it doesn't help that we are co-sleeping and totally knackered.